Strange Stepfather Stepdaughter Relationship

[aonemore]

I dated a man for a short time but he could not make me part of his stepdaughter life, 5 years after his wife died. This was a brief relationship with him but I did care for him. When he told his daughter that after 5 yrs he was wanting to date she told him "Ï am your date". When he had to go out of town for work, she had to go with him. I asked him if I could go, he started back paddling. I saw that I had no place as long as the 19 years old stepdaughter was living with him.
Words was said and he is not speaking to me and may never will again. Words hurt and I feel as if there was no room for me in his life. I told him what I thought and it was pretty salty. He has been told about the strange relationship from others but he is committed to taking care of her.

[Londres70]

Maybe this stepdaughter is still having a hard time in regards to the death of her mother?  Just saying.  Put yourself in her shoes.  She is probably afraid of losing her stepdad too and she doesn't want to lose him to anything or anyone.  She has experienced a traumatic event.  Perhaps she is in need of counseling or is attending counseling for this....not sure.

Nevertheless............

I find sometimes people use the word "strange" when they in fact mean they don't approve of the situation according to their standards.  What may be your standards can and may be different from someone else's standards.  As long as no one is being mistreated or abused here I can't really see how it is anyone's business in regards to this man's relationship with his stepdaughter.  

You dated the man and it just didn't work out.  I don't really think it is necessary to worry about how the relationship between this man and his stepdaughter should be as you aren't involved in his life no more.

You have said what you wanted to say to this man in regards to your disapproval and I would recommend moving on at this point.

[TTinKKerBBell]

You've learned what You need to know - and that's a good thing.  You would not deal well with Their relationship - and They should not have to change that because of Your disapproval (or anyone's for that matter).  Under the circumstances who would know what the 'normal' for Them ought to be in dealing with the death of His Wife and Her Mother or how long it should take them to do so?  My heart is heavy for Them.

You said You dated Him for a "short time".  It shouldn't be difficult for You to accept that maybe BOTH of Them are not ready for a new relationship and that maybe You should 'move on'.

Good Luck