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[K1990]

At the start of my relationship my boyfriend had mentioned something about porn and I told him that I didn't want him watching porn and it is a very big deal to me.  And he said that he wouldn't watch it.... well he is in a different city, about 60 miles away and when school is in session I only see him on the weekends... well I was on his computer and from what I found I think he is watching porn again.  I am NOT okay with that at all.  How do I say something about it?  I am just so angry with him.

[txlonghrn08]

This is so stupid. You don't have to accept pornography in your life to be a secure and confident woman. You can be a secure and confident woman by saying " Hey, I don't like that you watch porn and you know what? I'm not going to stand for it and I can find myself a guy who respects me more to not watch porn. And if I dont find a man like that...then this is a sad world and I would prefer to be alone and happy."  A woman who is secure is one who does away with things that make her feel less valuable.

It's ridiculous. Don't let other people make you feel bad because of the values that you hold. It's a matter of preference. You either like it or you don't and you CANNOT change him. Porn is a compulsion like eating sugar when you are a diabetic...its not something men HAVE to do to survive...if he loves you and respects you he will do what you ask...if not... please find yourself a man who will meet your needs. I promise, you will be a lot happier.

[peekawho]

We're trying to give you some wisdom that we all learned the hard way.  Nothing says you have to take it.

Most people have to find out on their own, anyway.  

[K1990]

Jd1419~ That is a great idea, and I do belive he is telling the truth because he wouldn't lie to me and his brother is kind of like that, he doesn't understand boundries!

ksanden~ I agree that porn is better than going out there and finding someone but I still think that it is in that same category of "cheating".  I feel as the only women he should ever even want to look at like that should be me!  

TMB1975~ I don't understand why my age matters.  I don't think porn is neccessary if your in a relationship, he gets sex often enough to not need that.  And that is my personal opinion and I don't understand why all of you are judging me on that, just like it is your personal opinion that porn is okay.  Some will agree with me and some wont, it's life!  I was just asking for a way to bring it up, that's all I asked!  Thank you all very much, I appreciate the help!  I have noticed some of you have issues with the younger posters, we could use help just like everyone else!  But thank you!

[TMB1975]

Judging by her screen name she is like 17yrs old , and if she is , then that explains it and if she is not i feel sorry for her.

[chellybeans]

i hope your trust is deserved, but experience tells me you are in for a hurt.

good luck , and if he is really being truthful, i think you got some good advice with regards to the seperate password protected accounts.

[girliegrl1723]

i feel sorry for you. you are naive. i had this same "issue" with my now husband and have to say that what rock rose first responded is all you really need to hear. either break up with him or accept the porn. i chose to just accept it. whatever. no big deal. we have a good sex life and he's not cheating on me. whats the big deal? just wait til you guys live together. you'll find it more and more. i don't think i know a man that doesn't enjoy watching porn. its def a gut thing and as much as we like to think so, guys can never change. good luck. this problem will explode later down the line i'm sure when you find a dvd in his sock drawer.