what to do

[AlondaMilana26]

This is going to be a little long so bare with me. im currently 23 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child. i have been with my bf for 4 years and my last child and the one im carrying are his. when he met me i had a 1 year old and he stepped i. as a father to my oldest. Almost 2 years ago i cheated on him bc things weren't really going well between us. i know i was wrong for it and haven't done anything like that since or plan on it in the future. so bc of this he questioned the paternity of are daught. he was really destroyed by this and the remainder of my pregnancy with her he treated me terrible and Always left me home and  clubbing.  bc of what i did i kinda accepted the fact that i deserved to b treated like that and had no place to say anything. anyways she is born we do a dna and she's his. so we continue to live with each other and raize the kids. however the relationship was not the same he wouldn't kiss me or hug me  but we would have sex. so in sept. when my daughter was 5 months old i found out i was pregnant again. i thought everything was getting better between us but found out he had been talking to this girl and god knows what else for the last 5 or 6 months. when i confronted him je didnt deny it and i was so heartbroken. i looked past it bc of what i had done prior. out of the blue when i found out about tje girl he tells me he dont want to b with me and his feelings have changed for me.i just dont know What to do hes not affectiontowards me. so im thinking aboutmoving away. but hes acting like he don't want me too. should i try for the kids i meen my sons not even here yet. or do i throw in tje towel amx just move away with tje kids. i need some good advice, im very conflicted.

[specialmom]

Well, this is complicated, isn't it dear?  You have been with him for a while and he did a great thing by accepting your first child as his own and making a family atmosphere with the two of you.  Problems arose and you cheated.  I won't beat you up about that as you obviously are remorseful and wish you had not done it.  The one thing that you said though sticks with me------  'I cheated because things weren't really going well between us".  So, what were those things and did you two ever work really hard to overcome them?  They don't usually disappear unless they are addressed.  I ask this because although you cheated which stinks, you also had relationship issues that got overshadowed by the cheating.  Then he felt justified to be a cruddy partner and go out a lot and now is telling you he has met a woman.  I think hindsight is 20/20  and wish that when problems happened before the cheating, you two would have sat down and talked about that and come up with a plan to improve it.  But in the future, always remember to look for and work on the root of problems.  You created other problems in the relationshiip surrounding trust and those just get topped on the rest of the relationship issues.  Then he put more problems on top of the relationship with his actions.  When all along, those root issues you two have just sit and have nothing done to make you closer or in a better place to have a solid foundation together.  

So, where are we now?  He's met someone and has some kind of relationship going on while you have two children (one baby and an older child that knows him as dad) and one on the way.  And is he saying that he'd be willing to try to work this out with you?  That is what you need to know because being together may not even be an option if he isn't open to it.  If he is willing to work it out with you in earnest, then yes, by all means try.  That would take work,  getting over his cheating, your cheating and working on those root issues you two have.  There are places to get such therapy including the YWCA, churches, clinics-----  or the traditional private practices.  

If you find that he will not reconcile for real with you, then you actually should not 'move away'.  Is he a decent dad?  You now have made children with him who will want to know and be close to their father.  You should stay in the area for that reason.  You are forever tied to this man.  

So, your first question is ------  would he be willing to stay and work it out with you?  Or at least give a 110% in trying??

[Tawseef]

hii, i think u should be attentive and caring for u kids nw,,, .. Be strong everythng will be fine its own..