Need Advice!!!! Please Help!

[FirstTymeMommii]

So I am 26+1 weeks and I am having a hard time understanding my boyfriend of 9mths. Our daughter was definitely a surprise for us, as in not planned, but I am really glad she is here! Anywho for those who aren't aware of my story, I conceived back in March and found out for the first time in May! Anywho after telling my boyfriend about the baby he was stuck on abortion. He did not want the baby at all.. but after a previous abortion, which was terminated at 6weeks, painful and left me bleeding for two months, I was too terrified to have another. Doctors were surprised I could even get pregnant and carry this long. Anywho from about the time we found out (2.5mths) up until I'll say the 4th month we went through hell and back. After that period of dislike I thought he was finally coming around. He rubs my tummy, talked to and about our baby, say things like when she get here he is going to be all over her. But recently, I say about a week ago, we were talking about why he has been acting different, because he doesn't call much like he use to and doesn't want to see me as much and practically argue alot. I know he isn't cheating because he works 5-6 days a week and is always home and just overall don't come off as a cheater. But he told me that he isnt happy because of the baby and wont be for a while and he said he still felt trapped by me. But wants to be apart of me AND the baby. Can someone help me understand this?????

[Zombonnie]

Just be happy u are about to bring a beautiful baby into this world and it already sounds like u love her so much :-) if he does leave it would be his loss u just have to remember that.. I kno it wouldn't be easy but it is do-able and u would be an amazing mommy :-) when people ask just tell them whatever makes u feel better its no ones business but your own :-) and besides if he does leave you'd be mommy And daddy so by telling them daddy is happy its not a lie.. your just stretching the truth a lil ;-) good luck hun I'm sure it will all work out for the best

[FirstTymeMommii]

Thank you that gives me hope and I sure do hope things will get better. It's just tough going through these hormones and then his mixed emotions .. I just don't know how to feel. It's getting to the point where his actions and feelings make me feel unhappy about my baby. : ( I get sad even when others talk about her and eventually talks about the father's feelings and I lie and say he's happy because I don't even want to be reminded how he really feels.

[Zombonnie]

In my opinion Hun he is just confused and understandably so.. he told u from the beginning he didn't want the baby.. he didn't say if u kept it he'd leave u on your own.. so in my opinion he is just doing what he feels is the right thing to do and that's being there for u and the child he helped create.. I'm not saying its ok for him to have asked for the abortion because as grown people having sex u both should have known the possibilities of your actions especially if you've already had to terminate one pregnancy... so I'd say just be happy he us still around and apparently wants to be in his child's life cuz if he didn't want to be... he'd already be gone... just be prepared for him feeling distant for a while its getting closer and its getting more "real" for him like the other ladies said... when he sees his baby he will fall in love and it should make him want to be in that child's life it just takes men longer

[FirstTymeMommii]

I sure hope so!

[KTowne]

I can't blame you at all, some men react this way to hearing about a baby, even to me, my 2nd child, another baby seems so daunting, I remember how hard it was in the beginning, and it is a lot of responsibility, but it's the best kind. Some men just need to see their child to connect, my husband was on board with my son, we were trying, then when we got pregnant he just couldn't connect with him, obviously, it just looked like a bigger stomach to him, and buying a lot of baby items, then when he was born it all changed, maybe your boyfriend just needs to see his little girl, babies, especially girls, have a way of wrapping daddy's up!

[FirstTymeMommii]

And that is what I am so afraid of. Im not even worried about if he wants to be with me or not it's my child. The thing is in his perfect world he would like to just have me without the responsibility of a child and I told him if you want us to work then you have to accept OUR child because she is now a huge part of me and he says he will. He wants to be apart of both our lives. Its just his emotions are sometiming and that I can't and more than likely will not go through once she is here.

[KTowne]

Men's emotions during pregnancy can be just as all over as their pregnant partner, you have to understand he's got a lot going on too, emotionally. I would sit down and talk to him, he needs to decide before the baby is born if he wants to be a part of her life or not, and not go back and forth. I would be absolutely devestated if my husband said he didn't want our daughter, and it would honestly put me to the point where I would want him out of MY life either way, but for your little girls sake, I would ask him, seriously, without fighting, what he wants. With his emotions all over the place I'd be concerned he was going to leave after the baby's born, and that's not fair to your daughter, good luck!!