Attached to my Boyfriend

[alelexxis]

This month I will be with my boyfriend for 5 years & I am still crazy obsessed over him.

Tonight I got upset because my boyfriend wanted to end our date early to hang out with his best friend. I got angry to the point that I hit him & said mean things to him.

I do this a lot. I feel so bad that my boyfriend puts up with me & I will control myself for a while then I snap.

My boyfriend says we need to seek anger management?

[Chima7]

Hitting him is never ok when you get angry. This is a behavior which, as children, we learn is an unacceptable way to deal with anger. You know this clearly as an adult that hitting in anger is unacceptable behavior. Therefore, whatever it takes for you to stop doing this (ie counseling, anger mgmt, whatever) is what needs to happen.

Also, it's very dangerous to consume yourself so much with your relationship that you completely lose your individuality. You must find other friends and activities to occupy some of your time because it is imperative that you have a life apart from your involvement with him. It's extremely unhealthy to be so completely obsessed with him to the point where the idea of him spending time with anyone else but you causes you so much anger that it results in you hitting him and saying horrible mean things to him. He needs time apart from you to maintain his own life just like you do. I strongly advise you to find other hobbies and friends because this is an extremely unhealthy situation for both of you right now. It's the kind of toxic relationship that can cause severe mental, emotional and even physical damage to him if it continues to go on the way it has been and doesn't change. If you truly love him as much as you claim to, then you will prove it by getting a handle on the negative behavior and you will get a life outside of him so he can have some breathing room.

[RockRose]

I agree with Tink that he needs to learn why he would tolerate this from you - and my guess is,  if you completely stop this irrational behavior he will be disappointed.   He might SAY he thinks you need to seek anger management counseling,  but here he is after 5 years still  putting up with this.

[TTinKKerBBell]

P. S.

There may be a real "clue" in Your own choice of words here:

"crazy and obsessed"

[TTinKKerBBell]

Why would this behavior be acceptable to You??  Why wouldn't You seek help based on Your own thought/feeling/realization that this is no way to react to A N Y circumstance?? !! and no way to treat A N Y O N E?? !!

I agree with Your BoyFriend in a Big Time Major way!!

and He needs to learn why He would tolerate this from You more than once!!