on long distant relationship

[willy225]

I am currently dating a wonderful girl who is just as madly in love with me as i am with her.  our situation is very complicated and I will try and explain my situation as best i can. she is 18 and i am 22.  She attend school over 200 miles away.  she is in a sorority, a freshman ambassador, in her first semester of school, and of course has classes she attends. i on the other hand am almost done with school and don't really have a busy schedule by any means.  she makes it home about every other weekend and I usually get to spend half of the time she is home with her. on saturday we usually either tailgate and attend the football game at my college or do something a little more personal with our night like dinner and a movie or just spending time with the two of us just catching up and remembering why we love each other so so much. on sunday we attend church(just the two of us).  my issue is that although i understand she has many other obligation i feel like i am put on the back burner in her life and not appreciated.  some days we text alot and i feel important and other days we don't talk all that much or at all but i see her tweeting or facebooking with others.  we have been dating for over a year and at first she was never this busy and i was given alot of attention but she has gained a much much larger workload.  this is the start of a relationship i hope to be very promising and has the potential because we both want it. i just want some help in pin pointing things i can work on in regards to how i react to her busy schedule and what i can do to try and regain that attention. She hasn't changed the way she feels for me she has just changed the way she shows it because she is constantly busy and when she finally has time she either is so stressed out that all i can really tell her is to get some rest and try and forget about her day. she does tell me she loves me and how much she miises me and looks forward to seeing me.  i just struggle because i dont know how to handle the lack of communication.
i am looking forward to yals feedback thank you!        

[willy225]

thank you for understanding my want to make my relationship work, instead of being negative.  although it may seem to me like i am being put on the back burner she may be doing it unintentionally and not realizing the damage it causes. also you mentioned not always texting each other.  i know it depends upon the relationship but what do u think would be an appropriate amount of space to start off with?

[Londres70]

It is as simple as figuring out a schedule that is doable for you and her.  Just tell her that you would like to chat with her more when she is away and that you just don't feel like that is happening now and she what she says.

Please keep in mind there are only so many hours in a day and she needs to have time for other things, i.e. school work, other friends, etc.  

[willy225]

thank you!  

[willy225]

im trying to figure out how to tell her!

[thatquietgirl]

If you want to make it work, you need to sit and talk with her about how you're feeling.  Tell her you understand her busy schedule but would like to set a day or two (and specific times) a week when you two can just talk on the phone or via Skype uninterrupted (or whatever number of times you think is reasonable).  Because you have to realize she can't spend every moment texting you.  It's not healthy to be that reliant on a person, and she needs other friends to figure her own self out just as you do.  What matters is that she loves you and spends time with you when she has it.  If she's not willing to come to a compromise on how to work this out, it won't last, but you do need to understand that she will be busy from here on out.  Unless she hates the sorority after a semester, it's unlikely her duties and such will change.

[willy225]

how i feel about being put on the backburner? No. i am trying to pick my battles and the way i approach situations with her so that i do them with thought and actual meaning and not out of anger and or reaction. that would be why i posted this.