Aa
Need to vent
So I just recently found out I'm pregnant. Haven't even had my first dr appt yet. And the father of my child already has 3. He's going thru a divorce. His soon to be ex is a crazy b itch and our finances are hard. He's going to school full time, works full time and now informs me he's going to start EMT classes. I hardly see him as it is and when I do get time on his days off we have his 3 kids, so I don't get much personal time. I just went off on him explaining that all the people on his side think I'm just the greatest for staying with him and I have no stress and I've taken on his kids and what not. Yet I'm still stressed and not seeing him that often makes it worse. I sit at home almost every night by myself for atleast 8 hours after I get home from work. I asked him if he truly thought now was the best time for these classes and he says that after the baby isn't a good time either. I just don't know what to say or do and I'm on this emotional roller coaster and I don't want to get too upset and cause problems with y pregnancy. Can someone just tell me I'm not crazy or I am and just let it be. I don't know what to think. Ps sorry its so long. Just needed to get it out.
This post was exactly as the title suggested. A moment to vent. And I did exactly that. Thank you kimejo for seeing that and letting rock rose see what the point of this forum is. And trust me when I say that yes many decisions that my boyfriend has made in the past effect his present and future. But that does not mean I will allow it to tear us apart. I have many emotions running wild and sometimes need reassured that I'm not crazy just because I have a rip tide of emotions running through me. Every one gives a different perspective on this situation and that is what I was looking for. However I think there are ways to say things that will not come off offensive but rock seems to find a way to make a person feel about an inch tall. (Or at least that's how I felt reading her post) then find out she's 53 and probably isn't even pregnant. I appreciate everyone's advice but when it comes to venting, people don't want to be shot down on the thoughts they are having, rather a point of view maybe they didn't consider. Thank you all for responding to my post. It really has enlightened me on my situation.
go kimejo!
You go Kimejo! My thoughts exactly!!
Flowerchild, the choices of your boyfriend that he made before you came together may still have an impact on his life, and I think that may be the point rockrose is trying to make. But I completely understand you. With the hormones of pregnancy, ever hour you are alone feels like eternity. I hate when my husband is working, and I have a little girl to keep me company!
Rock all due respect but I feel you are just a mean woman sometimes. The women come on this forum for support and you more often then not tear them down. According to her post clearly her bd isn't with his soon to be ex, that they are living together and she sees him just not as much as would like. Let me remind you Rock WE are all pregnant and hormonal women and sometimes we just need to vent and not be torn down by folks like you. It's clear that you are not pregnant and are offering 'advice' and a lot of the times you do give good advice, but honestly I don't post 1/2 of the questions I have for fear of judgement from you!
I didn't indicate he's "still with his wife". In fact, though, he has a wife and three kids, and now a girlfriend who is pregnant.
He's not going to have a lot of time for you, trying to make ends meet, is what I'm saying.
He's not going to have a lot of time for you, trying to make ends meet, is what I'm saying.
You indicated he's still with his wife and that's why I don't see him. But that is far from the truth. And yes that is a complaint but really it's the fact that if he misses work then he misses that pay as well. However I'm realiZing that if this is what he wants to do then I will support him and somehow we will make it financially
flowerchild, your major complaint seemed to be that you don't see him enough.
I only can go by what you write here.
I only can go by what you write here.
He's a man who has been separated for over a year. Please don't act like you know the situation. We live together. I have plenty of opportunity to see him other than the fact that he is a busy man trying to make something of himself.
The father of your baby is a married man, with a wife and three children.
You may not be able to see him as much as you'd like.
You may not be able to see him as much as you'd like.
I will support him in everything he does. And yes studying ahead might help later! Thanks for the pep talk!!
If you are able to take the classes, it's an amazing profession to be in. Even pregnant, you can take them. There are jobs for certified emts in emergency rooms and health care clinics, and they are a great place for mommas to work. At the very least, help him study while he takes the classes. If you eventually get to take them, you will have an edge!
He's telling me the classes are going to be 1-2 days a week for 6 weeks. But he really hasn't received all of the info yet. He's a volunteer fire fighter and the department is sending him to these classes. So he will find out more on Wednesday. And I guess I'm slightly jealous because I was supposed to take the classes too. But now I'm not and he is. I know it's important and will really make a difference as a parent (or atleast I hope) but there seems to be so much going on right now.
As a paramedic who has gone through these classes, I urge him to do them now. My husband started his EMT classes the day after my daughter was born, and having him off for the classes really took a lot of time away from us. How is going to do them? There are a few options. Some schools do two classes a week for a full semester, some do a condensed version that is 3-5 days a week for a short period of time, and there are programs where you can spend a week doing twelve hour days to get certified. Look into your different options together. Also, as a parent, having the EMT training is essential. I wish more parents knew what to do for a head wound or a broken arm, or a Tylenol overdose. This is a wonderful thing or a father to do!
Your welcome doll! You have a keeper
That may have just been the thing I needed to hear. Thank you Gordonbaby
At least you have a man who wants to better himself to be a good provider. You will have your time with him, just be humble.
I get that. But the problem is he will be taking time of work to do these classes and we really need the money. So that's why I'm so upset bc our bills still need paid. I'm just frustrated today I guess. Feeling lonely. Emotional. And overwhelmed.
He's right that after the baby, you will need him more. If he can get his EMT classes done before the baby comes, that would be very helpful.
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