Aa
No father figure around
Ever since I found out I was pregnant the father of my child hasn't spoken to me. Answered my calls or texts. I have even resorted to trying Facebook and still nothing. I send him texts updates after every appointment just to do my part but I'm still worries about doing this on my own. I wish he would step up. This was a complete unplanned pregnancy and he has 2 kids already and I don't think he even cares about my child. I'm 19 weeks. Is there any other mommas out there who have been through this?
I'm only 20 and this was not what I wanted and I'm worried ill disappoint my child because the father is not around
I'm only 20 and this was not what I wanted and I'm worried ill disappoint my child because the father is not around
My bd was so excited when I got pregnant and then he turned literally into a huge a$$hole. He got abusive towards everyone and now he's in jail and I'm almost 17 and I'm scared to death to do this alone but I cant have someone who hurts me and will most likely hurt my son. Its super hard but I'm just glad I have a good support system and a greatmother to is wollowilling to help til I can doing completely on my own.
So sorry this happened to you!! But you will find another guy who will actually love you and you're child. I look at him and think how could you hide for almost a year you weren't abusive then you turn around and become one when I'm pregnant? But its whatever. Hang in there :)
So sorry this happened to you!! But you will find another guy who will actually love you and you're child. I look at him and think how could you hide for almost a year you weren't abusive then you turn around and become one when I'm pregnant? But its whatever. Hang in there :)
I'm 13 weeks pregnant. My baby's daddy left me when I was 11 weeks. I was friends with him for 4 years and we were only together 2 months when I found out. At first he was like oh I'm not going to be a dead beat etc. Now I text him about ultrasounds and even gave him my new number if he wanted to contact me to ask about his baby. But no he completely ignores me so I did my part I'm no longer testing him or contacting him. The way I see it If they want to know about there kid they'll ask first. We shouldn't waste ouor time or give them the satisfaction to know we care. They obviously don't. Also just means I don't have to share my baby with an *******. I get my baby all to myself :)
I was 16 when I got pregant and I thought I had someone that would stick by me but he made excuses and left me to deal with everything on my own. I don't know were he went or what happend to him and honestly I new I had grow up and take care of my baby and I did. It makes you stronger.
It wasn't until she was about a year and a half that I met the love of my life my husband now. And she knows him as daddy no one else and I'm going to keep it that way until she's old enough to understand.
Also it wasn't until she was this age that some how he got my number and called me out of no were. Talking about the spurm doner. Anyway I agreed to let him see her once. He didn't think she was his by the way and he had the nerv to say if I didn't want her I could always give her to him. I was your kidding right u weren't therr when she was born! Anyway he called for like a week then haven't heard from him sense. Shes 7 now. And I'm glad he's not on her birth certificate cuz he don't deserve to even see her. I didn't need anything from him and I didn't want it. But u do what u have to to take care of ur baby and one day the right guy will come along and it will be the best thing for both of u.
It wasn't until she was about a year and a half that I met the love of my life my husband now. And she knows him as daddy no one else and I'm going to keep it that way until she's old enough to understand.
Also it wasn't until she was this age that some how he got my number and called me out of no were. Talking about the spurm doner. Anyway I agreed to let him see her once. He didn't think she was his by the way and he had the nerv to say if I didn't want her I could always give her to him. I was your kidding right u weren't therr when she was born! Anyway he called for like a week then haven't heard from him sense. Shes 7 now. And I'm glad he's not on her birth certificate cuz he don't deserve to even see her. I didn't need anything from him and I didn't want it. But u do what u have to to take care of ur baby and one day the right guy will come along and it will be the best thing for both of u.
I am 22 yrs old and got pregnant wen I was just fifteen. I kno wat it feels like to be alone. My situation was a little different but the father was absent for the first 3 or 4 years of her life. Not by choice jst some issues but I still had some resentment towards him but I was like u. Trying to do my part and letting her talk to him on the phone. Sent pics. Never talked bad about him nor let anyone so it in front of her. And u kno that's all we can do. A good mom isn't going to have her baby hate her dad because as ur baby grows he or she will kno who's around and who's not. They will know wat kind of "dad" he really is. As long as your always there to love that baby that is all that matters. My daughter is now six years old and we are doing great. The storm will pass and you will learn u don't need a man like that in your life to help you because odds are, he'll do the exact opposite. Take care
Ive been alone this whole time and I would rather it be like that. Sometimes I get down because I am so lonely but sometimes its better to be alone. I am 17 weeks and my childs father likes to tell people it isnt his baby and you know what? He is right, this isnt his baby, this is MY baby. If he wants to miss out on something so precious, let him. He ovbiously isnt worth the time of day anyways.
I'm 19 and my boyfriend was excited when he found out I was pregnant and then when he moved.back home which is in aanother state he stopped talking to me and started sleeping around now he has another girlfriend and doesn't want anything to do with me or our baby I am 33 weeks and 4days.. he already has one child that he never sees and does not pay child support... I love him so much and want him to step up to be there for my daughter but if not then I am going to court and he is paying child support because I can't pay for everything on my own. I am going to be the best mom I can be for my daughter that's all I can do
That's really low of the father. The father of my child got a gf right after I found out.
Lots of thoughts -- let's see if I can sort it out.
First of all, your child will not be disappointed if his father is not around, for at least a long while, and he or she will take his cue entirely from YOU. If you are offering a contented life and a smile on your face, the child will not be looking around in a heartbreaking way and saying "What happened to daddy? Where is he?" except possibly if you role model that same attitude. Then the child might learn to say it.
My sister often puts emotions onto her kids that are really her emotions, but not recognized. Please sort out, before the baby comes, your own feelings of disappointment about not having this man step up. I am so sorry that it turned out this way, but now you have something better to think of and to look forward to. If the guy is a flake, you see him in court, but don't sit around mourning. An irresponsible man is not a man, he is a boy.
Speaking of court, it is time to find out what you need to do to establish paternity when the baby comes and file for child support. Unless, of course, you don't need the help and would rather not have the dad in the baby's life. But I would re-think that because of the possibility that who the child WILL have in his or her life and really enjoy, is your deadbeat's mother or other extended family. Guys who are trying to shirk their responsibilities do sometimes come with pretty nice families who want to know their cousin, grandchild, nephew.
Put your energy into getting your own life built, the one where you stand on your own two feet and learn to make yourself happy, with your child. Get your job together, you schooling, your plans, your apartment, your insurance, everything. You'll be too busy to hang around wistfully on your jerk's Facebook page.
Finally, one thing people always say to women who are 20 and breaking up with someone is that there will be a better guy come along. And that is doubtless true. But I want to caution you. There is a kind of guy who likes to prey on single mothers because the women are very worried about support, and they want to abuse their kids sexually. Be very, very cautious about who you let into your world. You will have a little life to protect from now until he is grown.
First of all, your child will not be disappointed if his father is not around, for at least a long while, and he or she will take his cue entirely from YOU. If you are offering a contented life and a smile on your face, the child will not be looking around in a heartbreaking way and saying "What happened to daddy? Where is he?" except possibly if you role model that same attitude. Then the child might learn to say it.
My sister often puts emotions onto her kids that are really her emotions, but not recognized. Please sort out, before the baby comes, your own feelings of disappointment about not having this man step up. I am so sorry that it turned out this way, but now you have something better to think of and to look forward to. If the guy is a flake, you see him in court, but don't sit around mourning. An irresponsible man is not a man, he is a boy.
Speaking of court, it is time to find out what you need to do to establish paternity when the baby comes and file for child support. Unless, of course, you don't need the help and would rather not have the dad in the baby's life. But I would re-think that because of the possibility that who the child WILL have in his or her life and really enjoy, is your deadbeat's mother or other extended family. Guys who are trying to shirk their responsibilities do sometimes come with pretty nice families who want to know their cousin, grandchild, nephew.
Put your energy into getting your own life built, the one where you stand on your own two feet and learn to make yourself happy, with your child. Get your job together, you schooling, your plans, your apartment, your insurance, everything. You'll be too busy to hang around wistfully on your jerk's Facebook page.
Finally, one thing people always say to women who are 20 and breaking up with someone is that there will be a better guy come along. And that is doubtless true. But I want to caution you. There is a kind of guy who likes to prey on single mothers because the women are very worried about support, and they want to abuse their kids sexually. Be very, very cautious about who you let into your world. You will have a little life to protect from now until he is grown.
I know where youre coming from.. He has been telling the girls hes chatting up the baby isnt his and i flirt with all these boys while i was pregnant trying to make me look bad just so he can keep talking to the girl. It disgusts me, so not worth it!!
I'm sorry that has all happened to you. Although you have a point that someone better will come around. I wish he would at least acknowledge the fact he has another child. And not just blow it off. He is a grown man and still hasn't stepped up.
Im 17 years old and me and my bf/bd broke up 2 weeks ago. Im 38 weeks tomorrow. He was really abusive and I dont even know why i stuck around so long. Im doing it alone, i pretty much felt alone the whole pregnancy anyway, he never bought a thing and would only come to appointments if i dragged him down.. ive gone the last 2 weeks not speaking to him at all, im sad because my baby will never have his biological father around too watch him grow up, but why would i want him to watch his father be an absolute a$$ hole to me? He will grow up thinking its normal. Thats what happened to my ex, grew up watching his mums boyfriends beat the crap out of her and abuse her verbally, thats why i think he is like the way he is.. Just waiting for someone that is mature and will treat my son and myself right!
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