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abortion

So for the ones who didn't read my previous post.

My ex boyfriend called me and told me that he wasn't ready for a baby and that we aren't financially stable. He said that one opinion is to abort the baby and my Second opinion was to keep the baby but he didn't want anything to do with it. He also said he's been feeling bothered by me and that it's because I'm pregnant and that he wishes that we can go back to how things were before I got pregnant.

So I decided that I didn't want anything to do with him. I told him that I love my baby and that it's not something you can kill and get over with it and he said well liz then keep it, you're on your own. So I told him that he's gonna pay child support and he was like well I won't give up my DNA test. So I told him, that he had to because the court orders it and if he doesn't give it hell go to jail.

Then he said that he spoke to a lawyer and he'll take me to court and say that he wants no rights to my baby. So he wouldn't pay child support. So I called a lawyer and she told me that he can't do that. Anyways sorry for the pity story but I don't know what to do. I don't want to deal with this jer but if I keep the baby I'll have to.
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9987928 tn?1407887995
He can throw away his rights but not responsibilities.... If that's how he wants it, you'll get his help financially and not even have to deal with his nonsense.... He would have no say so over your baby, you guys wouldn't even have to communicate on any level.... But hopefully he's just scared and change the way he's feeling so your baby will be able to know both it's parents.... Good luck girl, with what ever the come is.... just know that there's single mothers out there handling their business every day, to be God be the glory, you can do it too.... oh and congratulations on your pregnancy....
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
He would have to have your permission, and someone non related (as another woman said, you would have to be married to a different man for example, who was willing to accept his rights and adopt the baby)..

He can't just simply sign his rights away to you.. Or just sign them away to "no one".. Any judge would tell both of you that it takes two to make a baby, and a village to raise one. It would NEVER be granted by a court for one person to have full financial responsibility of any child.

I'm in a somewhat similar situation myself and have looked into this a ton because of very similar threats from my child's father. I live in utah, so I'm sure some of the information will vary in your state (though we are a more father friendly state now days), but when I spoke to a police officer about what he can legally do as far as his rights go, plus some other threats he was making towards myself and my baby, the officer told me what I said above about what would need to take place in order for him to sign his rights away. Also, he told me flat out "if he doesn't want to pursue his physical rights to that baby, then so be it. No one can force him to be a man and see his child. However, the state can and will force him to help financially support that child. Whether he likes it or not, he has financial obligations to not only that baby but to YOU as well. And he will never be able to escape those responsibilities." I contacted a lawyer and asked the same questions, told the whole story, and got the same response from the lawyer.

If he wants to run from physical contact, fine. But he's crazy thinking he can run from his other legal obligations to you guys.

Also, I would ask ORS in your state, but in utah we have a "3 strike and your out" type law. What that is, is once you fill out the affidavit saying you believe he's the father, they will serve him with papers for paternity testing. These papers will essentially say he is being accused of being so-and-so's father. It will have a date and a time that he needs to go in to have his picture taken and his mouth swabbed. You will also receive a date and time that you and baby will have to go in to have your picture taken and mouths swabbed as well. If the alleged father misses his appointment (strike one) they will schedule another one and inform him of the new date and time. If he misses this one it's strike two. They will schedule ONE more appointment. If he misses this one (strike three) he is automatically deemed as the child's father whether he actually is or not, and is now legally and financially responsible for this child. At that time they WILL start taking child support from him.
For me, I thank god for this law because of baby's fathers who act like both of ours.. It takes away the option to just simply run and get away from it.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
There's no way he can do that. Otherwise way more guys could get out of it. He's the father, he got you pregnant, he would have to pay.
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Avatar universal
He didn't talk to a lawyer then lol he's obviously lying because a lawyer would tell him just do it and set it up on your own cause if he takes you to court about it the judge will decide how much he needs to pay!
Helpful - 0
10084709 tn?1407712389
There's light at the end of your tunnel :)
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Avatar universal
My husband didn't want our son but I told him it was either me and our baby or I'm gone for good and you will never see your child after he said he didn't want me to have him I was18 and he was 18 at the time ( I had all ready miscarried to him the year before ) he decided to stick by me after a few hard months of him getting used to he is ganna be a daddy when he was scan for first time he cryed n was over the moon now look at us :) we have a 3 and half year old son married over a year and our daughter due in 33 days I'm now 22 and he has just turned 23 today :) we couldn't be happier

My point is he maybe scared about the baby see if he comes round if he loves you enough he will

Xx
Helpful - 0
9571159 tn?1419571005
He needs to grow up! I'm sorry you're going thru this.
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4163555 tn?1408028522
Well congratulations on your pregnancy despite the baby daddy drama. God blessed you with this baby for a reason and he knows how much you're able to handle so keeping your baby and staying strong will help u grow as a person and be the best mommy to your baby:) i hope that everything works out for you girl, and we're all here to support each other throughout our pregnancy experience:)
Helpful - 0
8464451 tn?1409883976
Good for you for keeping that precious baby!
Best decision you could've made .
As for him , he HAS to pay for child support no matter what , you can't reLly escape that .
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
He's still gonna have to pay child support lol silly him. Congratulations on your pregnancy!  :)
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Avatar universal
You're amazing for keeping your child!!!!! Very smart woman(:
Helpful - 0
9797462 tn?1410751678
Good for you for standing up for yourself and your unborn child without a voice.  Way to follow through! :) Good luck on your journey, mama. There are lots of ppl going through what you are. You're not alone. <3
Helpful - 0
2026433 tn?1337650833
As long as he's paying child support he has a right to his child. If you don't wanna deal with him then don't. Keep him off the birth certificate and don't involve him in anything. Wish I would've done that. Now I'm stuck with this guy 2 kids later and trying to start over just to get myself my 2 year old and my unborn away from him.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
If you want ur baby that's all that matters , trust the court system will make him pay . Or he can just be someone B#$@% in jail . That's up to him
Helpful - 0
9768750 tn?1406394610
In my state he can't give up his rights unless you've been married for a year and your husband is willing to adopt the child.
Helpful - 0
8924846 tn?1410572901
That's ridiculous he's just making excuses. Its understandable he's scared but hr needs to take responsibility
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
This so hard because I didn't want to get pregnant in the first place and he did, but now I love my baby and doesn't
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
He can't sign his rights over unless you say it's okay. So if you want to get child support their is nothing he can do about it. The father of my baby said the same thing, but I don't want to have to deal with it so I'm letting him sign them over.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
If he's the father,  he has to pay. Giving up his rights means that he's not going to get any custody or visitation but he still has to give you money each month.
Helpful - 0
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