i think my hubby n me are done!! i think im single?

[flowerbombnelly]

So as some of u may kno my pregnancy has not been easy .. its had obstacles that i had to adjust too .. like for instense not being at home with my son n hubby n living in this dang hospital .. so on and so forth! So my hubby n i haven't been seeing eye to eye lately hes like always insulting me n makin faces n im over it i cant take his shhiiitT im overly stressed w/ my own pregnancy to b stressed over hes behavior . My son is not hes child my son has been recently moved in w/ my mom cus our fights have gotten outa hand .. ladies i honestly need advice ! Im really fed up wit this n i kno how it is to b a single mom i done it before n im not scared but i really wanted to give my son a family n have his father around n have things diffrent compared to my first childs life but i canT have it all that pefect pic is never perfect n if it is its not only 1wrkin at it .im stuck in this hospital but today i had enough i told my husband to get out my home n my dad told me he actually is packin n is guna leave tomarro mornin .. i really dont care cus hes insluts have gotten bad . N im a woman with values lots of them n i demand respect idc if we are married n havin a child respect shud nvr b out of the pic .. ! Im not a average 22 yr old i litteraly think n respond as a older person . But just this once i dont kno how to react to it i dont feel like crying cus i feel a great wheight off my shoulders cus the insluts will stop .. but im not so happy to have another baby with out a father . I talked to my dr n he advised me to stay calm n give it time . I told him i kno i gotta b here for the sake of my unborn but i need to b home now for my son .. hes discharging me tomarro ! N my hubby is guna file for devorce tomarro .. im numb to it all n find him selffish .. n i dont c me wrkin it out with him cus he showed me a diffrent man im not into .. n im discusstd by him rite now i cant look at him or talk to him .. idk i need advice maybe im rong .. but its just the whole respect is gone and without that what hope shud i carry in my heart .. idk help

[flowerbombnelly]

I didnt file for it he did.... And hes moved onn ... after one night .. its killin me but i cant let this kill me after tonight ill b ok tomorrow

[householder19]

I also don't think you should jump to divorce. You're married! He's not just another guy, it's a marriage, know one ever said it would be easy, you'll have your ups and downs, you just have to try and make it work. I myself don't believe in divorce at all.. you made a vow not only to each other but to god. Even if you got a divorce in gods eyes you'd still be married.

[JLewis12]

Omg Carloswife cudnt have said it better ..  I also am a Christian wife nd I live my marriage according to Gods way ... But it wasn't always like that whn we 1st got married I wanted to be in charge nd I wanted his up most respect and our marriage was on a verge of divorce before I realized my place as a wife nd a Godly wife ... Most of the negative advice u get is frm women who r not married so they dnt understand the meaning of a marriage we r supose to worship our husband as we wud God in return he is supose to cherish us as his wife as he wud the church a woman's place is not above the man he is the head of our household ... I'm very protective of my marriage ur husband comes before all nd behind God ... I think u guys need marriage counceling or bible study to learn his role as a husband nd ur role as wife ... Best of luck to u

[carloswife]

Thank u Kaity07 my thaughts exactly.A womans first option should never be to leave.That i can do bad all by myself mentality only last for a season.Truth is u loved that man when u married him and exchanged those vows.U said for better or worst.Well when its worst u have to work at it not walk away.A marraige is something to fight for,and if u dont want to put forth any effort then why get married.It upsets me when i see people really going through it and the advice they get is the completr opposite of what they REALLY need to hear.Your husband had his own baggage when u married him,so did u.You the two of u became one flesh u took on his load and he took on yours and that means more problems to deal with,but it dosent mean the problems will never go away.I was a single mom before my husband and i got married he's an awesome stepfather and a great husband.Theres times he hits below the belt,but im guilty of that to.One thing i learned serving Gos is that we women demand so much respect from our husbands yet we are the weaker vessles.We are to respect our husbands and they are to honor us.I dont run my home,my husband does because he is the head of the house.Its the way it ought to be run.I have my place as a wife and mother,n yes i do have a say so in things but i should not overstep him as his wife.U have to remember that u are both human and emotional himan beings.Men deal with their emotion differently.If we only focus on the problem we wont see the bigger picture.I know if it were me id probably look at the situation differently.Maybe u not being home hit him hard.As a husband,they want to provide for us,take care of us,and feel useful.U being in the hospital may have made him feel useless,he cant help u in any way,dosent know what to do,and on top of that he goes home to an empty bed and cant be with his wife or rub your belly,talk to baby.He's left to tend to the house because u arent there,most things he probably dosent know how to do because its not in his nature to do it like women do,and im sure your son wants u home and misses mommy and that adds to the emotional stress.While your away he's probably had NO time to release this stress so by the time he sees u he pours it out on u and hurts u rather than embracing u the way he's wanted to the whole time.Its those moments where we have to stop and think before we respond,consider the possibility that his intensions were not to hurt u purposely and choose your response wisley.U cant put a fire out with gasoline.One ofu has to choose to be the water.And that may make u feel like your doing all the work,but it works.What u put into your marraige results in what u get out of it.My husband and i went through a rough patch early in our marraige.I come from a background of abuse and neglect so i had a hard time trusting my husband.I was always so defensive,and it took work to get to where we are today.My husband cant read my mind,so i have to communicate with him.More often than i want to but if he's gonna help me the way i need him to i have to tell him what i need and keep it straight forward,not speak between the lines as we women like to do.We storm around the house mad,give them no acknowledgement and expect them to figure us out.THEY DONT KNOW and then we get mad cuz they dont have the right answer to the problem when WE are the problem because we dont communicate well.Im honost with myself more often than not,and regardless of what he does or how he treats me at times im responsible for how i react and i cant expect my husband to change and think that im ok n i dont have to.See we women can get very prideful if we get honost and we want to be right all the time.We may not say it butwe sure do think it.Nd ive llearned to except the fact that sometimes i am wrong and my husband is right.And when he's wrong i shouldnt throw it in his face but give him a chance to correct it on his own.I cant tell my husbnd how to be a husband or how to be a man.Im a wife,im a woman,made differently than he is,i think differently and i just dont opperate like him so therefore i cannot FIX him i must except the way he is and work through the things i dont like.Truth is there are some things about our husbands that in time can be changed,but most of the things we really cant stand will NEVER change and thats just truth.There are traits,characyeristics that God has put in every man that will always be there,usually its the things we hate,but theyre made that way to bring a balance in things we lack.Same way we bring a balance to the things they lack.Marraige is a partnership,it takes team work.U cant be selfish in a marraige because its no longer about you.Its about us,and we,and our.When u make an effort to put your husbands needs before your own it makes alot of difference.Challenging,but possible.So talk it out,work ot out,settle your differences,give each other a chance to express feelings without cutting each other off.No criticism,no defense.Listen to each other,i mean really listen.Youll be surprised to see what little problem you had.

[kaity07]

i think that you should wait before filing for divorce. get away from each other for a while maybe things will get better.... me and my husband went through bad times too... he was abusive physically and emotionally, but with our sons he was a great father, I was so happy with that, but at the same time he was always mean to me and very rude... but with time he changed, now he is a great man, I cant wait till he comes home from work just so we can sit and talk, and now we have our third child due in july... so I think that you should give it some time, sometimes everything gets worked out just by giving each other space...

[teregarcalva]

You can do it all on your own hun it may be hard but I know your kids will give you the strength and motivation you need to pull through all of this with a smile on your face. If he wants to walk away let him it's his loss. Your hospitalized for a reason not just because your being lazy and selfish and he needs to understand that and if he can't then he's got to be pretty stupid (no offense) my mom was a single mom and she struggled but she always insured there was a roof over our head and our bellies were full and that's all that matters. Single mom's are the strongest kind of woman out there and I have the utmostrespect in the world for them. If he does snap back into reality and realize how dumb he's being make him remember not to ever disrespect you or put you down ever again. Good luck hun

[elyandpeanut]

It may be harder but it'll be double the reward to know that you provided for your babies without a man. Plus we have to teach our babies that even through rough times life goes on and we have to pull through. My respects to all the single mommies out there and i really do wish you the very best to you and your little family :)

[flowerbombnelly]

Yea both u ladies are right .. without the respect .. what is there to expect? Im not expecting him to kiss the ground i step on n to kiss n wipe my a$$ i just wish hed understand a lil more in what im doing for our son but he sees it as me not wanting to be home n makin up excuses  . I called him n he said we have nothin more to tlk about that he will go his way n i will mine n we r done .. im dispointed but like u said i rather b alone n do bad instead of havin someone carry me down over insluts n bad company .. i guess i answered my own question ... im am single n i will b ok ... as a mother for both my babies ..

[teregarcalva]

I agree that no matter what respect should never be compromised and if he isn't giving it to you then he needs to work on it. If he was willing to get up and leave that easily then just that alone says a lot hun. If he does file for divorce then that says a lot more. It's better being a single mom and having your children is a healthy environment than to have them in a household where there is lack of respect and fighting. Better to be alone and miserable than with company and miserable. Give it time and maybe it'll work itself out and if not then you got your own back and your children. Keep your head up love.

[elyandpeanut]

A relationship without respect is never good.. especially if you're pregnant and in the hospital!!! He should be babying you! But all i can say is that everything happens for a reason. Maybe this is what it takes for him to learn to appreciate what he has. Regardless of anything keep your head up and keep yourself and your baby healthy. Best of wishes!