secret cell phone??

[trc922]

Ok, so i'm stuck in a situation and have no clue what to do or how to go about doing it, so any help would be GREATLY appreciated.  I have been dating a cop who lives with me for about a year and a half.  He is a bit on the controlling side (what I wear, where I go, what i'm doing, wanting my passwords to accounts, etc.)  I recently discovered his password for myspace and found an email he sent to a girl giving her his cell phone number which is not the cell phone number i have, or his male friends for that matter.  I also double checked all the picture messages he has sent me which showed him shirtless and trying to show off his muscles, which if i go into the detail part of the message gives me the other numbers he has sent the pic to, and on the half naked pics of himself he has also sent it to this other cell phone.  I just got a "spoof account" and called the cell number which conveniently has no recorded name on the voicemail.  I so badly want to get my hands on this cell phone to see all the texts and so forth, but am not sure where he has it, it could be in his truck, in his police car, or locker at work.  I just want solid concreate proof before i say anything.  Does anybody have any ideas or advice??  

[CrzyBeautiful1]

Wow u wouldn't happen to be dating my soon-to-be ex husband, would u?! LOL jk. My divorce is almost final, but he is also a cop, who had a secret cell phone. When we first started talking I had seen the cell phone and he told me it was a cell phone he only used to talk to his dad on. He gave me some "out there" lame excuse as to why he needed a seperate cell phone for his dad, and he was a very believable guy. One night when we were leaving his apartment, which is also basically where I started staying with him everynight at, we ran into his ex gf out in the parking lot in her car, watching his apartment! Well when she saw me she flipped out and followed us to where we went which was his mom's. He told me to go in while he asked what she wanted. While I was at the door about to go in she stuck her head out of the window and yelled that she wanted her phone back. Turned out, they had different services and he had the 2nd phone to talk to her on so they would get free mobile to mobile.

Here is my advice to u, and I REALLLLLLY hope u take it. GET OUT NOW! Don't stick around and try to prove anything. U know deep down what he is doing...thats why ur posting in this forum. I ended up staying with my cop, married him and had 2 kids with him, only to spend 5 yrs of my life miserable. He cheated on me the whole time off and on and I never knew it. He was controlling and left me at home 24/7 with the kids while he "worked" all the time. He controlled the finances and everything. Even marriage counseling at 2 different times in our life didn't help. I have now been going through a divorce for a year now and have 2 kids with a father who never sees them nor does he even call to talk to them. He has moved on to his next victim and I feel so very sorry for her. He has twins from a previous marriage that he pretty much abandoned when we got together, despite my trying to make him see them. Looking back I'm so glad I have my kids, but I really wish I would've dropped him the first time I found out about his lies. I could've saved myself years of heartache and would be further in my life than I am now. He was very manipulative. So please...trust ur gut instinct and if its telling u he's up to no good, then run away fast and NEVER look back! I wish I had someone to tell me this 6 yrs ago.

[Judy246]

First, you are no longer dating, but in a committed relationship if you are living with him. Relationships are based on mutual trust and respect. Many of my best friends are Chicago Police officers and just because you b/f is a cop doesn't mean that you have to live in relationship where you fear that he is a cop.  You don't need to have solid proof of your suspiciousness. I would talk to him about your concerns and suspiciousness including feeling controlled. It's best to be upfront with issues immediately instead of sneaking around, which if caught can have consequences. If he finds out that you have been tampering with anything  the relationship can take a turn that can lead to legal problems, so just be straight forward and communicate and if he is not ready for an honest relationship, then you both need to re-evaluate it. Good luck.