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In Need of Advice!
The other day I wrote a letter to my boyfriend expressing my feelings about how I felt about him... the main points of the letter were that he is not too romantic, that he doesnt take me into consideration because he never asked my opinion about a job offer he got (even after we had sex... him being the frst guy in my life... and after telling me that he wanted to marry me), and the reasons why I wouldnt want to be in a long distance relationship. The thing is that in the letter I said that "this is no situation to think with my emotions but rather with my head" and I broke up with him in the letter... After I finished the letter i didnt want him to read it because I knew that he wasnt going to like it but he told me that i should let him read it so that we can solve our isses but after he read the letter all he said was that this is it and we ended breaking up... so my question is how can i change things because i didnt want to end my relationship with him... I was hoping he would tell me that i was wrong but he didnt... now i miss him a lot and i havent been able to sleep in the past 2 days... Can anyone please tell me if i should get with him again or just leave things as they are right now?
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Thanks for ur advice... today he texted me and told me tht he wanted to talk to me so we talked and decided that we would be friends until we solve all of our issues... then he told me tht we will get back together sooner than what i imagine!!!
Well you said in the letter you wanted to break up. You're mad b/c he didn't discuss a job offer with you. It's his job. You're not married. You have no say. Having sex (even if he's your first and "says" he wants to marry you) does not give you the right to tell him what he can/can not do or even expect him to sit down with you and see what you say. If the job meant a better life/more money for him and you can't handle a long distance relationship...what more is there to discuss?
Let him go. If you didn't want him to read the letter, you shouldn't have written it or shouldn't have told him about it. What you should have done was sat down with him and talked and not expect him to pass up a job offer.
Let him go. If you didn't want him to read the letter, you shouldn't have written it or shouldn't have told him about it. What you should have done was sat down with him and talked and not expect him to pass up a job offer.
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I said in your previous post that if someone gets a terrific job offer that is what they want to do with their career---------- they should take it. And a supportive partner would actually encourage that. My husband travels a good deal with his job. It's hard sometimes. Am I worried about me and not getting enough of his time? No-------- it is his career and what he does to earn a living. If I DID have a problem with it----------- then we wouldn't be a good match.
I would have told you to never ever put something like a break up in writing. I'd have told you to discuss it face to face. I'd have told you to not play around "looking" for a particular response as you might get one you don't like. But you didn't ask me first. And now it is what it is. He's broken up with you. You can try to ask him to reconsider but you are just back to the same place------------- where all of the things in your letter are true and he is moving away. So maybe it is just time to let him move on.
good luck, I know break ups are painful. STay busy and distract yourself.