does the age gap between siblings matter

[11yeargap]

Hello, im new to the app.... I have an 11 year old son and im now pregnant with my second child....im so nervous because of the age difference.....I thought I was doing the right thing by waiting so long to try again being as though I had my 1st at such a young age....I now realize that as both children grow older they may very well have nothing in common and wont have much time to get that bonding relationship that all/ most sibblings have.  How can I keep my 11 yr old intrested in his new /only sibbling as long as possible? Or am I over thinking this... Help

[BreymanCoen]

My situation is similar as I am pregnant with my second & my oldest just turned 10. I agree that it will mostly depend on your oldest but for me I have done a lot of talking to him about the baby, fill him in on what my doc says at my appts, heart rate & let him go to my 20 week ultrasound ect. & is very excited for the new baby. I would just involve your child as much as possible with the pregnancy & afterward. Good luck & congratulations!

[MamaBear0612]

My kid brother is 10 years younger, I grew up with an older brother who was 12 when the baby was born, and all of a sudden we had this baby in the house. It's definitely a different type of sibling relationship but we thought our baby bro was the greatest. I don't think you necessarily have to do anything, kids naturally develop the sibling relationships that make sense to them. We were really close when he was a little kid, then I went out of college out of state when he was 8, so by the time I came back he was 20 and we got to work on a different type of adult sibling relationship. I know my mom liked it because after her first two babies :) left the house, she still had my baby bro to spoil. They're still close.

[kennimae92]

You are definitly fine. My oldest sibling from my dads side is over 20 years older than i am and we get along almost better than my closer aged siblings. Ive always felt protected having siblings older than me. It should be fine.

[Littlelala]

i was worried about the same thing. i had my son when i was very young. hes now going to be 9 in June. But he is super excited and always tells me how he cant wait to help out. he is such a caring person so i can not wait until the baby is born to see how he is going to interact with it

[11yeargap]

Thank u guys soooooo much!! your  advice & opinions really helped me lighting up. He is already very proud of his new role as a big brother... Although we dnt know our babys gender, he has already made it clear that it doesnt even matter. he is just soo happy that the time has finally come.... I thank u all so much

[T_soon_2B_mom_of_5]

Just remember there is no rule book on how close or far apart in age kids are, and also their relationship will depend on them, yes they may have points in their live they are distant nut when they are both adults they will be grateful for each other, I have 3 older siblings the youngest of which is about 10 years older then me, while him and I were not close as I was growing up. I did have a very close bond with my other brother that was about 13 users older then I, I also have younger siblings as well, we are all adults now, but I don't think the age matters so much as your oldest feeling involved with the new baby siblings have a unique bond all their own regardless of age difference.

[mrssandefur]

Also make sure you still spend a lot of one on one time with him, weather that's at home where your spouse can help with your newborn, or find a sitter for a couple of hours, go out to eat or to a movie or anything, your spouse should do the same.

[sadies93]

Try talking to your son and ask how he feels. Ask him if he is excited about having a baby sibling. Do not force him to be involved with the baby though because that may cause him to not like the baby. But let him set the pace. Maybe let him go to the gender ultrasound with you and try to keep him involved without forcing him to be. At 11 he is old enough to understand and comprehend that the baby will need alot of attention but he still needs you as well. Just talk to him and ask him questions about the baby. Maybe even let him help pick the babys name. Feeling involved and wanted may make him want to be apart of the babys life more.
All kids react differently he may just get jealous of the baby or he may be the proudest big brother on the face of the earth or he may be proud of being the big brother but he could still get really jealous. Just try keeping him involved without forcing him to be involved and he will more than likely have a really good relationship with the baby.

My sister is 13 years older than i am.

[mrssandefur]

Try having him.help with his sibling. Letting him know that you want/need his help, always talk about how much this new baby is gonna love him so much and look up to him. It'll be hard anyway cause he is about to hit puberty. It all just depends on your son.

[KTowne]

It really depends on your child, it may make them estranged a little, as your 11 yo is going to be interested in different things, however, you didn't do anything wrong, you got to spend all of your time on your 11 yo, and now you'll have plenty of time to spend with your newborn without tending to a toddler, you'll be able to relax and enjoy. I think it's just fine! And you never know, your 11 yo might take BETTER to a baby since he/she is old enough to understand everything. Good luck!!