emotional? or would you be upset?

[mrsnelson2010]

So these past few days have been crazy. Hubby got his last check from his previous job late we had post dated a check for the rent on 19th they sent it through the bank first thing yesterday morning which overdrafted our acct. We are out of groceries, i had to throw together rice 1 pack of brown gravy and hamburger meat last night for dinner. Had to fix our toddler oatmeal with no butter no milk and very little sugar. (Im out of everything but mac and cheese pretty much) the room mate was supposed to pay rent last night of course never showed. So hubby deposited part of the check this morning and got out cash so we could get groceries, then he calls me and says "we have $ so stop f***ing worrying about it" i told him he knows how stressed i get the closer it gets to time and he proceeded to yell at me telling me im stressing him the ef out and that if i dont calm down hes gonna stay gone for a few days and that i need to stop stressing because all my job is is keeping the house clean cooking and paying the bills when he brings home the $. Told me to "stop effing worrying about whether this baby has a room or not". Now im crying. :(

[trinibabe69]

wow.. I mean you are going to worry because you have a family to feed and take care off... Does he have a job now? if money is low y don't you try applying for WIC at least for your son, this should help out a bit... but just try and relax...

[mrsnelson2010]

He has a job now. The last job, his boss ran out of work for him (it was oilfield) so he sent him to work for his old boss (where he quit because he found out he lost his license) but he started back with a dollar an hour raise and will get another dollar n hour raise when he gets his license back in june. He gets paid again on friday for the new job. Its been 3 weeks since we had a paycheck which made things super tight. He just doesnt understand why im stressed. He thinks i shouldnt stress about any of it and should be carefree.

[mom22boysexpectinggirl]

My husband does the same thing we live pretty much check to check and I am always upset because I never know how we are going to do everything. I think that they play it off as they are grumpy when they are just as stressed about it and don't have any ideas. My husband does the exact same thing.
Where do you live I know in Canada today we get our Child Tax Credit which helps a little bit.
I wish there was more I could do to help you, I know what it feels like to have no idea what to do because everything costs so much and you don't know how much money or when you will be getting it.
I also don't care what any man says I think it is more stressful to stay at home and figure out how to pay the bills, buy grocery's and then if you need money for other necessities like clothes and stuff and try to figure it out. This is the one thing my husband and I fight about constantly about 1-3 times a week.
I am glad he has a job now and after a few pays you may be caught up enough you may be able to pull ahead but I do know that is hard. My husband works seasonal so he goes a couple months without pays and the bills get behind and we always say we will get caught up when he gets back to work but it never really happens.
I wish you all the luck and it will get better at least for a little while. One thing I have had help is to try not and think about it all the time as it just makes me more stressed I know it is hard but it does help.
Good Luck! I am praying everything gets better for you!

[mrsnelson2010]

Thank you! Thankfully we are almost caught up. Only have to catch up electric next week and our phone bill and we will be completely caught up. But it also feels like everytime we get caught up something else happens and puts us back behind. Its really frustrating but me working is totally out of the question. I have checked the price of daycare/babysitter so i can work and even if i found a full time job by the time i paid for fuel daycare etc we would only bring in an extra 100 a month. So it would be pointless to work. I could make that by detailing tractors at hubbys job and take our toddler with me! (If i detail the company trucks, tractors etc i get what hubby makes an hour and his boss just adds it to hubbys check for however many hours i get in)

[beautifulmomma]

My recommendation is to quit stressing and trust your husband. I am in a similar situation. We are broke living tight not knowing how to pay things and its been very stressful. We both used to stress until we came to an agreement. My husband makes a majority of the money and I work part time, although im home most of the time. I pay bills and I track the money. I simply tell him when to spend and when not to. He has no involvement in bills (by choice) and we are much happier and less stressed. I know its hard cause it used to be the other way, although I recommend you let go and trust. I hope this helps and good luck =)

[trustGodHeWilldoit]

I understand how you feel my husband it's not working since June cause he had an accident while he was working he was getting worker compensation but they stop the payment month+ ago nd money is very tight rite now I'm always worry trying to figure it out how to pay the bills each month the other day my husband was so quiet seating along in the living room nd I ask him if he was feeling ok nd he said he just want to be gone from this earth that's make me feel so bad but I do understand why he felt that way he wants to provide for his family nd he can't rite now so that stress him out so I understand ur husband reaction when he talked to you the way he did I'm not saying that it was right but they as men who are the provider stress out when they can't do what they think they suppose to do that is take care of their family so talk to him nd let him know how you feel nd let him know you understand how he feels about to providing enough for his family at the moment.. Good luck nd hope ur situation gets better soon

[KTowne]

I think it's important to be as positive as you can, and try not to stress, honestly. Are you getting assistance? If not I would look into food stamps until you can get back on your feet, there is no shame in getting help while you're transitioning and the most important thing is that your child has food, and you have food. When we're low on money I try to gently remind my husband that we need this or that, but I don't freak out about it because I know it will just make it worse. My husband gets VERY stressed when money is low because he feels like he's the one taking care of us, and he should be doing a better job. It really does make them feel like failures as fathers/husbands if we make a big deal out of it (as hard as it is not to). If you're not getting food stamps I would really look into it because if it's one less thing to take the stress off from you, and your husband, at least for now, that's all that matters! I think you should talk to him about the way he talked to you, though. Especially being pregnant it's hard for us to not take things to heart, and ask him to think things through before he says them, even if he is mad. I hope it gets better for you!!

[celq6706]

Ur not the only one with financial problems cuz we are in the same boat as well we have five kids and we rent and all that but I always get stressed out about money when times get like this my boyfriend is a welder so when work runs out they do the same thing but this recent time I'm just letting it run its coarse last time I worried so bad my hair was falling out I was in real bad health it got bad....he's just upset because he feels like everything is in his shoulders as the bread winner but what he had to understand is that Ur in it together....

[mrsnelson2010]

No we dont get any kind of assistance now except for medicaid and only my toddler and i are on insurance (mine for pregnancy and hers so she can get to a dr if shes sick shots etc) otherwise we are not on assistance. Once he gets paid on friday everything should be back to normal but going 3 weeks without a check made everything super tight. We could be a lot worse off than we are, as bad as it was before with no income at all. I try not to stress about everything, but the closer it gets the more im reminded that nothing is ready for baby because theres nowhere to set it up we dont have diapers wipes etc. The only thing that was keeping my mind off of everything was planning activities and crafts and doing them with our toddler. And now that im out of everything to do anything with her i have more time to think about stuff. :(

[shellie409]

Im sorry you're going thru that :( im stressing my husband out as well :/ we're living with his parents which used to be cramped but fine but last month it hit the fan between his mother and me so now he's worried im gonna want to go stay with my mom which i dont i want the both of us to move to his dads til we can get on our feet we have a little money and we're only 11 wks so don't have a lot of baby expense worry at the moment but we're both stressed :( i know how the oil field goes :' thats what my family does you worry about his job but the same time worry about him staying safe :/ maybe it would be good to apply for wic to help with the food it doesnt have to be a permanent thing just for a couple months its not like you're not trying its just that things catch up to us every now and then you can inbox me if you like hope things get better

[maybaby19]

If you need cheap ideas for toddler crafts feel free to message me, I worked in a daycare :)

[jwilliams81]

It's taken almost 5 years but I try not to stress anymore either. My husband works seasonal so every winter when there is so much more to pay for he has no income. I work full time make pretty good money and we still live check to check. We focused a lot on paying things off this past summer but didn't get as far as I'd hoped and I'm stressed now cuz I've never had to pay for daycare. Starting in march that's $140/wk I have to find. It never changes best you can do is try to be calm and not argue. Makes things so much easier for you and baby! Good luck