Ending it with a controlling guy for good

[ceri84]

Controlling bf/ ex as of today, how do I get him to stop stalking,  calling, amd most of all stop him buying me gifts and leaving them outside, (tv, loads of flowers, blue ray player etc) he wont accept its over and im drained,  cant cope if this is day 1.... plz help,

[Jinx_777]

take this VERY seriously.

get law enforcement involved right away.  change your phone number and if at all possible move.  

most importantly do NOT give any mixed messages.  make it clear you are not interested and do not want him to ever contact you in any way ever again and when he gets served with a protection order he will have to appear in court and the judge will make it clear as well.  

[specialmom]

I had an ex boyfriend that became obnoxious when we broke up.  I had a tape recorder on the phone and I said "I want you to know that I'm taping this conversation.  I want you to acknowledge that you hear me saying DO NOT CONTACT ME IN ANY WAY AGAIN."  he acknowledged on tape.  My lawyer suggested this.  It did work in my case.  Restraining orders do not have to be given out just to criminal level stalkers.  You can obtain this without his qualifying for that.  I'd do it.  He could escalate which was my fear with my ex.  goodluck

[RockRose]

Here is a link that compiles stalking laws by state.  You don't say what state (or country,  I guess) you live in.  Some states have a component to the stalking law that requires a threat of bodily harm.  Having an ex who is still smitten and is bringing you gifts trying to win you over isn't enough to make it a crime in all states.

Best wishes.

http://www.victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center/stalking-laws/criminal-stalking-laws-by-state

[Life360_Dave]

Stalking is a crime that the authorities take very serious these days. A simple police call will put an end to this.

[TTinKKerBBell]

Totally agree with Londres, get the police involved
and
Totally agree with SpecialMom, obtain a restraining order

This behavior should be, and will be, taken seriously as it is often a precursor to violent behavior if He feels You are not 'cooperating' with His 'generosity'

Take Care

[specialmom]

Agree totally with londres.  it starts off nice and can turn ugly.  Make it clear that you do not want him anywhere near you even if it is via a restraining order.  good luck

[Londres70]

Are the police/authorities involved yet?  If not, get them involved.