Husband not supporting my emotions anymore..

[LuxRaven]

It seems like now that ny husband doesn't care about my feelings anymore. And whenever he gets irritated at something I do he starts to yell at me, or make me feel like crap. I've tried everything I could to make him happy try to have sex with him more even though it hurts me so much. He just says im making it up to not have sex. Then while he was at work today he decided to get a loan for a house and started to sign stuff with a realtor. He is doing all of this while im on medicaid and are trying to get on snap because we make enough to pay all of our bills and get health insurance.
He just informed me that he has an inheritance that he will be getting next year and that is how he is going to pay off a house for us. I informed him we have to tell the state about this and they will take us off state help. He told me all I do is point out the negative in everything and we wont have to tell the state about his inheritance. That all I ever do is nag about how I hurt and how I feel. Ive looked up and this is basically welfare faud. And I try to support his feelings so much.

And now im looking for some support on here. All the support classes in my city cost over $80 for one session.  And I personally do not have that kind of money.  And I dont have any friends because the end of high school they all just "lost" me on Facebook.

Ive decided that if he doesn't want to hear my feelings,  I just wont talk to him about them anymore.

But I dont know how to not get in trouble with the state with welfare fraud. Can anyone help me?

[AnnieBrooke]

I can see that, but wouldn't he have mentioned this to her by now, if he had been expecting it a while?  Why wait until he signed up with a real-estate agent and was looking at houses and she called him on that?  It doesn't sound like he was trying to surprise her (or he would have said so).

[sheralyn23]

Inheritance doesn't necessarily happen like that. My grandmother died when I was 17 but I wasn't entitled to my inheritance until I was 21 as that is what was stated in her will.

[AnnieBrooke]

He might not be correct about getting an inheritance next year.  Inheritance does not usually take a year; someone dies, and the estate gets probated, and that is it.  So many people have gotten into financial trouble when they count on getting money when someone dies -- people leave their money to charities, to friends, not necessarily to the person next in the family lineup.

So, don't worry about the issue of whether or not he will report the inheritance to the state, yet.  If such an inheritance ever really comes, then seek some legal advice.  You could even call the assistance office from a pay phone and not give your name, and ask them directly.

Regarding getting a loan on a house, be sure you are not on the paperwork if you think there is any chance this will be defaulted.  If you are seriously worried that doing this will run both of you into bankruptcy, that is actually a pretty good reason to get a divorce, so you won't be obliged to cover the house payment simply by virtue of you having been married to him when he incurred the debt.

Frankly, the inheritance story sounds pretty fishy to me, he probably just invented it or embroidered a possibility, to get you off his back.  The fact that he came flashing back after telling it and you poked holes in it, is more characteristic of someone acting defensive about a tale that is full of wishful thinking than it is of someone who is really sure it is true.

I'm sorry you are feeling so poorly, and hope that you two can come to some kind of understanding.

[joceeykittykitty]

I wouldn't risk it. There's consequences, either repaying back, or jail time.

[hinkypunkheid]

You will not be able to accept the money without the government finding out somehow.