Does this speech sound right?

[StressedInsomniac]

Right i am still in love with my ex girlfriend and i want to tell her how i feel. I've never been really good with words.
If i should change something please let me know. I dont want it to sound fabricated because all of it came from the bottom of my heart.

Thank you.

Right Tyler, probably the LAST thing you wanted to hear but i want you to know. After ALL we've been through together and with you being treated like sh*t by guys I want to see you happy, and i want to be happy. I know we didn't work out last year. but when i walked you home that night when you was crying, i made me realise how much i want to be there to protect you. Each time i am with you i want to hold you, you mean the world to me. I couldn't imagine my life without you being in it, I'm always happy and cheery when i am around you. I want it to be like when we first met, i was happy and i hadn't been like that for years! There i no other girl that could make me happy, like how you make me happy. I've just got to look into your eyes and i fall in love with you all over again. If i could choose any girl to be with, it would be you, no girl could ever take your place in my heart. If we ever did give things another go, i'd want it to be for real. I know you probably don't have feelings for me but i want you to know that you shouldn't give up looking for someone to love you. I'm here! You know for a fact i'd treat you with the love and respect you deserve so much.

Excuse me if there's a few swear words in.

Shes a girl and i'm a guy by the way.

Thank you all in advance.

[SweetiePie1544]

Hiya
Im 16 and im in a serious relationship
It's very hard of loosin the one you love
What you should do is tell her how much you adore her tell her things that you love about her
and then pop question just tell her that if you she want's you would love to have a enough go at the relationship with her
and tell her the truth that come's from ur heart
It workedfor me with my bf and it will work for u jus belive in urself dont go all crazy and put ur self down
Jus have trust in urself mate
i really hope this informantion is ok
Ive tryed my best to help in any way xxx
Please update me soon

[StressedInsomniac]

My education is all in hand, i want a serious relationship I am mature enough. Despite what anyone says.

[jo929]

17 is to young to get real serious, but the speech sounded good, concentrate on your education for awhile.  luck  jo

[StressedInsomniac]

No need for it now! Everything just cocked up as it does for me! I'm giving up seriously!

[StressedInsomniac]

Nah i don't mind you asking, well i as ill and i didn't want her to catch anything so we stopped seeing on another and she went out with my friend. Who slept with her cousin while together with her. She told me in January that October just gone, she had strong feeling for me and she wished she'd told me. But several days ago i had to walk her home in tears and that's when i realised how much i loved her. Seeing her hat upset broke my heart so much. I'm meeting her after she finishes work, so ideally need a reply now within 1 and half hours

[Shara21]

Hey StressedInsomniac

Do you mind if i ask why you two broke up in the first place? I will make sure to give you a comment within... i guess 9 hours from now =P but first the speech, I feel anyway, Is completly dependant on why you broke up.

Anyway, maybe a little bit more information would help us, help you more! =)

I'll be back on here to check soon, hope you're having a good night~

[StressedInsomniac]

I need a reply within 10 hours lol i'm saying that tomorrow.