Feeling left out.

[Minieggs1990]

Okay, sorry if it's a bit of a long post. I'm not sure who else to talk to..
My first is 5 years old and is a boy. ( from a previous relationship.
Ive been with my partner now for 2years and I'm now 18 weeks pregnant with my second child (a girl) and we are both over the moon.

It started off to be a happy pregnancy.  Everything was going great. But just recently I've been feeling more like a surrogate  than I am her mom. Reson being, my partner is really fussy about what clothes  our child wears. Everything people have Brought,  he hasn't liked it. Even though I think there cute. I feel like I can't go out and buy her pretty clothes that I like.

Also, we had plans Christmas day. (I always go to my parents and he goes to his). This year though i was going to go to my parents for 2hours then go meet him at his parents. But the past couple of days he has dropped hints about how he doesn't want me there alone with our baby. Because people have alcoholic drinks and he doesn't want anyone hold her. Even though people will be drinking at his parents.

I feel like he doesn't trust me to take care of our child. I mean, I don't smoke, don't do drugs and I've not drank alcohol for 3 years now..
I was a single parent and I managed great so I think I'm capable of looking after our baby, and my son with his help?

Everytime I've tried to speak to him about how I'm feeling he always turns things around and makes me feel like I'm being unresonable.

Also I have his mom and sister come round my house every weekend, which I don't mind but there saying things like "were painting a nursery  so baby can stay with us, but you can come any time you want" and stuff like "I'm going to look after her all the time but I want her dressed a certain way"

It may be my hormones that's making me upset. I don't know. But I'm getting to the point were I'm crying and I'm fed up all the time.

Sorry for the super long post.  Has anyone got any advice? Or does anyone think I'm being stupid?

[Minieggs1990]

I've tried talking to my partner about how I feel but I just get made to feel like I'm in the wrong. And that I'm being silly. I don't know how else I can approach the situation with him.
He's at work at the minute and I messaged him on his break, but I'm just being ignored now.

I've already told him and explained to him about Christmas and seeing my parents. I've even had a few words with my mom and told her I know people are going to want to cuddle her and that's fine but I want to be the one who takes care of her etc. But even for him that's not good enough.
*sighh* I'm sorry. Hope every thing works out.
thank you all for your advice.  I really appriciate it.

[De3tiny]

You are not being stupid at all. Don't take this the wrong way but it sounds like they want to steal the baby as soon as you give birth. Your baby should be dressed however you both want it. Your partner should not be the one who calls all the shots. He was not the only one who made the baby he just did the "fun" part. You have the right to have your child with your parents if they are drinking or not. You planned 2 hours and I would spend 2 hours with them it's not fair to you or your parents. I also would have a talk with your partners family because I would not even let my child be alone in the house without being there and them saying you can come too that really sounds like your the third wheel and that's just not right. I would do exactly what you want compromise where you can but don't stop yourself from being who you are and raising your child how you want. Sorry for the rant but that got me going a bit I blame it on the hormones lol have a great day stay strong

[Tricia0818]

Stand your ground!!! Regardless if this is might be their first grandbaby they need to back off!! My husbands family does the same thing & once I put my foot down it stopped and if they start up again I tell them to back off. I will not let someone tell me how to raise my babies!