Aa
lying
Has anyone continued to date/keep in frequent contact with their ex when the ex has found a new partner and then told the new partner what is going on? What was the reaction of the new partner/ex?
Hopefully she found a chance to tell her over the weekend. I think that she should wait for him to arrange to meet up with her, tell the girlfriend that he has invited her out and to come over when they are both there. Will certianly spice things up and he can only have himself to blame for such a mess.
At least she has found out early in her relationship with him so I think all things considered it is for the best. Hopefully she can find someone much more deserving and the other pair now probably hate each other.
He is and she wasn't much better either. The girlfriend didn't deserve the deception but I think in the end, she should've just left her ex alone and let the girlfriend find out on her own what kind of man she has. It was just a vicious cycle of nonsense.
I cant believe there is an innocent party in any of this to be honest. I am sure that she must feel all of the emotions you describe and surely the ex and the girlfriend wouldnt break up over his cheatign unless that was the right thing for them both. He sounds like a player to me
They are two adults and that's what's sad. I don't think children were involved but it's still not right. Imagine being the innocent girlfriend in all of this? She didn't want to tell the girlfriend because she cared about the girl's feelings and felt bad, eventually she admitted that she wanted to tell the girlfriend so that she could continue to mess around casually with her ex but as long as the girlfriend knew so that it wouldn't be a lie. In the end it would be to break them up. It was an interesting read but it just got a lot of people too angry so that's when it got deleted.
They're all adults and two know one doesnt so I would probably tell her but every situation is different, there may be kids involved etc. These forums are bizarre arent they, asking people you dont know for advice. Seems werid you guys decided to deleter the other story though, would be fun to read it.
Well it's not up to us to decide but she came and asked our opinion and since she asked us, we gave it to her. Whether she takes it or not is up to her but why ask if you just want to do it anyway. We all told her that we feel she needs to stop messing with her ex and be respectful of the fact that he has a girlfriend. That just because he is a jerk doesn't mean she has to be one as well. That post was deleted because she kept on coming back and changing her story and then becoming more and more vindictive about the situation. So then she changed her screen name to the above and asked the same question in a different way. What more can we do? You either take our advice or you don't but don't come back and re-post just to get people upset again.
I am South African so perhaps my style is like hers. It doesnt matter to you guys what she decides to do, hopefully it will work out OK for all parties in the end and if she decides to tell her then so what, it could be a good thing or a bad thing. I guess we'll never know, or indeed care! I have never been in this situation and would want to know I think but perhaps I wouldnt if I were in the situation. I guess you ladies are better informed.
sally I apologize if you aren't who I thought you were, but you sounded oddly like the girl who has been coming on here with many different screen names. Your response to her question was coincidently how she was writing ("informed decision") and then asking "wouldn't I want to know", was something she was saying and I'm not the only one on here who thinks this way. The other thread was deleted because she was asking for advice and when given she would change her story or continue to battle us. You don't need to take the advice given but why ask it if you're just going to do what you want or you want us to say "yeah, you're so right" so that her guilty conscience could be eased. Again, I apologize if you aren't her.
Wow, that was a strange reply to my posting. I have never been on this site before but was looking at it with my sister. I dont think that I will again given that response. I cant find the other people that you refer to in the forum or the threads you refer to. I am not a mistress, I am happily married with three kids too.
Darn! I'm gone for a few days and miss out on all the action! Look query, or whatever the heck your name is today, STOP being the mistress, regain your self esteem and self worth and find a man of your own. Simple as that!
I cant believe this after what happened a few days ago.My advice go on with your
life he doesnt want you. Last but not least please for Gods sake make a appointment
with someone who is able to help you!!!!
Lisa
life he doesnt want you. Last but not least please for Gods sake make a appointment
with someone who is able to help you!!!!
Lisa
the other ladies are right. you show a real lack of self control. the simple fact that you have to continue making new screen names and posting the same question to see if you get new responses shows that. both of you are to blame. you need to stop seeing him. just because he asks you out does NOT mean you have to go out with him. he obviously does not love you or her. he's using the both of you. you have no respect for this other woman or yourself. you need to grow up and learn how to say "NO".
I just can't understand why the person keeps coming back. She probably knows that she is wrong but wants someone to agree with her to ease her guilty conscience. It's rather sad.
I think the fact that she can't even keep a consistent screenname says loads about personal issues she has with lying, lack of self-esteem and self-confidence, and avoidance of confrontations.
The answer really is to have self respect and learn copeing skills, so that you don't find yourself going back to someone who if he would have loved you in the first place, would not be with a woman, using you, because he knows that you are there and can and the reality is he is not yours and you are putting yourself in a position to suffer and live a life of constant doubt, jelousy, insecurity all over a man who is simply not worth it. Please do whatever you want, but do not disrupt the forum with your problems that you don't want to take advice and will do what you want anyway.
I've been following this post and the one before, about the cheating relationship. It seems the original poster continues to post back to these threads using different screennames, and I thought it was interesting how you jumped into this thread conversation, this being your first post.
I suspect you are the original poster, "query408," but now you're referring to yourself in the third person under this new screenname.
"In many ways I dont blame her for going for a night out, we dont know why they split up."
No, we don't know why you split up with your ex. But the fact is, you split up, he is your ex, he moved on and has what is supposed to be a "committed relationship" with his girlfriend (at least, SHE thinks that), but you still want casual flings with him.
No matter how you try to explain this away and justify and defend YOUR position in all this, you are going to keep getting the same answers from everyone here every time, no matter what screenname you use (and by the way, your writing style is predictable and unique, so I can easily tell it's you under a different screenname; trying to cover by using the third person isn't working).
I agree with what everyone else has been saying and advising you to do. But apparently, you just can't accept it.
For goodness sake already! Just tell the poor girl so you can feel better about yourself!
I suspect you are the original poster, "query408," but now you're referring to yourself in the third person under this new screenname.
"In many ways I dont blame her for going for a night out, we dont know why they split up."
No, we don't know why you split up with your ex. But the fact is, you split up, he is your ex, he moved on and has what is supposed to be a "committed relationship" with his girlfriend (at least, SHE thinks that), but you still want casual flings with him.
No matter how you try to explain this away and justify and defend YOUR position in all this, you are going to keep getting the same answers from everyone here every time, no matter what screenname you use (and by the way, your writing style is predictable and unique, so I can easily tell it's you under a different screenname; trying to cover by using the third person isn't working).
I agree with what everyone else has been saying and advising you to do. But apparently, you just can't accept it.
For goodness sake already! Just tell the poor girl so you can feel better about yourself!
Sally or is it worried or is it query...how many screen names do you have to create in order to see us give the same response. Go continue to **** around with your ex if it makes you happy. When his girlfriend finds out I hope she doesn't feel the urge to smack the sh!t outta you.
If I were the woman that is being cheated on I would blame by boyfriend for his lack of self control not her - no one makes him go and ask her out.
In many ways I dont blame her for going for a night out, we dont know why they split up.
So long as it was the truth I wouldnt mind how I found out they were cheating I would want to know so I could make an informed decision however hard. Wouldnt you???
In many ways I dont blame her for going for a night out, we dont know why they split up.
So long as it was the truth I wouldnt mind how I found out they were cheating I would want to know so I could make an informed decision however hard. Wouldnt you???
why would you want to be in contact with an ex? an ex is an ex for a reason. and if you are meeting up with them, calling them WHILE they have a new relationship...that is a no no. are you sleeping with this ex? if you are knock it off! he/she is no longer with you but with another person. what you are doing (if you are continuing with the sex) is a disgusting and dispicable thing. this other person is in another relationship and the both of you need to respect that.
This is definitely the same woman. Must have gotten tired of being beat up in the other discussion.
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