Aa
saying she's pregnant but i think she's lying
I supposedly got this girl that i was with for a very short time pregnant back in January according to her. I'm 22 and she's 21. She said she didn't want it and had already scheduled an abortion for the following week. We were on good terms then and we were communicating through text during the week and the process of the abortion because I couldn't be in attendance. She told me how she was feeling like crap and bleeding out cause of the pills she was given. She then mentioned that she had the Nuvaring put in, which through my research they will not put in if the woman is pregnant so I don't know if she lied to me about all that.
some background on her, all of this comes from talking to her over the past 3 months or so. she is 21, has a 2yo son that she had from a marriage when she was 18. she was dating a guy at her work about a year ago but only for about a month according to her, but they continued to fool around for a long time after that. she got pregnant from him and had an abortion. but is still in contact with him and spends a lot of time with him. she says she has slept with 25 guys in her life
We had a fight the other day, i called her some colorful names and she all of a sudden brought it up saying she never got the abortion and is still pregnant and claims its mine. When I asked her to get a paternity test to prove that the child is mine she refused, and has continued to refuse. she would be 9 weeks along now. She is telling me she doesn’t want me in her life at all and barely answers my questions through text. I have talked to my mother and a few close friends who know her as well, they all think she's lying. I have save our most recent texting session, nothing before that though :/
if you need/want any extra info or clarity please let me know
some background on her, all of this comes from talking to her over the past 3 months or so. she is 21, has a 2yo son that she had from a marriage when she was 18. she was dating a guy at her work about a year ago but only for about a month according to her, but they continued to fool around for a long time after that. she got pregnant from him and had an abortion. but is still in contact with him and spends a lot of time with him. she says she has slept with 25 guys in her life
We had a fight the other day, i called her some colorful names and she all of a sudden brought it up saying she never got the abortion and is still pregnant and claims its mine. When I asked her to get a paternity test to prove that the child is mine she refused, and has continued to refuse. she would be 9 weeks along now. She is telling me she doesn’t want me in her life at all and barely answers my questions through text. I have talked to my mother and a few close friends who know her as well, they all think she's lying. I have save our most recent texting session, nothing before that though :/
if you need/want any extra info or clarity please let me know
wcc -- if you do go, or if you do call, my suggestion is to go over a timeline with them and check each thing. "She told me she was staying with you on the 9th because she was bleeding from a pill-induced abortion, she says now she is pregnant, she says it is twins, she says I am the dad ..." and let them react to each thing before you go on with the next one. You might find they have a different picture somewhere along the way that it would be useful to explore.
Maybe. But I think that if she is pregnant, she got pregnant on or around the 19th, from earlier statements and analysis we did, meaning that someone else is the dad. So, what good does it do for freaked out wcc963 to come by and say, "Is she pregnant?" Mom and Dad might not know, or they might think wcc963 is the dad when he is not, or they might have been fed a pack of lies and be ready to shoot wcc963, or he might look like money from home to them ("Look! A sucker who will pay for the baby!") and not ask too many questions. It seems like a phone call would be more appropriate if Dad owns a shotgun.
But of course there is also the argument that wcc is very, very upset about this and wants to know, and is putting getting her into trouble with Mom and Dad a distant second to his burning need to know. I just wonder what useful he will really learn.
I guess at least he can hear if she really stayed with Mom after January 9 when she supposedly had a pill-induced abortion.
But of course there is also the argument that wcc is very, very upset about this and wants to know, and is putting getting her into trouble with Mom and Dad a distant second to his burning need to know. I just wonder what useful he will really learn.
I guess at least he can hear if she really stayed with Mom after January 9 when she supposedly had a pill-induced abortion.
Actually, had she not sent that text from today, I think I would agree just to back off and let things ride. As it is, she's going to keep coming after him with more and more "evidence" and taunting him. It's time to find out, it seems.
Annie, I almost always agree with you but in this case, I think it's a great idea to go see her parents.
That's a stand-up thing to do, IMHO, and admirable. If I had a daughter who sounds like her, and some young man came to my home and said she's claiming she's pregnant and I want to know what the truth is so I can begin to prepare to take responsibility, I think I'd give him a hug and kiss.
Either she IS pregnant (unlikely) and he needs to get his ducks in a row or she is lying and it's time for it to stop.
IMHO.
That's a stand-up thing to do, IMHO, and admirable. If I had a daughter who sounds like her, and some young man came to my home and said she's claiming she's pregnant and I want to know what the truth is so I can begin to prepare to take responsibility, I think I'd give him a hug and kiss.
Either she IS pregnant (unlikely) and he needs to get his ducks in a row or she is lying and it's time for it to stop.
IMHO.
Two months one *day*, you said originally, not two months one week.
No doctor would tell someone they are "two months and one day." That is because a month, how long is that? 30 days? 31 days? 28 days? 29 days in a leap year? It sounds like she is making up numbers for your edification. A doctor would have told her in weeks.
Just ask her to send you a copy of the ultrasound that says on it the date of the ultrasound, the crown-to-rump measurements of the embryos, and the number of weeks and days of the pregnancy, which are all printed right on the ultrasound. Also ask her for her doctor's name and the name of the medical facility where she had the ultrasound.
Frankly, I wouldn't go see her parents. If she's been lying to you she might have been lying to them, and you do not know what kind of a tale she is spinning about you. You might be highly unwelcome. You also don't know if, should they say she's pregnant, someone else might be the father, and so there is the possibility you will learn she is pregnant and at the same time learn nothing. It is undoubted that you showing up will just stir, stir, stir the pot.
You say you're obsessing over this because you're not ready to be a parent. But you are not listening at all to the advice of any of us, that tells you pretty universally that you are probably not a parent (or going to be). This makes me feel like you're kind of stimulated about the whole hot mess, maybe because you don't have much else to think about? Please, dear boy, let loose.
As specialmom says, "please try to remove yourself from the drama. [Even] if she is indeed pregnant, you aren't a couple. Just wait until she gives birth and do what you've got to do. And if she isn't pregnant, this is not worth so much of your energy." It TRULY is not worth your upping the drama by showing up at her parents' house for a come-to-Jesus meeting. All that will do is cause fireworks from her. I am beginning to wonder if that's in fact what you want, to make her mad and embarrass her in front of her parents. In other words, she scares you with a pregnancy threat, you retaliate by pretending to be all confused so you can show up and get her in the stinkhouse with her mom and dad. Try to figure out why you are upping the ante in a game you should not be playing.
Take care, I think you should chill.
No doctor would tell someone they are "two months and one day." That is because a month, how long is that? 30 days? 31 days? 28 days? 29 days in a leap year? It sounds like she is making up numbers for your edification. A doctor would have told her in weeks.
Just ask her to send you a copy of the ultrasound that says on it the date of the ultrasound, the crown-to-rump measurements of the embryos, and the number of weeks and days of the pregnancy, which are all printed right on the ultrasound. Also ask her for her doctor's name and the name of the medical facility where she had the ultrasound.
Frankly, I wouldn't go see her parents. If she's been lying to you she might have been lying to them, and you do not know what kind of a tale she is spinning about you. You might be highly unwelcome. You also don't know if, should they say she's pregnant, someone else might be the father, and so there is the possibility you will learn she is pregnant and at the same time learn nothing. It is undoubted that you showing up will just stir, stir, stir the pot.
You say you're obsessing over this because you're not ready to be a parent. But you are not listening at all to the advice of any of us, that tells you pretty universally that you are probably not a parent (or going to be). This makes me feel like you're kind of stimulated about the whole hot mess, maybe because you don't have much else to think about? Please, dear boy, let loose.
As specialmom says, "please try to remove yourself from the drama. [Even] if she is indeed pregnant, you aren't a couple. Just wait until she gives birth and do what you've got to do. And if she isn't pregnant, this is not worth so much of your energy." It TRULY is not worth your upping the drama by showing up at her parents' house for a come-to-Jesus meeting. All that will do is cause fireworks from her. I am beginning to wonder if that's in fact what you want, to make her mad and embarrass her in front of her parents. In other words, she scares you with a pregnancy threat, you retaliate by pretending to be all confused so you can show up and get her in the stinkhouse with her mom and dad. Try to figure out why you are upping the ante in a game you should not be playing.
Take care, I think you should chill.
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