marriage help

[chuck364]

i am new to this site but some friends have told me about it so i thought id give it a try. here it goes, i have been married for about 10 years and  we have 1 child and one on the way. my wife and i have never really had a good sexual relationship, i love sex and everything about it, and she hates sex and everthing about it. it wasnt like this when we first got together, it has just changed over the years. i have told her i love her no matter what and i want to be together, but i believe that because we have no sex life that it stresses our relationship in other areas, and because of that we fight over everything, we go weeks to months without talking to each other. we never talk about what we fight over either ( i want to because if there is something i can change to make things better i will try to do it, but she wants to never talk about any arguments, which then lead to more arguments because we do the same stuff over agian). she says very hurt full things to me when we fight like " im sorry your not as good as a father as you thought you were"  and weeks later has never apoligized for it. even tho i know im a wonderfull father and i would do anything for my children  im starting to think its just getting to much for me to handle anymore im just so stressed out with fighting and not having a relationship with my wife. but i just wish i could make it work !! any advice please

[george73]

Have you watched the movie 'Fireproof' ? Do what the guy does in there. It is simple and yet maybe not so simple. Do just one nice thing for her everyday for 40 days. She may hate you etc. when you do it but just do it and see what happens.

[AnnieBrooke]

Seriously, therapy is not your enemy here, why have you guys not tried it?  An argument that goes on for months is a huge signal that something is very awry, and a professional could help a lot.  You two sound like she is resentful and you are keeping score (noting some hurtful thing she says and saying resentfully that she has never apologized for it, instead of saying that she said some hurtful things and so you two went to work on the root problem of all the anger in the household).  I would say to her that all the anger in the household can't be good for the kids, and it is awful for both of you, so it's time to do some couples counseling.  If she refuses, just go without her.

[Londres70]

The statement "we have 1 child and one on the way" can play a big part in what is happening.   Pregnancy can cause a woman to have mood swings and not feel well thus making it difficult to deal with her.

Not to be rude, did she want this second child?  

Her behavior seems to be resentful about something.  Was her behavior like this before the pregnancy?  Anything significant happen between you all in the past?  Do you know why her sexual pattern has changed over the years?  First you stated that you and your wife never had a good sexual relationship then you stated in another sentence that she wasn't always non-sexual.  There seems to be pieces of your story missing here.  

Have you all tried any therapy?