Help! Father scaredy cat!

[ariafaunahouse]

My boyfriend and I are having a beautiful baby girl! I've told my family and accepted the scolding and thanked the praise. But my boyfriend won't do the same. His family has no idea! Im 21 weeks along and everything is going great besides the obvious. I don't know if Im feeling bad about all of this because it feels like he is ashamed and hiding it or if  I'm just being overly dramatic. To make matters worse he is supposed to be leaving for basic soon and he cant tell them either without being kicked out. His mother hates me too... anybody out there have any clue as to what I can do?

[MamaBear0612]

They can definitely be dense, glad he finally got it together. I think we've all had those moments where we feel like strangling them lol, hopefully he'll do better from here on out.

[ariafaunahouse]

thanks so much, i actually got him to sit down with me and really discuss this. he even read all of the responses here and realized what a jerk he has been. (men are dense sometimes) He is going to tell his mother next weekend when she is in town and then we are both going to sit down with his family and work things out. Thanks so much you guys

[MamaBear0612]

My ex's family flipped when they found out I was pregnant, but he manned up and told them because he knew he had to. They don't hate me or even know me, they're just really, really religious and we're not married so it was a huge deal to them. He actually told them before I told my family, I was waiting to get out of the first trimester. It would really bother me if he was hiding not just me but US like that. There's a baby involved and that's just not fair that he's doing that to the two of you.

I think you should tell his family directly, and get rid of this guy...he's too much of a coward to be a good man, or a good father. And by the way, my ex's family has adjusted and is now excited about our little girl. Whether your boyfriend chooses to be there or not, his family has a right to make that choice as well.

[ariafaunahouse]

we've been together for three years. we have had alot of fights because his family (his mother really) pushes for him to drop me so he hides me alot. when it comes to them. Normally Im ok with it. I understand not wanting to fight with your family. But its gotten to the point where I really do feel like Im just a dirty secret.

[Rachel_croft]

That is true about the air force but only if he had custody of the baby I believe. My sister is in the navy and she could not get into the air force because she was a single mom. How long have you guys been together?! Don't let him get away with not signing that birth certificate.

[hines2009]

Well the issue is not goin to go away. So he mine as well be a man and step up to the plate and tell them whether he like it or not. If he didnt tell them then i would just tell them myself. So what if his mother does not like you, now u are going to b the mother of her grandchild and there will always b a bond there. He cant just not tell everyone. tell him to suck it up!! What is he goin to do when the baby does get here? like the above poster said..surprise everyone??? Im sorry u are havin to deal with this,,but i would give him the ultimatum to tell them or u are goin to!! GOOD LUCK!

[ariafaunahouse]

Apparently the air force will kick out a man in dep if he gets a girl pregnant because that makes him a single parent. He refuses to tell his parents because his family hates me and he told them we werent seeing each other anymore.

[MamaBear0612]

I think 21 weeks is far enough along they should definitely know. What does he expect, you guys will show up with a newborn and they won't make the connection. Jeez, guys sometimes. :/

I'd push the issue, say you think it's past time and even tell him he's starting to make you feel like he's ashamed of you and the baby. Tell him his family deserves to know and if he refuses to, then you will have to. That military story does sound fishy to me too, I'd probably do a google search or two to see if he's lying. If he is, coupled with the fact he's refusing to man up about having a baby, probably not a great sign about this guy.

[Ginger077]

I would put pressure on him to do it right away. The longer he waits The harder it will be for him to tell them. Maybe you could say I'm going to give you a week to inform your family and if you don't I will with or without you. I think I would want to whiteness the conversation so I knew he actually took care of business if he is acting like that. Good luck with the baby and I hope you get your issue resolved soon:) most parents would love a little grand baby, I know it brought my family a little closer when my cousin had her first baby.

[kai0912]

evemtually someone will have to know u will be having the baby at some point i think its better he tells his family now versus when baby is born.... what branch of the service is he going into? ive nevet heard of them kicking a man out due to a baby now some branches mainly usaf wiil not allow a single mother to join but u are going to be primary care taker of tjr child so they shouldnt kick him out....

[trying43]

Why would he be kicked out?  Why wont he tell his family?  Something sounds fishy to me.  His parents have a right to know about their grandchild and as far as no being able to go to basic, not so sure on that either. My friend was 6 months pg when her bf went and they knew and he didn't get kicked out.  I would do a little more questioning and digging to figure out why he wants it to b a big secret.  Good luck