secret cell phone??

[trc922]

Ok, so i'm stuck in a situation and have no clue what to do or how to go about doing it, so any help would be GREATLY appreciated.  I have been dating a cop who lives with me for about a year and a half.  He is a bit on the controlling side (what I wear, where I go, what i'm doing, wanting my passwords to accounts, etc.)  I recently discovered his password for myspace and found an email he sent to a girl giving her his cell phone number which is not the cell phone number i have, or his male friends for that matter.  I also double checked all the picture messages he has sent me which showed him shirtless and trying to show off his muscles, which if i go into the detail part of the message gives me the other numbers he has sent the pic to, and on the half naked pics of himself he has also sent it to this other cell phone.  I just got a "spoof account" and called the cell number which conveniently has no recorded name on the voicemail.  I so badly want to get my hands on this cell phone to see all the texts and so forth, but am not sure where he has it, it could be in his truck, in his police car, or locker at work.  I just want solid concreate proof before i say anything.  Does anybody have any ideas or advice??  

[peggy64]

The reason he is so suspicious is because of his guilty conscience. When you have a clear conscience you trust everyone, when you have a guilty conscience you think everyone is guilty as well.

That is one of the benefits of having a clean conscience.

You can talk yourself into believing whatever you want, we all can. But in the end, we will have to face up to the truth. Sooner or later. The question is, when do you want this emotional torment to be over....sooner or later?  You don't deserve such treatment.

We feel for you....

[megochick101]

Honey, seriously you need to leave this a$$hole right now. No one has the right to tell you what you can or can't do/wear/go anything! He is a controller and it'll only get worse if you stay with him. Pretty soon, he'll try to determine who you can or can't be friends with(more than likely no one will be acceptable to be your friend to him) He may say he's just trying to protect you but it's absolute BS, he is trying to control you and that's signs of someone who may become mentally/psychically abusive!!

As to his secret phone. If it was used for work/family/friends or anything else it would not be a SECRET phone, you would know about it, because there would be no reason for you to not know about it. I hope that made sense lol The fact that you found out about this phone without him telling you about it says everything. He is not being honest with you and is hiding things with you. He could be cheating, and him giving his number away to a bunch of girls is definitely a clue that he doesn't respect you enough to be faithful and he isn't committed to you at all.

Bottom line, get out of the relationship asap. and just some more advice because it sounds like he could be a real a$$hole(and him being a cop doesn't help), try and end it as nicely as possible.

[trc922]

This is just insane!  Now one of the new "rules and regulations" i like to call it, is that i'm not allowed to wear my heals until i get to work, i must wear my tennis shoes and then change.  Also he doesn't want me to go the hotdog vendor for lunch which is right outside the doors to my building.  Plus i smoke (and so does he) and he doesn't want me going outside to smoke, he says its because i work in DC, which i just don't understand.  Also, when i came home from work i got in the shower, but before i did i put my cell phone on the charger and set it a certain way on my end table so i would be able to tell if he messed with it-and low and behold guess who was digging through my cell phone when i was in the shower, i acted as if i didn't know he was looking through it.  Then he has the nerve to question me about lying and being faithful to him, WTF, i just don't get it.  I was also able to call the "secret" cell phone yesterday and he answered it.  i'm trying to keep my cool, but it just seems to be getting harder and harder.

[CrzyBeautiful1]

I remember going thru all of this with my ex. It hurt so bad. I've went thru it in 2 relationships. I'm finally at a point in my life where I have absolutely 0 intolerance for it. And I know someday u will get there. I look at this situation and think is she crazy?! Why does she stay with him?! But we've all done it. It's not a work phone he has because if it was he u would know about it. There's a reason he's not letting u know about it. And the stuff he was saying to u in bed...LOL I remeber those exact same conversations. It's his guilt showing. You will eventually wake up one day and have enough of it. Good luck.

[trc922]

I have thought about hiring a PI, but I just dont want to waste my money on him.  I have installed a keylogger on the computer which is how i got his myspace password and i have had it since Feb, but i just recently found an email from someone to him with his "cell phone" number on it.  That email was dated back in January, so he has had it for a while now.  I just saw that email because he apparently was ersing them and then that person sent a reply in had the thread of their conversation attached to it which is how i found out.  So he's had it for a while and i have had no suspicion of it at all.  I have called the number with a "spoof card" (it lets you put in whatever number you want to show up on a caller id) and the phone is active but has no recorded name on it like his regular cell does.  I have called it a couple times with the spoof card, but he hasn't answered yet.  I don't want to call to much because i dont want to raise suspicion, but i would like to see when he answers it because i may have an idea of where he might be keeping it.  If he answers at work then he probably is keeping it in his police car, etc.  It just really hurts to know he is doing this.  And we were laying in bed last night and talking about our relationship and he kept saying how he hopes im not flirting with any guys at work stuff like that and then he said and i don't want any secretive stuff going on either.  It took all my power not to say something right then and there, but i didn't want to blow anything.  How dare he say that when he has a secret phone!!!  I feel as if im stuck, i feel as if i have knowbody to talk to and im so glad i found this message board for help.

[mami1323]

He may never show you that phone.  Have you thought of hiring a private investigator if you really want to know?  Or you can just sit and wait it out.  It will show itself eventually.  Trust me, I'm an expert on that one.  It may take awhile and you have to have patience but lies can only remain hidden for so long.  Other than that, I don't think he's going to willingly hand over his phone to you.  There is also software you can install on the computer which records keystrokes.  You can see if he has any email accounts you were unaware of and get a hold of passwords for phone records and social networking sites.  I just wish you luck.  It's not fun finding out that the one you love is being unfaithful.