OT: Do you agree with or have sex while baby/infant is in the room?

[martikadragoon]

Ok so this question on a debate board on another site of mine got a HUGE discussion going, I'm speaking of probably 100+ replies.

My question is, Are you ok with DTD if your newborn, or infant is in the room?

Do you have an age where you won't do that any longer, like say 1-2 yrs old whenever they become aware of their surroundings enough to wonder/ask "why is daddy doing that to mommy"?

Or are you absolutely against it. TMI maybe but

Me I'm for it, simply because there have been times the mood hit, and TJ was in the room, it was almost bedtime. So I stuck him in his bouncer about 8 feet away from us in front of his favorite TV show for a few min. before bed (He doesn't always watch TV but I let him watch Spongebob, signing times, and mickemouse club).and we DTD.. and one occasion when he was really little, and asleep that we just went to the opposite end of the bed and were quiet/careful not to wake him (no place else to do it in the house... or room other than the floor, lol)


No flaming ppl for this, to each his or her own but I was just curious!

[lavenderinscence]

hmm, a newborn, yes, if and only if they are sleeping and not in direct sight line. any child past a few months of age is out of the question. besides the fact that they won't remember what they are seeing ... don't you have a conscience? I could never be comfortable enough with an older infant or young toddler to do that ... it kind of creeps me out.

[Victoria01]

I guess I'll add my 2 cents too, lol. DS only slept in the same room as us for the first four weeks after he was born, so there was no sex anyway. By the time I was cleared at my 6 week appointment, he was in his own room. I kind of preferred it that way, not to say it's wrong, but I think I would be so worried and distracted that he would wake up I wouldn't be able to relax if he was still in the room. I do believe there needs to be a cutoff age because even before a year old DS was copying and mimicking everything DH and I did.

[30something13]

I would not DTD when my baby was in the room at all. I remember when I had just stopped nursing my son at 6 moths becasue of a problem pregnancy with my daughter. After thet he would look at my boobs and want to play with them like if he sat in his bouncer when I got a bath. After that I never had in in seeing view of me till I was dressed. Children learn what like 73% of what they will know by age 3 so what ever they see thier little brains will remember! WOuldn't want them to hear the beds squeak, noises, etc... IT would jsut be to uncomfortable.I know a 9 month old in foster care who when you asked for a kiss he would stick his tongue out. I just thought it was a baby thing till I learned he could do other things! The mother was a ***** for money and he saw it all if he was awake. He miminced noises too! Very creepy and sad to have seen it. I am not sure how they ever helped that baby as he was to little to learn it was bad for him to do. THis at 9 months mind you.

[worrieddd612]

i see no problem with it. do you remember your parents having sex when you were an infant?? chances are it probably happened around you at some point haha. although it might be kinda strange to ask lol. once they're old enough--which im not sure when this is--then i would have to say you should stop.

[Anh227]

Well when I first had my daughter we were living in a bedroom in a relative's house before we got our own place w/o a crib/bassinet/ etc...so we had no choice but to do the do in the same bed...it was either there or the floor but we did not have much space in the room or many options! I don't feel bad because she was so young and our circumstances weren't in our favor.

[heatherlynn22]

lolol riot that had me cracking up!!!!

god i remember walking in on my mom and her...i think it was the 2nd husband. oh my god.....i had to go to therapy for years! lol. it was the most awful, traumatic thing ever. (and it wasn't even the middle of the night!!!! it was at like 5 or 6!) *shudder*

[Riot_Queen]

Omg I can't believe I missed this poll!!
How LATE am I?! LMAO

Josh n I had to cut it off with doing it infront of her while she was awake and playing just recently when she started walking up to her daddy and smacking him on the foot or the leg or arm.
lmao
It just wasn't working out anymore.
So we keep it to nap times and/or bed time where she can't attack her father! lmao!

I remember, I was about 3 er 4 when this happened.
We were spending the night at my grandmothers for whatever reason, and I woke up in the morning, I slept on the floor, and I looked over and I saw my dad ontop of my mom with a blanket pulled ontop of them halfway.
And I remember asking what they were doing, and my dad told me he was "fixing mommy."
And I was like okay, rolled back over and went back to sleep.
lmao

I had no idea back then, but once I understood what sex really was in my early teens, and I look back n remembered that, I'm thinkin, "Them muh-f*ckers were gittin down! Sick!"
LOL

I would think the cut off date would be before the age of 2 because I remember a few things from when I was a little over 2 when I was in this preschool daycare program.
Some people are capable of remembering things way back when like that.
So I think pretty soon y'all should prolly cut it off to where you don't do it unless he's sleeping.

[LauraB78]

I have never and will never DTD with my child in the room, regardless of age... I personally think it is always to be done in PRIVATE.. Thats my opinion..

[CHOLAAAY]

what if the baby is 2?
from what i'm seeing everyone is saying that 2 is much too old.
but i currently share a room with my child. me and her father still like to DTD but only when she's asleep in her own bed. i understand the mimicing thing but she's NEVER seen anything! we're quiet, we stayed completely covered up and we stop as soon as we hear a peep. i never thought anything of it until i said something to one of my friends and i felt that they reacted to me as if it weren't normal. SOMEONE HELP ME OUT!

[rebekah385]

I usually let my babies sleep in the same room (but different bed) for the first year, I am ok with DTD in the same room if they are sleeping (my kid's are all very sound sleepers) while they still sleep in the same room. I have trouble getting in the mood if the kid's are playing in the other room or in bed, but not sleeping in their rooms, but it does'nt bother my DH at all!.

[luvmybabes]

I have done it... I think it is completley fine and normal until the child is a certian age.I think I did it up until my daughter was almost one after that I didn't because she was starting to talk and be more aware of things..... hey once you have children it is hard to get that time with your husband.

[Trice37]

I have done it and I have two kids .. now there is a limit with me. First he can not be awake...second I never have done it after 18 months..because then he can go in his play pen in another room.  But I say hey you have to be creative when you have kids in the house if we always waited for them to be gone ..we would never do it!  Plus I see it as a beautiful thing .. you are making love with his/her father .. (again without them being aware) but it's still love in the air ...know what I mean?  Anyways .. this is just my oponion  ;)

[durhamjk1]

I would only do it until around 6 months or so - then I think they are too aware of their surroundings.

[justice6920]

Wow! Interesting topic!  I would definitely say YES.....  Noah is now 5 months old and we DTD only if he is sleeping! I dont think I could consitrate (sp) if he was awake.... So we only go at it when he is sleeping or napping.... I would probably say a good cut off age would have to be maybe 11-14 months or so, BUT only when they are sleeping

[Limonada]

I don't believe this is appropriate - at ANY age.  Don't get me wrong....I'm not a prude or anything, but I believe that sex in ITSELF is a normal part of life....NOT doing it in front of a child, even a newborn.

And, not to open up a can of worms, but I don't agree with sleeping in the same room with a child, either - we had DS in our room for the first 2 nights he was home from the hospital and no one got any sleep!! DS did much better when he was in his own room and, going back to the sex thing.....DH and I found more time for intimacy not having him there ;-)

[TazzieMeg]

Only while very small and they are distracted with tv or something. Never in the same bed and would not face the child to view us, the child could be in their bassinet/cot and faced away if needed.. You learn to become quiet when doing the dtd after children..lol

[martikadragoon]

by the way it's interesting how many ppl seem to be interested in this topic here as well! :)

[martikadragoon]

Snejelle~ Yep, I totally understand! :) and that's my view, that if he's able to tell SOMETHING Is going on that might be wierd/not right then I don't want to be doing it with him awake, but up til now he hasn't been showing any signs of being aware of what's going on. When mason is born and cosleeps in our room, we will probably only keep him up til about 9-12mo then start DTD with him in another room. But I don't know how it is to have a "typical" child so it is going to depend on when he starts showing awareness of stuff like that (or other people/children/etc)

[kmcghan]

We had our little one in our room and their own crib up to 5 months and we had no problem with that, however, now if they are away there is just no way they are old enough now to where we can't I have a 4yr and 2 yr old.

[Snejelle]

I'd say yes BUT to a certain age say up to 12/14months. At that age they can really be affected by whats happening to their ma. Like for example when you or your guy is angry or agitated in the room? doesnt your little one feel it in the air? Like when you disagree about something? well when having sex, you really ok with each other but your little one who is growing up might understand it the other way and think that papa is doing something bad to mom!!

[GRose]

For me, the cut off is about 6 months or whenever they can sit up, I would hate to look over and see my baby sitting up watching me and DF DTD. I would also never consider doing it when he is awake, I would feel too guilty....
The most our 2 yo has ever seen us do is kiss and hug, I would never DTD when he is awake, he could wonder in the room at anytime and believe me, he would mimic us.

[tiredbuthappy]

keep in mind- if a baby is old enough to wave bye-bye, give a high-five, or say da-da, then they are old enough to remember, learn, and mimic. my cut-off would be 6 months, and even until then only if the baby is out cold.

[gillianl]

i agree with Chatal21  only unless they are fully asleep i don't think i could go without a sex life after having a child i'd be pulling the hair out of my head lol.  I'm not pregnant or have any children though i long to have them but i don't remeber anything from the baby stage until i was 4 years old so what will they remeber!!!

[Tasia32]

We have done it but only when JT is sleeping and we will stop when he gets older.