My sister is the "other woman"(not in my marriage lol)

[megochick101]

I am so angry with my sister right now. I talked to her on the phone this morning and she told me she was seeing a guy. Which I at first thought was wonderful as she is always working and never meets anyone. But she wouldn't tell me anything about him at all. Then finally she tells me that he is MARRIED!!!! She is dating a married man and I am so angry with her! She knew from the beginning that he was married and she still went into a relationship?? She thinks it's no big deal and doesn't care that he's married at all and I'm just so disappointed in her! I don't even know what to say to her, she doesn't even think that it's wrong?! I tried to talk to her telling her "what about his wife, i mean how would you feel if your husband cheated on you?" and she says that it's his wife's fault for not "checkin on her man" WTF??? I am so p*ssed at her!! how the heck were we raised in the same household?? I could understand if she hadn't known he was married at first but she went into the relationship knowing he was!

I just do not understand this at all. I don't know how to talk to her about this without b*tching her out. This just makes me feel like my sister is a horrible person and I feel sick just thinking about it! What should i do? Try and talk her out of getting out of the relationship or just leave it alone since she already knows my thoughts on the situation.

[Judy246]

It's obvious your sister has no moral values and is selfish only thinking of herself. Tell her that she has disrespected the mans wife, the man, herself, is committing adultery (which is mortal sin), and has become a discrase to the family and warn her that this type of relationship never works out and is only headed for problems. She's playing with fire and the one who is going to get  burn is her. Sooner or later her conscience is going to catch up with her and when it does, she is going to have to live with what they have both done for the rest of her life....just print this and give it to her. He doesn't love her, he is only using her like toilet paper that is disposable. He's going to break her heart, because he is never going to leave his wife and tell her that you will not be there to pick up the pieces....Good luck.

[megochick101]

mami that's exactly how i feel about her now and i hate it! All i keep thinking is my sister is an inconsiderate selfish  wh*re(that's just horrible to call her a wh*re but that's what i keep thinking!)

I would've probably beaten the c r a p out of her too but she lives in another state so she's off the hook from me there. I'm just so mad, how could she do this to another woman??? Doesn't she have any respect for the sanctity of marriage???? UGH!!! I think i would feel so much better if i could just slap her to wake her up a bit lol

[vmvnpv]

I forgot that medhelp censors the word c r a p.

[vmvnpv]

Wow!  If that were my sister I would probably beat the **** out of her.  Literally.  She knows how you feel and there's really nothing more you can do.  I feel so bad for the guys wife.  That's an awful situation to be in and for a woman to knowingly date a married man?  That's just a horrible thing to do.  I don't know how women can be so selfish and not care about other people's feelings.  And they say women are the more compassionate sex.  :-/

[mami1323]

I felt the same when I found out a good friend of mine cheated with a married man. I felt like I didn't know who she was and felt like I lost trust in her.  Especially when she knew of my situation.  Some people just don't think about anyone else.  They only know what feels good to them at the time but never think about the consequences of their actions.  Unfortunately, she will have to learn the hard way.  I hope when the wife does find out about your sister, she doesn't come after her in a Jerry Springer type of way because lord knows most women want physical retaliation.

[megochick101]

I know you're all right. I've already told her i don't approve and think it's wrong. i'm just going to leave it alone and if she tries to bring him up in conversation I'll just tell her i do not want to hear about the relationship. because i don't. i know she's just going to get screwed in the end by this man and that's sad but after taking time to calm down i know you guys are right there's nothing else I can say to her to change her mind about it. i feel horrible for the man's wife though! UGH I just feel horrible because I have no respect for my sis now!

[iam1butterfly]

You spoke your mind... now, leave it to that because you probably won't be able
to convince her otherwise. But, brace yourself for the inevitable disaster to strike.
And, when she's heartbroken and comes crying to you... just nod your head; sympathetically listen; and subtly say, "I told you so."

[jo929]

You cant tell someone else what to do because they are really going to do what they want to,so just drop the subject, and if she trys to talk about it walk away   luck  jo

[teko]

You do not have to say anything. You made it clear how you feel, she will come crying on your shoulder one day and when she does, remind her she is not the victim the scuds wife is... I feel bad for you.

[MrS_L0PeZ]

I agree with the above. I don't think there is anything else you can do or say to her. Its obvious she doesn't have respect for herself or other women. I think You should just let her know that You love her but you lost respect fot her & you don't want to hear about the relationship with him, if it does continue to go. Unfortunately, when he doesn't leave his wife & she gets tired of being the other women, don't be there to hear her complain or cry. She know what she got herself into & there really isn'y much else to do.

[AHP84]

I agree with Mami. You've told her how you feel about it, so the only other thing I think you have left to say to your sister is that you will not recogize her relationship with this man in any way.
I think you should tell her that you do not want to hear her speak about him, complain about him, etc, and say that he is not welcome to any events you do together (if you do, such as family get-togethers if you were to throw the party, or for her to think you and she can do a double date, etc.).
I think you should make clear those boundaries to her about yourself so that she knows up front that you do not approve of or support this relationship and you refuse to recogize it, but that she's still your sister so you're not disowning her. That way, she knows you're not shunning her out of your life or anything, you're just making it very clear that you don't want to recognize that aspect of her life because you so strongly disagree with it.

[mami1323]

Oh wow, that's a tough one.  She's basically justifying what she is doing by saying it's his wife's fault because she's not taking care of him.  I don't think there is anything else you can say, other than telling her that you do not agree with it and she lost your respect and if she continues to be with him, that you don't want to hear about her relationship with him.  When it gets to be too much for her and she realizes how much of a lonely existence it is being the other woman, hopefully she will get out.  Or when she sees that he won't leave his wife for her and he keeps stringing her along for months or years or if he calls it off because they get caught or he just doesn't want to continue, she will understand.  There really isn't much else to do.  I wouldn't be there to hear her complaining about it or hear her cry when things don't go the way she thinks it would.  It's sad because if more women stayed away from men who are involved, infidelity wouldn't be such a problem.  There is no respect for other women.