Aa
i am losing my mind
I am 24w2d pregnant and I'm 24 I work 35-50 hours a week and my husband who is 37 doesn't work. He is awful to me I ask him to get me things or whatever after I work 10 hours a day and he acts like I'm a lazy person and he shouldn't have to do anything for me. We fight and he makes me cry almost everyday. I found a profile on his phone for benaughty.com today and he had tried to chat and things and then when he realized he had to pay for it tried to unsubscribe and the admin email address was saved under one of his friends names and he tells me he has no idea how any of this happened. He didn't sign up for the site he didn't put his birthday on the profile he didn't add two friends his age that live near us and he didn't save the email address in his phone under his friends name like he thinks I'm stupid. I don't know what to do.
Absolutely Kelsebby92.....absolutely and Specialmom too.
They make some very valid points.
Sounds like he is just saying "things will change" at this time because he was caught. If this is a pattern with him I would assume cut your loses. If things were going to change they would have long ago.
Don't allow this to continue if you decide to stick this out. Plus, I would send him to therapy so that you KNOW he means business and get him looking for work somewhere.
No offense, I think you have coddled him too much.
Who wants an unemployed "Don Juan?"
All the best.
They make some very valid points.
Sounds like he is just saying "things will change" at this time because he was caught. If this is a pattern with him I would assume cut your loses. If things were going to change they would have long ago.
Don't allow this to continue if you decide to stick this out. Plus, I would send him to therapy so that you KNOW he means business and get him looking for work somewhere.
No offense, I think you have coddled him too much.
Who wants an unemployed "Don Juan?"
All the best.
COMMUNITY LEADER
parkersmommy, I hear what you are saying. He doesn't sound like a great guy to have as a long term partner . . . even though he's been your long term partner anyway and you are now pregnant with his child. I wish we would see the warning signs and ACT on them so much earlier before we are having a kid together and forever tied to one another whether you stay together or not. I'm NOT coming down on you or trying to be rude---- but examining how we end up in certain situations helps us not repeat them. If you find that this is a dead end and you are going to move on---- then just try to think about why you stayed with him as he hasn't ever shown you a work ethic, responsibiity and has always throughout your relationship dabbled in 'other women'. I want you to look at that so that if you leave----- you see that YOU can make choices earlier in a relationship so that ultimately you end up with a good guy.
I think you can try therapy. If he is saying he'll change, he must think he wants to at this point. I don't know if he really will but if you love him, now that you have a child together---- you could give it one last try. But as kelsebby says, I'd not spend too much time. He makes changes NOW or he goes. good luck
I think you can try therapy. If he is saying he'll change, he must think he wants to at this point. I don't know if he really will but if you love him, now that you have a child together---- you could give it one last try. But as kelsebby says, I'd not spend too much time. He makes changes NOW or he goes. good luck
To cheat on me, but I haven't had any actual proof just an immature work **** trying to start stuff.. but like I said dear, the only way he will change is of he WANTS to and actually does it and shows you. But if not, your best bet would be to not stick around as it will only bring you down with him and then what about your baby? You wouldn't want your baby to see all the bull crap he puts you thru, if your having a little boy then he will think that's how to treat woman which isn't right, and if its a little girl she could feel that how men should treat hurt and look for those types of relationships. If it doesn't get resolved fast your best bet would be to get out of there! Good luck.
It's very rare that men who do that will change when they are comfortable doing so. If he likes doing it there is no chance he will, and honestly I've dealt with the same situation on the website's and cheating, although we are only 19 a.d both were only 18 at the time, he has changed and stopped doing all of that. But the only reason was because he wanted to. And same with the job, I worked full time 40+ hours a week supporting his weed smoking. It was awful, but finally back in July when all of this stopped he got a job (I helped him get). And since this there has only been one story of him "trying"
We've been together four years he has worked less than half of that. He has had a problem with talking to other women on and off through or entue relationship. he finally came clean and I keep wondering if it can getr better he swears everrything is going to change and I want to try but I really don't know how much more I can do
Well...the "stay at home parent" idea is great but usually that's starts after the child is here.
Sounds like hubby is too idle and starting to get into mischief. Did he ever work or is he just recently unemployed? Has he always behaved like this or did this just start?
As for the "benaughty" situation....hmmm.....sounds like a pack of lies on his part. If he is treating you like this now makes you wonder how is will be acting after the child is here?
No dear, you're not crazy, in fact, you're very aware of the situation at hand. Now, what you are going to do about it is the question.
I would be sitting down with him having a serious "chit chat" about all this and see if he would agree to counseling. If he is NOT willing to work on himself/the situation, get rid of the "driftwood."
Sounds like hubby is too idle and starting to get into mischief. Did he ever work or is he just recently unemployed? Has he always behaved like this or did this just start?
As for the "benaughty" situation....hmmm.....sounds like a pack of lies on his part. If he is treating you like this now makes you wonder how is will be acting after the child is here?
No dear, you're not crazy, in fact, you're very aware of the situation at hand. Now, what you are going to do about it is the question.
I would be sitting down with him having a serious "chit chat" about all this and see if he would agree to counseling. If he is NOT willing to work on himself/the situation, get rid of the "driftwood."
I absolutely agree that a "stay at home parent" is a FULL time job ( bless each and every one-I did it for years and I worked harder at home than at my job!LOL) and I think it's wonderful that either parent does so. I think it's a great idea. I am concerned of the current treatment of his pregnant wife and unborn child. I am not so sure he would be a good choice for child care. If he can be I think this would be a great option. Therapy might be a good idea.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Ha, I live in an area where about 1 out of every 10 homes has a stay at home dad! I didn't know if this was going to be the plan. I currently am a stay at home mom----- mutually agreed upon by my husband and myself. I worked while pregnant with my first child and then stopped. He certainly could work now if there are no children at home but if he is the child care provider---- that is worthy of being called a 'job'. (just ask this tired mom!)
ha ha
ha ha
He needs to pull his weight or hit the highway,I wouldn't take that if I were you,It's just not good enough on his part,you're pregnant,you work and he just sits down on his big wally.This is the time when you require the most support.He needs to shape up or ship out.All the best.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there. Is he going to provide child care for your baby after he/she arrives? If so, then he isn't necessarily 'dead weight'. However------ ugh. The things you mention are worrisome. His treatment of you sounds unkind. Is this new? Was he like this before you got pregnant? Or is your pregnancy making him more of a jerk now? Did he ever work? Or did he quit when you got pregnant?? I'm just trying to gage if these are old problems or new since you decided to have a child together.
I'm sorry that he is rude to you either way as I think that is unacceptable. our partners may have their 'bad days' but they should be rare with the vast majority of days being spent making us feel good about ourselves. I don't know what is going on with the stuff you found on his phone either. He may be daydreaming about cheating----- ugh. Hopefully hasn't done anything yet.
Is counseling an option? Perhaps he could address his manner of treating you. If he cares about the relationship---- he might be willing to do this. And at that time, the relationship may get stronger and any ideas of other woman may go away. Or issues surrounding that may come out and you'll know more. But working with a professional may help guide you and give you better clarity on where to go with this relationship.
Regardless, you are having a child with him and will hopefully be on good terms with him whether you stay together or not. Many woman make it as single moms and you sound pretty well equipped to handle that.
so, consider therapy to see if this relationship can work out ---- if he'll try to change some things. And if not, get a plan together as to what life would look like without him. Best of luck to you and happy baby!!
I'm sorry that he is rude to you either way as I think that is unacceptable. our partners may have their 'bad days' but they should be rare with the vast majority of days being spent making us feel good about ourselves. I don't know what is going on with the stuff you found on his phone either. He may be daydreaming about cheating----- ugh. Hopefully hasn't done anything yet.
Is counseling an option? Perhaps he could address his manner of treating you. If he cares about the relationship---- he might be willing to do this. And at that time, the relationship may get stronger and any ideas of other woman may go away. Or issues surrounding that may come out and you'll know more. But working with a professional may help guide you and give you better clarity on where to go with this relationship.
Regardless, you are having a child with him and will hopefully be on good terms with him whether you stay together or not. Many woman make it as single moms and you sound pretty well equipped to handle that.
so, consider therapy to see if this relationship can work out ---- if he'll try to change some things. And if not, get a plan together as to what life would look like without him. Best of luck to you and happy baby!!
Two words: bye. bye. You are already doing just fine on your own. You are on your own. You are young and have many awsome things to do in life. Tell him to get packed. He should be really nice to you considering you are working, paying bills and having his child. It's one thing if he just isn't working but the making you miserable and crying. No excuse for that. He is 37 yrs old and not working? How come? Is this a recent thing?
You sound like your already going it alone he's just dead weight. Tell him if he doesn't get a job and start helping out your gone.
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