sister in law moving in!!!

[tonyt678]

SO I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR OVER 10 YEARS WITH MY WIFE AND HAVE A VERY GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH ONE BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER. WE MOVED TO ATL RIGHT AFTER WE GOTTEN MARRIED  . BECAUSE OF IT BEING RUFF IN CT , NO JOBS AND HAVING KIDS MY SISTER IN LAW DECIDED TO MOVE TO ATL FOR A CHANGE AND FOR A NEW START. MY WIFE SPOKE TO ME ABOUT IT AND SAID IT WAS OK FOR HER TO STAY ALONG WITH HER TWO KIDS AT MY HOUSE UNTIL SHE COULD GET HERSELF ON TRACK. THAT WENT OK UNTIL MY WIFE AND HER SISTER STARTED TO GET INTO IT. HER SISTER FEELS LIKE WE OWNED HER SOMETHING  AND ALMOST STARTED ACTING LIKE SHE WAS THE WOMAN OF THE HOUSE, WHILE IN FACT WE WERE DOING HER A FAVOR. SHE WASN'T PROVIDING ANY KIND OF FINANCING HELP , ALTHOUGH SHE WOULD DO LAUNDRY EVERYDAY , HAVE THE LIGHT ON ALL NIGHT AND HER KIDS EATING ALL MY FOOD . I FELT LIKE I WAS TAKING CARE OF ANOTHER FAMILY WITHIN MY FAMILY..TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT IT GOT TO A POINT WHERE  MY WIFE COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE , THERE WERE  ARGUMENTS , THE COP WERE CALLED AND MY SISTER IN LAW FINALLY GOT AN APARTMENT .
  SO NOW ALMOST A YEARS AND A HALF LATER, SHE IS IN A SITUATION  WHERE SHE IS NOW PREGNANT AND  HAVING A BABY IN 1 WEEKS , ABOUT TO BE EVICTED FROM HER APARTMENT , HER BABY FATHER WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING. SHE IS NOW BUGGING MY WIFE TO COME AND STAY WITH US AGAIN... SHE HAVE ALREADY STATED SHE DON'T LIKE ME . I HEARD HER ON THE PHONE MAKING MY WIFE FEEL GUILTY  SAYING OHH IF SHE MY WIFE NEEDED HELP SHE WOULD HELP HER AND SHE HAS A BIG EMPTY HOUSE AND SHE DOESN'T WANT TO HELP. MY THINGS IS THAT WE TRIED HELPING BEFORE. I FEEL LIKE SHE CAME HERE AND SHE DIDNT FOCUS ON BETTERING  HERSELF BUT WENT AND HAVE ANOTHER BABY WHEN SHE COULD'T EVEN TAKE CARE OF THE TWO SHE HAD. NOW WHY IS IT MY WIFE AND MYSELF  PROBLEM , SHOULD WE FEEL GUILTY AT ALL . I FEEL LIKE MY WIFE IS AND NOW IS PRESSURING ME TO ALLOW IT. I NEED SOME ADVISE . I DONT THINK I COULD DEAL WITH HER 2 KIDS RUNNING UP AND DOWN MY HOUSE THEY ARE 6 AND 7 PLUS HAVING A BABY CRYING ALL NIGHT ,PLUST DEALING WITH HER ATTITUDE .. I DIDN' T SIGN UP FOR THAT. I TOLD MY WIFE NO NO NO!!!!!!I NEED SOME HELP , NEED TO KNOW WHAT TO DO . I KNOW IT'S MY WIFE SISTER BUT SHE IS GOING TO COME HERE FOR PROBABLY A YEAR  AND LIVE ON MY ACCOUNT ..I DONT THINKS IT FAIR TO ME AND MY FAMILY.... PLEASE HELP...

[tonyt678]

it's 242am my time and myself are having a steaming argument about this baby coming here ,,but you know what once she's brings the baby here I'm not coming home cause it's ********.. I don't think it's right.. her sister has her now thinking i don't care bout her family and that she is allowing me to treat her anyway.I don't give a damm now.. I just won't be here I will excuse myself from the situation .. its just ******** that you have people like this being a damm burden to people.. i work hard and i take care of my family why should i have her run me off my house .. its ******** but i can't deal with it...

[specialmom]

Ugh, tony, this is tough stuff.  Things just got complicated.  Who would have predicted this??  What about ANY other family???   ugh, I just don't know how you're going to convince your wife that the baby can't come.  I get it.  I really do but circumstances are making this a situation in which it is sure hard to not do this.  I would talk about a CLEAR exit plan.  make it clear to your wife that there is a time frame in which baby and mama/the sil are gone.  even if you have to go rent her a place yourself and move her things.  BUT, that means you have all her kids now too and she'll need care when she gets out if this is a serious health set back.

I would call her mother, your mother in law, for advice.  Maybe if you pay for the apartment, she an come out to help and stay with her and the kids in that apartment??

[tonyt678]

because of her damm irresponsible *** she is in that situation.. she has two kids at her mom and want to have one at my house... she is grown and I'm not going to show any sympathy to her.. she knew what the hell she was doing when she laid up with that man,,, and plus  she knew the man didn't want a baby .. although i don't support it she should have had an abortion... I hate people who always wants to be the damm victim..... instead of bettering herself here she went and laid with a dam man that didn't want a baby . now she is saying ohh I tell you guys to leave him  out of it.. How the hell are we suppose to leave him out of it when he is the one that got you pregnant you fool. i can't stand these foolish ladies now a days.....

[tonyt678]

so now my SIL had the baby last tuesday .Apparently it was at a teaching  hospital  and while having a c-section the doctor slightly cut her liver  but because she signed a waver nothing can be done about that.She have been in the hospital for over a week now still bleeding . They are now saying the baby has to go home because he is heathy and can't stay in the hospital.. My wife is now telling me she is going to take a few days and bring the baby here because the social worker in threatening to put the baby with another family.. The stupid father of the child wants another lady friend of his to take care of the the baby and My SIL does not want that.. I really didn't want her or the baby to come to the house .. I told my wife no .. I don't want the baby here... why are we the ones to take the responsibility let  the dammm father step up and take care of his child..I'm sol freaking pissed off.. I don't want to deal with anyone else baby period .. call me mean I don't give a dammm...

[remar]

Yes, she could go stay with the baby's father for awhile. This is his baby and his responsibility, not yours. You've done so much for your sil already and she did not make any changes but only made things worse for herself and her children by getting pregnant again when she can afford another child.
I would question the shelter story too. If she has 3 children one being a newborn baby, I highly doubt they would make her wait 2 weeks to move in.
I wish your wide was behind you with all of this. I told you my husband and I have had several family members come stay with us. Always it was supposed to temporary and always it turned in to at least and year and sometimes even years. We felt sorry for them and tried our best to help but it caused so many problem for me and my husband. As long as they knew they had a place to stay and food in their stomach, which we paid for, they were content not to change their lives. We put our foot down and promised each other that no one will ever live with us again. We couldn't be happier with our decision. It's sad to know their our some people who are leaches.
Sorry for the long post. Stand your ground. I hope your wife will be on your side and see that you're only trying to do what's best for your family and also for your sil and her children.

[tonyt678]

so now my wife and myself are arguing because she just spoke to her sister and was told she has received an eviction notice . My SIL  now is going to a shelter after she has the baby tommrw. The place will not be ready for another two week . My wife wanted her to come until it's ready . I am still saying NO .. I think this might be an attempt for her to keep saying the place is not ready and next thing you know she will be  settled in at our house . I am so pissed of now. I want nothing to do with this.. Why can't she go to her baby fathers house for the two weeks..It's crazy.....