How did you date till you got engaged?

[PrincessChandaLeigh]

Just wanted to see how long everyone waited till getting engaged. Please no lectures.

[arlandonbloom]

My husband and I were best friends for 2 years before we started dating, then we started dating and we got engaged about 3 months after we started dating... But it took a year and a half for us to get married.

[PrincessChandaLeigh]

I understand that that's why I asked. I shared none of my story because I feared unfair judgement and rudeness. Some people are just very rude and don't care about others feelings. I try to stay positive and just didn't want any negativity. I didn't mean anything by it I just don't want to be treated unkindly is all. Like mother always said if you don't have anything nice to say don't say nothing at all. Just a simple answer to a simple question. Yes agreed everyone does it want it feels right for them and of course it doesn't always matter how long either. I guess I just wanted to see the average. And yes that's wonderful y'all talked about everything. Me and my boyfriend do the same and I mean everything. I've learned to be this way of terrible past relationships. I'm sure I scared off plenty of dates with the way I talked. All dating is is a test drive for marriage. Other guys my age wasn't thinking too far ahead as I was. I planned to waste no time on no guy that want potential husband material. Lol now I'm rambling.

[specialmom]

Ha, one more post from me.  LOL  Can't get rid of me.  Can't control myself.  ha ha

Anyway, the time to engagement always worries me less to the time of the actual marriage.  You can easily become unengaged if it isn't working out but marriage is harder to un-do.  So, I'm all for a longer engagement period.

I think everyone kind of does what feels right for them.  We live and learn.  Sometimes people are together a short while and it works out great.  more power to them.  But I'm more of the 'be cautious' sort as many relationships that start really fast and go from 0 to 10 tend to burn out.  It takes a while to get to really know someone.  

My husband and I were all business when we got engaged.  We talked before the proposal and ring about our expectations of marriage, each other, etc.  We had a lot of things worked out even before he officially asked me to marry.  Practical.  but then we had no surprises when we married.  (well, the kind of surprises like "HELLO, I don't want kids" and "Guess what?  I like to spend my whole paycheck and keep nothing in the bank."

Okay, see?  I ramble on here.  :>)

[specialmom]

PS, I also find it really odd because you shared zero of your own story.  

We have a lot of people who post on this forum who then get angry because they don't like what is written to them.  But in reality, people are trying to help.  This means that they may give their opinion.  It's never meant to hurt feelings or to be bossy but to give a different perspective to the poster.  That is what med help is about.  As the community leader I encourage that.  

good luck and hope you post again knowing that this is what med help is really about.  Different people to support, share stories, and also give opinions and advice.  peace

[specialmom]

The funny thing about the internet is that we can't tell others what to write to us.  It's an unfair request.

good luck to you as well.  

[PrincessChandaLeigh]

I said no lectures because all I wanted to know is how long everyone waited until being engaged and no additional information is required. I've come to this site for help and encouragement not for someone else to tell me how to live my life or to down me. I don't think asking for no lectures is asking to much. I respect others wishes on here I just would like respect in return. Thank you for sharing your story and God bless.

[PrincessChandaLeigh]

What wonderful stories! Thank you guys for sharing:)

[specialmom]

Hi,  First let me say welcome.  Second, I don't think we can dictate how someone posts to you.  Not sure why the 'no lectures' was written but sometimes we don't like what someone has to say and it is then taken as a lecture.  Doesn't mean those here to try to help shouldn't say it.

I dated for two years, became engaged and then was engaged for a year.  

I believe that it takes some time to get to know someone well enough to make a long term commitment of marriage.  Many skip that fundamental step of building a foundation prior to marriage and that is one reason, a good reason that the divorce rate is so high.  
good luck

[VICourageous]

My Little Brothers Death back in 1983 brought me back to my home town where I ran into a guy I used to ride the school bus with since grade school. He was more of a friend to my brother. We started to go out for about a year and then we married when I was 29 and have been married for 28yrs on Sept 21st. I call him my Soul Mate.
Bless

[Bree_05_15]

I waited 10 months I was with him for a year before but we talked for a year so we talked for a year as friends then dated a year then aaked me to marry him in november waited 10 months fot married in September nd this month on the 28 it will be a year married