seriously lost..

[canbpink]

Need some help seriously don't know what to do, my boyfriend and I just went through a very very bad few months and he cheated on me, the day he told me that he did that morning we had sex and he came in me (leadding to me getting pregnant) because he told me he thought it was the last time he was ever going to be with me. So anyways I started taking antidepressants and they were helping but I came off them as soon as I found out I was pregnant, So I was.arguing with him about I'm tried of him going out and drinking 4 times a week with his friends and we ended up getting into a huge fight he told me he is going to do what ever he wants and that's it, So I told him if that's the Case we are not ready for a second child and I don't know if we should go through with this pregnancy, So now he is telling me he hates me and the only reason he is with me is because of our other daughter and if she wasn't here he be gone.. So now I don't know what to do, stay hope that he might change have this baby, or break up and not have this baby cause if I go through with it he will never stay with me if I end the pregnancy....  and he is telling me the last few weeks I've been So horrible to be around, but he doesn't realize I stopped taking my antidepressant and right now I need him more than ever and that having a second child our lives will change

[elivya]

Thats a pretty tough situation. Me and my partner have given up 2 of our kids because we werent ready for a second. Seeing as you were already on antidepressants it is a really tough decision to make and its something you can never get over, its a decision to make if you can live with the fact that you let your child go, you have to know your doing the right thing and feel good about your decision, otherwise its going to cause much more depression. I feel like we made the right choice to let our babies go, I felt that was the best life for them. There isnt a day that goes by though that I know I failed my children and I took fher life right from them but then again I gave them life, a life I could never of given them here. If you chose to let this baby go, really think about how your going to handle it, and what is the best life for your child. You need to put yours andyour partners issues aside and really talk and tthink about what kind of life your giving your daughter and what kind of life you wish to give your unborn child. We gave our babies the best life by terminating my pregnancies, others may read this and feel sick to hear me say that but they cant say what was best for my kids. I dont have any advice onyour relationship with ur partner, but I hope I helped a little with the life of your baby. Best wishes to you, any choice you make know that your doing your best. My true advice is though, if you can handle yourself another child and you want another, id go ahead with baby cause I think having the same father to your children would be best even if he isnt present in their lifes. Thats my opionion.

[teregarcalva]

I'm going to be blunt and I hope you don't take this the wrong way. I believe in my opinion that the life of your unborn child should depend on if he stays or not. Would you give your daughter away if he left? I don't think you would. It's not the babies fault that you guys are in the situation your in. He cheated on you and that's his fault and the fact that he came in you with the mentality that it would be the last time is extremely selfish of him because if you have one kid he had to have known he was taking a risk that he would get you pregnant. Now what you decide to do about your unborn is you decison but think about it this way would you have aborted your child or given her up for adoption if he left the first time? There's a lot of single moms out there who do everything to support there kids so I know you could do it as well. Don't let your childs life depend on him because he may leave but what if he came back? What if he matures? Trust me when I say it will kill you everyday to know a baby you were supposed to have is no longer there because of a choice you made. Think about it hard before you do anything.

[proudFTMTeTe]

In my opinion u don't end a pregnancy because the man doesn't want to be in your life! U are a mother n u do wat u have to do to take care of your kids rather u are doing it with or without him the kids did not ask to be here! N u never give a man that much power over u if he ain't ready to grow up o well his lost but u have a blessing growing inside of u n I don't think u should terminate just cuz the father is being a dumb a$$ n doesn't want to be with you...just my opinion

[YoungLadyDay14]

I would 1st try to address things one at a time. Whether ur on ur antidepressants or not his words and actions are disrespectful and u deserve more than that. That's not a healthy environment. If you stay both of u need to sit down and get help. 2nd he should not be the reason u don't keep ur baby or vice versa. You are the only one that needs to make that decision bcuz u will have to live with it. 3rd I would be honest & frank with him he should know that ur not on ur meds. Choose times that ur not arguing to discuss these matters honestly & openly. I wish u well!

[MamaJanes14]

I'm sorry to be blunt. But he is not going to change. If he didn't change after one child, two certainly isn't going to do any better. You deserve better everything. You need someone who will love you, make you feel comfortable, support you and never have seconds thoughts.

[Amy1830]

He has some nerve saying you're hard to be around after he just cheated on you. And for you to worry that he will never come back if you end yor pregnancy? I would not base any decision on him wanting to stay or leave. Even though I know it would prob be the hardest thing in the world, it would probably be best if he didn't come back. He sounds very selfish and like he is able to make you feel guilty about things that are his fault. Nobody can really say what you should do as far as keeping the baby or not. That's a personal decision but one that everyone likes to judge. I raised one child by myself for 6 years before I met my fiancé. Since I got pregnant all we do is argue and at one point we were going to break up and I kept thinking how hard it was to work and take care and raise my son alone, pay for daycare and food and everything. I couldn't imagine doing it for two. But we planned this baby so in y case I wouldn't have felt right getting an abortion. In your case, your bf decided not to pull out on purpose without your permission so I think your situation is different. Either way, things will work out. They always do. If you look back at your life, anyone's life, I think there are at least a few moments where we thought life could not get any worse and there was no way out, but now those moments are memories and we did make it through. You will too! Xo

[bre1724]

This may sound rude but it is not you unborn child's fault you let him stick it in you. you have the power to say put a condom on. Now I get you didnt know but still when I first got pregnant me and my boyfriend had such bad fights (cop would be called) because he thought I cheated because he couldn't have kids I told him your in this kids life or not disided now. Don't take it outta on you baby

[unique21m]

I'm going through the same things! I'm off my antidepressants and insomnia meds...and it effects me. I used to be an extreme cutter of the tips of my wrist..I find myself wanting to go back to that one thing that comforted me every time me and my boy friend argue.. He yell at me for dumb stuff like asking if he isok when he is in the bathroom for a very long time... I cane from a family that makes sure each other is safe and OK. These last two days I been forgetting things: we were next door at his parents for a little while and then I got sleepy so he gave me the keys to unlock the door. I took a bath then layed down ...hours went by n he asked if I was going with him to drop off rentals, I said I'd love to..so I jump out the bed and get dressed quickly. He had his key to the vehicle but used the car starter...I had for got about the keys on the table because I rushed out and the he had left his parents and got in the truck. I got in he said hand me the keys...I said I made a mistake"and ledtleft them on the table...he got out and got the spare from his parents.  He was so mean and furious! He cursed me out! "You always making a mistake..." I just cried.he always makes me cry. ( Another thing is he doesn't want to ever be intimate any more.) I have no proof he cheating at all though.  I'm in a big bug just like you! I need just as much help...by the way he is 42 and I'm 20...I think he just wants me to be a trained house pet! He trays that mind control crap all day every. It ***** but I just hang in there because I'm 20weeks preg. I made a huge mistake. My life *****...no friends family or destinations! Just him....I'm ready to just leave but what to do with the son I carry?

[proudFTMTeTe]

Okay I understand when u love someone its hard to let go but if a man can't respect u n makes u feel so little U LEAVE HIS A$$ point blank period we as woman are made to be strong fighters we do NOT need a man to survive or to raise our children u make him feel.lucky to have u n if he can't respect u or appreciate u then u get up n leave n take care of your kids by yourself u don't need some one in your life that's not going to make u happy n if u leave u take your child n raise him alone if your child's father doesn't want to be apart of that o well his lost but never let a man have so much power or control over u once they see your weakness they won't change n it will only get worse!