Loss and love

[Life360_Dave]

Why is it that after losing something dear it brings us closer. Yesterday our dear cat Jake died and was terrible and last month our house was broken into. Both of these incidents brought us closer. We are intelligent people and maybe couples tend to take eachother for granted from mundane habit lifestyles?  How do we keep the closeness without being forced to by tragety.

[Life360_Dave]

Bless you for the kind words.

[Ohioman93]

You're very welcome. You give so many people advice on here. You are full of thoughts. If you are this caring on here I know you are a great person. Don't hang your head. Just approach life with your other in the same way you do here. Constant reassurance, understanding and thoughtfulness. Things will work out!

[Life360_Dave]

Thank you both

[Ohioman93]

I will return the favor, in terms of trying to help you. First off, for your cat jake I am dearly sorry. It's tough when anything in your life goes.

A spinoff from that is I am currently in a 4 1/2 yr relationship. I have the perfect girl (literally). Nothing in the world could break us. Well I went to vegas and had one stupid night.

The guilt I felt inside was unbelievable. I went on a month and 1/2 with pure depression until one day I broke down and told her. I made the ultimate mistake.

In my world this was a tragedy.

Anyhow over the last few weeks our love has surprisingly grown. I realized even more how perfect this girl is. She stood by the man that said he'd never hurt her.

I know what I have to do going forward. And that is love her and give her more then I even did before.

And thats what i have done!

So in terms of your situation, if tragedy brings you close, then you know the love is there unquestionably .  You can build off of tragedy, but certainly do not live off of it. Give everything you got. Make every moment about your significant other. You will see results.

Tragedy brings out people's true feelings. And those are the same feelings that are there all the time :)

God bless

[specialmom]

Very sorry for your losses life.  I know what the loss of a dear pet can feel like and it is terrible.  Pets are family and losing them impacts us greatly.  And the violation of having had someone rob you of your things is also a horrible thing that makes us feel very vulnerable.  sounds like it has been a very rough time!

Yes, I think we do tend to take our significant others for granted and spend a good deal of time focusing on the negatives when we are in the routine of life.  We can get in little ruts where it is hard to think of the 'good' things as it is the things that irritate us that stands out.  

They say, though, that you can tell the strength of a couple by how they come together during difficult times.  When you are there for one another to lean on, can comfort one another ---  it often brings back into focus the reasons why you are together in the first place.

I agree that we should be able to try and recapture that closeness during the easier, good times too.  It can take a bit of effort if the rut has been going on for too long but when we have that 'warm' feeling for them again ---  that is a good opportunity to capitalize on it and see if you can rebuild.  

I think something that helps is to make a list of what you are thankful for in your partner, what things you really like about them or respect and admire.  Read it every day to remind yourself.  Add to it when you can.  Let them know when you are thankful for them to help encourage the positive things you like about them.  

It can help keep the warmth alive.  peace