Husband or baby

[nattypatel]

If your husband (whom you love more than anything) threatened to leave you if you didn't have an abortion would you:

* the issue is timing and financial constraints and the husband refuses the option of adopting out.

[yoli476]

Bless you, what a hard decision it was for you to make.  Nobody should have put you through that.  I would have a good think about what you want and what he wants!!  Seems like two different things.  It's right their is no good time to have a baby when it comes to finance.  It's always a struggle, but you manage!!!

[anonymous03]

I am so sorry to hear that you terminated your pregnancy. It is a very hard thing to go through, I watched my friend go through it and it's been devastating. When I found out I was pregnant, my now fiance freaked out and pulled away. He didn't ask me to get an abortion or anything, but wasn't supportive either. I always knew that I would never kill my baby, I just couldn't do it. I knew that if he ever asked me to, I would walk away. I love him so much, but would never kill my baby because he can't own up and be responsible for what happened. He contributed and made a baby, so he has to deal with it. You now see who your husband really is and he put you in a horrible situation. If he truly loved you, he would have NEVER done that. Personally, I think you should absolutely get out of this relationship. He could very well do this again the next time you get pregnant. This is a red flag, so don't dismiss this. You hear about these men who kill their pregnant wives because they don't want the baby, and it's a very scary idea. Get out of the relationship now, before it can happen again or something worse happens.

[jade_and_janessas_mommy]

I completely understand your situation.  I have been in a similar one recently myself.  My husband and I had a 5 month old daughter and I found out I was pregnant again.  It appears that sometimes birth control fails.  I probably could have tried harder to take the pill at the same time every day, but I never missed a day, but anyways....

He told me to get an abortion.  I told him that I didn't think I could because I looked at our beautiful daughter every day and the thought of killing an innocent baby made me feel terrible.  He went away to "work on himself" at rehab for 45 days.  I went to see him one Sunday and told him that we would be keeping the new baby and everything would be fine and work out somehow.  He really didn't get angry but he started acting wierd.  I found out a few months later that a few days after I told him I was keeping the baby, he had started sleeping with a woman old enough to be his mother.  He is still having issues with her and it's like he pretends that the new baby isn't coming, he pretends I'm not pregnant, he completely ignores anything that has to do with that.  So now I have an 11 month old and am 6 and a half months pregnant and am filing for divorce.  It makes me sad but I am so glad I made this decision and didn't terminate.  I feel like someday he will have deep regrets about how he handled this whole situation, but I won't.

I am so sorry that you decided to terminate your pregnancy for your husband.  I think it is terrible there are men out there who are supposed to love us that expect us to make that choice.  Since you said you are now seeing your husband for who he really is, why are you so sure you want to continue in the relationship?  I know you made a commitment, and I fully beleive in 'for better or worse' and I absolutely HATE myself for getting divorced, but I also don't think you should stay in a relationship that makes you so unhappy.  Life is too short.  I really wish you the best of luck and I hope your head and heart heal quickly from this experience.  

[Cassandrajane]

I hope you have a pretty good doctor because you're going to need one... So much emotional downpull and regret come from having Abortions. I tried to kill myself! Even though having the baby at the time would have killed me.

I am sorry but if your Husband loves you he wouldn't of made you choose, Yes my boyfriend didnt want the baby at the time, we wasnt together and I was also living in a safe house. But him not wanting it did make it easier for me for my reasons of having one (Being 5 stone). I'd never do it again, and even though I am preg now and a healthy weight, I'd do anything to have my baby back.

You're not in the right relationship and a baby (your child) is WAY more important that some man that said its either you be with me and kill the baby or have the baby a lose me. What makes you SO sure he will not say it again.... and again and again??


You gotta Run...

x

[BTS1022]

I'm with Joy on this one too!! I've been there, done that. I am personally speaking from experience. Hell...My ex husband went from telling me if I got pregnant I'd have to have an abortion, to holding a loaded 9mm pistol to my head WHILE I was pregnant.

I say that it's a definite red flag...

[JoyRenee]

Also ANYONE who threatens you or gives you ultimatums is not someone to spend the rest of your life with. No one would make you choose. I'm sorry this has happened to you. And I think if you want to live a happier life you may need to move on.