who do i tell...

[hunibee]

i hate whats going on with me. my story is rather long and possibly boring bt i need help. i have no idea who to tell n i dnt think ne1 can help me. i was in a relation where i fell in love, n then was very dis honest. it broke my heart i cudnt eat or sleep 4 days i lost alot of weight and i felt soo low. eventually we gave it anutha shot becuz i was foolish n in love. i fell pregnant and he wasnt happy. i was soo happy. we spoke about kids b4 bt obviously he ied about tht too. at 8 weeks my baby died n i fell apart. my whole wrld seemed to have a fallen beneth me. n thn me and my partner split again. i dnt want him bk bt i love him soo much. and i dnt want to. its made me feel soo low, i cut myself to stop the pain and im so unhappy becuz i dnt wanna love him ne more bt it wnt stop. i dnt seem to be able to find anutha uy which makes me feel ugly and un wanted. im 21 yrs old and sum tyms wish i was dead. who do i talk to.... who can make it stop hurtin. please sum1 if u have felt this low and came bk please tell me how. please

[hunibee]

ur amazin n thanku so mch. seriously i appreciate every thing u have said. also everyone who has commented has helped me. im feeling good n its becuz of ppl lyk u. i hope u all live happily coz u deserve so mch. thanki xx

[emw11]

i have never had a miscarriage, but i understand the boyfriend situation i went through that a few years ago and it was devestating to me. i thought i was so in love and we were gonna have a future. id hurt myself to numb the pain..cry when i found out he was messing around with girls..even girls that were my friends. but you have to know that if it didnt work and hes a ***** then you cant go back and keep hurting yourself. you will find someone! it took me a while and when i did date all i could think about was my ex..i would continue to try to make things work with us but i knew it wouldnt. i eventually gave up and moved on.you can do it girl, its hard very hard. especially with all the loss you have. but if you quit looking love will come your way i promise. thats what happened to me and now ive been with an amazing guy for two years who i love more then anything and i never even think about my ex. it takes time, A LONG time at that to forget someone who you had a past with. im sorry for your losses. if you ever need someone to talk to im here :) i hope you get better and i wish you the best!

[Crystalgodess]

One more thing. . . What if you dad was here? Think of the courageous, positive advise he would tell you like: your his little princess, his angel . . his pride & joy. He doesnt want you feeling pain or regret. If you cant stay strong for yourself Stay strong for him. Stand up & brush off the negative. I believe things happen for a reason, we have to take in the bad & turn it to good. Why else do we have role models???? YOU BECOME THE ROLE MODEL FOR OTHERS, all we know someone here is going thru the exact same thing you are. Your advise will cheer them up. Now knowing you affected 1person, doesnt it seem all worth it???? I think so :D  . . . Dont you???? Come on . . . let me see it . . . Ah I see a lil smirk on your face now :) thats it, dont be scared to smile. SMILE ! ! ! for everyone to see :D.

K.I.T.

[Crystalgodess]

Hi love, thanks for the friend request.

I somewhat know what your going thru. I never been pregnant or lost a parent but I have had my share of unfortunate relationships. Im fortunate to say never cheated or disloyal (that I know of) but they were abusive :'(. Our personalities are alike, outgoing, social,fun, silly, love making ppl laugh ect ect .... We can go on & on bragging about ourselves & how AWESOME we are rght LOL Hope that made you smile :D but yet . . . behind the smiles & charm no one sees the hurt & pain we carry while they think "WOW that girls GREAT" in actuality we too hurt. But you know what the ppl that make us feel this pain, hurt & misery dont care about us! ! ! that's why they continue to treat us this way & we allow it. WHY???? Cuz we convince ourselves "things will get better, things will change or my fav he wasn't like this BE4, he's _______ (fill in the blanks w/positive tributes-Sweetie stop living in the past & live in the present ! ! ! ! HOW IS HE NOW, LOOK @THE WAY HE TREATS YOU, "YOU DO NOT DESERVE IT"-TRUST ME ! ! ! ! If he did love or care about you he would not continue to hurt you. I know it hurts but NO MALE not even a billionaire ha haa is worth hurting yourself/health or putting your life in jeopardy. Answer me this, would you rather be rich & miserable w/the most horrific partner you can imagine (but you have all the wealth in the world to make you happy) or low class but in LOVE <3???? Theirs always a brighter side to things. ALWAYS. It was hard for me to get out my relationships but I stayed strong to myself & never let penis's bring me down because I know Im a good person & NO1 can take that away 4rm me-NO1! ! ! I kept busy, I turned to my friends for help, sure I went MIA for few mnths but I knew I had ppl that loved me & in turn I was hurting them for keeping myself shut off 4rm them they wouldnt judge me for that I was feeling or going thru. They brought me back to the light, kept me busy, tried their best keeping my mind off the negative & I began appreciating life & for the good it had to offer. Ur 21, Im 24 (turned n July). I dont regret what I was put/going thru I take it as a lesson learned, I flipped it to better myself. I have a better judgment in friends & guys now. Im here to lend an ear, hope I made you feel better & remember-If a guy trully deeply loves you, he will NOT hurt you-he'd appreciate you :D.

Your friend,
Crystal <3

[33bree]

http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Over-Your-First-Love

[hunibee]

thank u sooo mch. all ur comments have left me feeling mch stroner. tday i woke up feeling rather strong and positive. ya,ll helped me so mch and its mch appericated rccresswell ur story was incredable n u deserve ur happiness take care every1 u have no idea how mch u have helped xx

[rccresswell]

I do know what you mean about being in love with the wrong person.  When I was 14 I know very young I met a guy and I was absolutely in love with him.  I lost my virginity to him, he was 16 and I was 14.  

We dated for a year and a half.  During the last 6 months he ended up in prison - classid I know and STUPID.  I stayed with him for about 6 months while he was in prison and when I was 16 I thought **** I can't live like this so we broke up.

Since I still loved him we met up when he was on home detention and when he got out I was in another relationship that I was trying to get out of to go back to him.  When I finally got out of the relationship he was in one - THANK GOODNESS!!!!!

Anyways I am now almost 27.  I can honestly say I still have that little bit of love towards him because I did love him and you can't stop loving someone if that makes sense.  I dated several guys between 16 and 19.

After dating SEVERAL guys I finally realised that I was worth more that just dating one guy after the other!!!  I think it all comes down to you as a person and raising your standards.  I met another guy when I was 19 and I am happy to say we have been together 7 years, married going on 5 years, have two beautiful children and one on the way.  I love my husband as much as you could love anyone but I had to go through all of those obstacles, raise my standards and realise what I was worth as a person to find that right person.

A little about my background!!!  I was sexually abused when I was 3, my dad passed away when I was 9 and I grew up around drugs, alcohol and I was the youngest of 5.  As a teenager I was suicidal and hated myself.  Yes I was lucky enough to meet the guy that made my life so wonderful but you will to if you take care of yourself first.  

I to miscarried a boy earlier this year when I was 14 weeks.  No it wasn't with an ex but with my husband.  This completely ripped me apart and I am approaching my due date next week but in all honestly you do find closure about losing something.

Just stay strong and think about yourself!!!!  Mr right is out there you just have to find him.

[SunWorshiper_26]

Absolutely, even the strongest people need help. I am a therapist and I've seen a therapist myself. So I am a little bias that therapy helps ;) but even doctors need to see doctors, we all need help in life, we need friends, family, people to love and encourage us to be happy and healthy. But until we learn to love ourselves we are not open to others loving us.

Yes there are hotlines you can call and the people who work them have training and many of them are working towards their license in mental health. I have a friend who worked a suicide line, she is a wonderful person and very smart. Also therapy is CONFIDENTIAL which can be very reassuring that the person you speak with isn't going to go spreading your business around.

I wish you the best of luck and pray that you find happiness soon :)

[Djan2011]

thank you :) i hope the same for you! and please  let us know how everything's going and how you're doing!!  

[hunibee]

thanku :) ur a lovely person, i used to be reli happy n i miss tht. im gunna follow all ur advise n im gunna try my best to et through this. u all deserve amazin things in life. n i hope u live happily x

[Djan2011]

Even the strongest people need help sometimes! Otherwise no one would need companionship or other people, and i know i sure do! Don't be afraid to tell the people close to you how you're feeling or what's going on in you're head, if they really love and care about you they will do whatever they can to help you and not judge you. and i know that where i live there are numbers in the phone book for support groups and such most if not all of them are free. i don't think they're professionals but like vacuumprincess said it helps to just have someone listen. and if you ever want/need to talk you can talk to me!!

[hunibee]

i want u all to kno tht u as individuals r soo kind n now im cryin becuz i havnt spoke to anyone about this becuz i didnt think they wud understand. i dnt think i cud tell my family or friends beuz they think im tough bt im nt. they have no idea wt goes on in my head.  wudnt wish heart ache on ne1 bt hearin the things u all say to me, is keepin me tht lil bit more positive. i still dnt reli kno where to turn bt thanku for everythin x

[vacuumprincess]

I wish I was your mom.  Seems like you need love.  When I was younger I wanted someone to love me sooo bad.  I just needed that feeling.  Because of that I was in a few bad relationships.
what you have been through is completely horrible.  I agree with the others about therapy... If you cant afford it try calling a hotline.  I don't think they are liscensed therapists (just people paid to take calls?) but, sometimes it helps just to have someone listen while you talk.

I am so glad you are here!!  There are so many women just like you here.  Some have been through a great deal also.  There are a few names that come to mind, but I don't want to single anyone out.  I urge you to look around this site and read some of the posts.  Make friends & comments.  We are here for you.

[Djan2011]

im really sorry im sure that probably doesn't help. don't cry! it honestly took me years to get to where i am. but that's because i made the mistake of going back to the guy several times because i thought i loved him so much. he treated me horribly and it definitely wasn't love. i was 16 when i miscarried and im 20 now, so it's taken a while. i've never had a parent die, but i've seen a lot of my close friends die, so i know the feeling of losing someone you care about. i met my bf now in jan of this year. and didnt think i could ever get pregnant again, so it was a complete surprise when we found out. i know its cliche but when people say you find someone when you're not looking, or get what you've been wanting when you stop trying so hard they're right. and i know that injuring/harming yourself may make you feel better at that moment, but it leaves scars that stay with you forever, not just physical ones. i have plenty of them. and after years of doing things on my own he hard way i finally started to let people help me and talk about what was going on in my head, without caring if they thought i was crazy or not (which no one did, its amazing how many people can relate to you that you never would have imagined). i don't want to try and give you advice where you dont want it or anything, but try to get to a place where you're content and happy with you before you look for someone else. and really talking to other people does help!

[33bree]

I AM SORT OF GOING THREW THE SAME THING. ITS LIKE YOU LOVE HIM SO MUCH BUT EVERYTIME YOU ARE TOGETHER HE JUST MINIPULATES THE **** OUT OF YOU. I AM CURRENTLY PREGNANT WITH MY EX BABY TOO, AT THE BEGGINING OF THE PREGNECY I COULDNT EAT I COULDNT SLEEP, I WOULD TEXT HIS PHONE CONSTANTLY AND WHAT NOT. I STILL LOVE HIM A LOT BUT ITS SOMTHING WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO GO THREW,
I NOTICED THAT IF YOU DONT TALK TO HIM PERIOD, EVEN WHEN YOU GET THE URGE TO JUST SAY SOMETHING DONT TALK TO HIM! AND ALSO GO OUT! GO OUT AS MUCH AS YOU CAN AND STAY BUSY BUSY. ITS WHAT HELPS ME. BUT THEN AGAIN I STILL TEXT HIM ONCE IN AWHILE. (ITS HARD)

[SunWorshiper_26]

I would suggest speaking to a therapist or a religious officiate. Miscarriage is extremely devistating as is splitting up with someone who you love dearly. You deserve someone who loves you and supports you, don't give up. I know it seems like everything in your world is falling apart and there is nothing to live for but this is just a bump in the road. Look at the big picture. You have years and years to live, to learn to be happy, to get pregnant be a mother and be treated right like you deserve. Don't let this horrible man get you down and think life isn't worth living or he wins. Rise above it and fight for yourself.

I myself went through a hard time after my miscarriage. It is extremely traumatic and it's hard to not blame yourself but know you are not alone. Please speak to a therapist. If you don't have insurance call around to offices and tell them you don't have insurance and see if they will work on a sliding scale. Or ask about group therapy for those who have experienced loss through miscarriage.

[hunibee]

im glad ur expectin, congratulations, i feel so ****** tho, readin ur comment made me cry becuz of hw happy u seem.im scared to talk to ppl in case they think im  crazy.2 weeks after i miscarried my dad died n everythin is jst d`rivin me insane.hw long did it take u to find sum1 else

[Djan2011]

I had something similar happen when I was younger. I miscarried and my bf at the time (the father) moved away. I made some dumb decisions and found other ways to numb my pain. But with talking to a therapist and my family I was able to move on and feel good about myself and life again. It took a long time and I wanted to give up a lot but it was all worth it in the end. Now I'm with someone I love who loves me and we are 6 months pregnant. Just don't give up on yourself because your important and people do love you. I'm sure more than what you think bleep fighting and talk to someone who can help. Good luck keep us posted!