Teenager doesn't want to come home

[toughlove17]

Hello everyone, this is my first time going into this site and really hope God put it in front of me to get the answer I need.  My 16 yr daughter has been out since yesterday afterschool, she was going to stay over a friends house and when I confronted her that I wanted to talk to her friends mom, everythihng started.  She's been lying and lying, but the point is that she does not want to come home and I have no idea where she's at. She doesn't answer my telephone calls but has texted me that she's ok and she will come home when she's ready.  I feel with no power no matter what I tell he, she doesnt tell where she's at. I went to the Miami Beach police and they told me that I cannot report her missing because she's been in contact with me, therefore she has not been kidnapped, abducted or any of that stuff.  So in other words is all up to the paretns.  please help me I feel my daughter is in control and I cannot do anything until she comes home.  But I am very worry.  thanks for reading

[Lise756]

Has anything changed? My heart is crying every night as I am going through this with my daughter who just turned 18. Please let me know what your doing now 5 months later. I am ready to kick my daughter out of the house.

[Dummy57]

Please don't, makes things worst. She is in some emotional pain . Try counseling  and prayer.You will have a better understanding why your daughter is rebelling and will obtain tools to help you both get to a much healthier place. I have been there.

[Lise756]

Has anything changed? My heart is crying every night as I am going through this with my daughter who just turned 18. Please let me know what your doing now 5 months later. I am ready to kick my daughter out of the house.

[Marina1971]

My story seems not special after I read other stories. I am a single mother, immigrant, we came to Canada in 2006 with my son and my 8 year old daughter, who always been my support, my helper, my everything. I worked very hard to provide her with everything, we have no family in Canada and no support whatsoever. She never suffered financially as many immigrant kids did, my parents were helping a lot from abroad. She was dancing competitive ballroom dancing for many years which was very costly but I tried to manage and cut down everything else to let her dance and pursue her dream. Things started to change after 15, I couldn't recognize her anymore, She's 16 now, quit dance, sport and other activities and left home in NOvember, because she didn't want to live with my rules and limitations. She got to smoking weed, started to disappear at nights, and was lying all the time. She  became very aggressive and verbally and physically abusive. She accused me of emotional abuse and applied for social assistance. Her social worker at school didn't even bother to investigate the situation at home and believed her and her GF where my daughter moved in temporarily. I am a teacher, community interpreter and her lie damaged me badly. Now she is renting a room somewhere and I am not allowed to know  the address because she is a victim of "abuse". I don't know how to get her back, and would like to file a complaint on social worker who instead of helping the family and trying a counselling, took my daughter's side without even looking into things.
My life turned to hell since November, I lost myself, and don't know how to live without her. I don't know anything about her now, and haven't seen her for more than 2 months. I don't know what to do....

[Dummy57]

Sorry for the terrible emotional pain that you are experiencing as a result of your daughter being gone. I too am going through and knows what it feels.As a

[Dummy57]

Marina,I am so sorry to know the pain you are experiencing as a result of your daughter dissapearance dissapearanresult

[Dummy57]

Pray,pray pray that worked for me.

[Katie0725]

I'm so devastated.  I have a 15 year old son and he is out of control; angry, defiant, oppositional and smoking pot.  I've done EVERYTHING to help him I can think of.  I had to call the police on him two weeks ago as he was scaring me and being violent in the home; not with us, but with possessions.  The police are useless.  They basically treated me like I was in the wrong.  Saying in a sarcastic tone "what do you want US to do?  Give him a ticket?"  Ummmm...no.  Tickets aren't going to help.  I was lucky enough to get him into the local mental health hospital for help. Six days he spent there.  He was so angry, but came around and was doing great.  He was put on some medication for his moods and we saw a vast improvement very quickly.  He is in day treatment now for three hours a day, Monday through Friday. We go to family counseling.  I went to bat for him at school and made sure everything was taken care of for his return.  At family counseling last night I found out he's still smoking pot and says he doesn't see anything wrong with it. "It's a plant", he says.  If he doesn't get his way, he swears at me, says he will leave, clenches his fists.  I'm am sick and tired of living in fear every single day.  My heart is breaking, I cry constantly, but not only is he ruining his life, he's ruining mine!  I tell him I love him more than anything in this world.  He just texted me telling me he is going to his friends house after school.  I said no as I can't trust him right now and, of course, he went crazy and said many colorful things to me.  He said he is going no matter what.  He is 6'2", so people that say just go there and drag him home don't know what they are talking about.  He's not a little kid anymore. He towers over me.  I just keep thinking "I'm done.  I'm done", yet every parental instinct in me says I can't be.  How can I be?  But, what more can I do?!?  As of this very moment, I am considering refusing to pick him up tonight if he wants to come home.  He threatens to drop out of school constantly, so maybe it's time to say have at it.  Get a job and get an apartment and good luck.  I'm overwhelmed, defeated and miserable.  I love this kid more than anything in this world and now I have to make a decision that goes against every fiber in my being.  

[Lpsunshine]

My 16 year old daughter is doing the same thing she left last Tuesday this is the first time she has been gone this long but there's nothing I can do she won't talk to us and the cops say to just let her go. It's hard but she knows the rules here and when she wants to come home she needs to follow them or figure it out herself. She thinks she knows everything. My question is are we still responsible if she does something wrong?

[Momofthree9]

17 year old daughter, yes, she left home for 3 days last week, did come home, but I feel she is getting ready to leave again....my husband had admitted to his alcoholism and is getting help, has stopped, but she is angry that I am giving him another chance again....she is just done with us, with our family and wants out.  I am hurt, she is hurt, she has a very angry, narrow minded thought process right now, She needs counseling, wants nothing to do with it....feel  like she is a ticking time bomb.  I am now taking the approach of just telling her I love her and will always be here for her, even with her anger....what else can I do? I am in counseling, he will start counseling next week.....I fear for her next step, I fear she is going to go down a road that will only hurt her, she needs help. I feel totally out of control with being a parent to her. I know I have made a lot of mistakes with her and so has my husband, we are actively recognizing that and getting help.
Reading all of these comments helps me realize I am not alone, but it hurts so much, its almost disabling at this point...I want her to stay with us, I want her to open her mind and start a healing process....she is just so angry, she wont listen to me, and she cant even look at her father. Just so hurt.

[Radeashkah]

This is very true.