To be or not to be...a SAHM...

[LosingMyMindInGA]

Ok, so the last couple of days I've been home with Gabe becuase he's been sick.  (upper resperatory infection)  It's got me thinking (again) about wanting to be a sahm.  DH and I talked about it awhile back, he was agreeable to it, *I* chose not to becuase a) i love my job and b) I just wasn't sure we could afford it.   Well here I am a few months later considering it again.  Here are the reasons pros and cons I'm toying with:
Cons to quitting my job:
-I have a GREAT job, I love it, i work for great people who are understanding, it's a steady paycheck pays pretty good for around here.
-I would get less adult interaction (i have no friends around here)
-we have a lot less "whatever" money
-if DH and I were to have problems again, I wouldn't have a job to fall back on
-I'm afraid DH is going to fall back to how he was years ago when i was a sahm and tell me that i wasn't contributing my part becuase I wasn't working.  
-if DH were to lose his job or have hours cut we'd be screwed (not that my job would cover the bills by any means but it would be something)

Pros to staying home:
-I would be raising my kids, not someone else (Gabe acts like *I* am the babysitter and his daycare teacher is his mama :(  it breaks my heart)
-I wouldn't have to tell my kids "no I can't come to that function becuase I have to work"
-I would have more time during the day to take care of house work, laundry etc so I could use the evenings and weekends to spend with my family instead of rushing around likea  mad woman
-I would have more time to cook healthy, sit down, family meals instead of scrambling to scrape up some microwaveable junk at 7 at night
-I could finish a number of the "home improvement" projects we've started and just left on the house

I know it looks like the pros should outweight cons becuase it would create a happier, healthier home for my kids....but I can't help but think about the what if's....

I've gone through our budget ...if I quit...that cuts out daycare, a little bit of gas (i'd still have to drive kids to school), and the cost of eating out for lunch, plus work clothes.  On DH's pay we could cover the bills, food, gas, misc, a little savings and have a SMIDGE (like $30-$50 a week) left over for "whatever".  So it would really cut back our "lifestyle" so to speak, not that we live lavishly...but we do eat out a lot...but staying home I would have more time to cook so we could cut that out.  

I'm really torn here.  What would you guys do or have you done?  I've been at this job 3 years and the people I work for have done SOOOO much for me.  They are like a second family to me.  I'd really feel guilty leavin there, but I also feel like my family is suffering from me always being so frantic and never having any extra time.  

[Linzola1]

Im with Joyrenee...I am a stay at home Mom and have been since well I was 24 weeks pregnant!  Julian is 15 months old now and my husband is laid off and we are living off his part time job at a local Jack in the box and partial unemployment! It covers our bills and gives us less than 50 a week for whatever but it is worth it to me! When my husband goes back to work (hes a union communications installer) we will be better off! You will have a lot more time to clip coupons (which there are some great websites to do that from) and find ways to save extra money! I have become pretty good at that!

It sounds to me like your pros def out weigh the cons! Good luck in the choice you make and God Bless

[LosingMyMindInGA]

Yeah, no kidding LOL.  I'm gonna talk to DH when we have a chance.  Right now he's trying to put a new engine in his truck.  But perhaps tonight we can talk. I want to have a budget in black and white for him to see when I do sit down with him though.  The question is how much notice do I give?  I know I'm going to give til ATLEAST Nov. 1st so we can pay off some stuff between now and then.  But 3 weeks notice....or should i give longer?  There is a lot I do at my job that I'm really the ONLY one that knows the stuff.  Should I give a longer notice so they have time to find and train someone or should I just give a shorter notice and tell whoever they find (if they get someone in time) that they can call me and I will help them til they get the hang of it?  I want to start staying home as soon as possible...but at the same time I don't want to leave them in a bind.  (all this provided DH and I agree on this)

[JoyRenee]

Dang girl- your entire paycheck pretty much covers childcare and some major food expenses. You can definitely cut out your check and still be fine. Good luck!

[METSIE]

My mom was a sahm & it was the greatest thing ever growing up.  Having her around 24/7 was amazing.  I am going to be a sahm cause I don't want to miss a thing.  Your family is the most important thing in the world & if they are suffering it is not good.  Yes it might take some adjusting, but I think it would be sooo worth it.  Plus if you need or want a little extra cash it's not like you can 't do some sort of working from home to earn extra income.  There are amillion things out there to do from home. & that way you can be at home & work on your schedule.

[mrspookie]

Well girl you got it then!  I can definitely understand your hesitation because of having a job u like but honey like JoyRenee said, your kids grow up so fast so you have the opportunity to raise them as you want... GO FOR IT!!  I wish you blessings!

[LauraB78]

Can you go part time?