sister in law moving in!!!

[tonyt678]

SO I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR OVER 10 YEARS WITH MY WIFE AND HAVE A VERY GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH ONE BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER. WE MOVED TO ATL RIGHT AFTER WE GOTTEN MARRIED  . BECAUSE OF IT BEING RUFF IN CT , NO JOBS AND HAVING KIDS MY SISTER IN LAW DECIDED TO MOVE TO ATL FOR A CHANGE AND FOR A NEW START. MY WIFE SPOKE TO ME ABOUT IT AND SAID IT WAS OK FOR HER TO STAY ALONG WITH HER TWO KIDS AT MY HOUSE UNTIL SHE COULD GET HERSELF ON TRACK. THAT WENT OK UNTIL MY WIFE AND HER SISTER STARTED TO GET INTO IT. HER SISTER FEELS LIKE WE OWNED HER SOMETHING  AND ALMOST STARTED ACTING LIKE SHE WAS THE WOMAN OF THE HOUSE, WHILE IN FACT WE WERE DOING HER A FAVOR. SHE WASN'T PROVIDING ANY KIND OF FINANCING HELP , ALTHOUGH SHE WOULD DO LAUNDRY EVERYDAY , HAVE THE LIGHT ON ALL NIGHT AND HER KIDS EATING ALL MY FOOD . I FELT LIKE I WAS TAKING CARE OF ANOTHER FAMILY WITHIN MY FAMILY..TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT IT GOT TO A POINT WHERE  MY WIFE COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE , THERE WERE  ARGUMENTS , THE COP WERE CALLED AND MY SISTER IN LAW FINALLY GOT AN APARTMENT .
  SO NOW ALMOST A YEARS AND A HALF LATER, SHE IS IN A SITUATION  WHERE SHE IS NOW PREGNANT AND  HAVING A BABY IN 1 WEEKS , ABOUT TO BE EVICTED FROM HER APARTMENT , HER BABY FATHER WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING. SHE IS NOW BUGGING MY WIFE TO COME AND STAY WITH US AGAIN... SHE HAVE ALREADY STATED SHE DON'T LIKE ME . I HEARD HER ON THE PHONE MAKING MY WIFE FEEL GUILTY  SAYING OHH IF SHE MY WIFE NEEDED HELP SHE WOULD HELP HER AND SHE HAS A BIG EMPTY HOUSE AND SHE DOESN'T WANT TO HELP. MY THINGS IS THAT WE TRIED HELPING BEFORE. I FEEL LIKE SHE CAME HERE AND SHE DIDNT FOCUS ON BETTERING  HERSELF BUT WENT AND HAVE ANOTHER BABY WHEN SHE COULD'T EVEN TAKE CARE OF THE TWO SHE HAD. NOW WHY IS IT MY WIFE AND MYSELF  PROBLEM , SHOULD WE FEEL GUILTY AT ALL . I FEEL LIKE MY WIFE IS AND NOW IS PRESSURING ME TO ALLOW IT. I NEED SOME ADVISE . I DONT THINK I COULD DEAL WITH HER 2 KIDS RUNNING UP AND DOWN MY HOUSE THEY ARE 6 AND 7 PLUS HAVING A BABY CRYING ALL NIGHT ,PLUST DEALING WITH HER ATTITUDE .. I DIDN' T SIGN UP FOR THAT. I TOLD MY WIFE NO NO NO!!!!!!I NEED SOME HELP , NEED TO KNOW WHAT TO DO . I KNOW IT'S MY WIFE SISTER BUT SHE IS GOING TO COME HERE FOR PROBABLY A YEAR  AND LIVE ON MY ACCOUNT ..I DONT THINKS IT FAIR TO ME AND MY FAMILY.... PLEASE HELP...

[candicehoneyapple]

I agree with you and I know how family can make problems for you. One thing that changes the situation a little bit is your sister baby did not do anything. The baby is innocent in the whole mess. I feel bad your wife is in the middle and you are right her boyfriend should accept some responsibility, but I always say blood is thicker than water no matter what. And i don't know if her and her sister are close, but a sisterly bond is hard to break. she will just have to realize that she cannot stay for that long because it will cause problem in your house. but if she love her sister and you love your wife  you would help her out a little bit just until she get on her feet. I know where you coming from but blood is thicker than water.

[specialmom]

I think that is the route to take.  I would offer her money.  If you can give her X amount of dollars for rent, that would help.  If she has no job, she can apply for assistance.  (is she a US citizen?).  She can get healthcare, food stamps, and housing paid for once established in the program until she gets on her feet.  I know . . .  I hate those that seem to not want to do anything with their life.  And you hate to have our tax dollars used this way if they have no plan to work on things and begin becoming financially independent.  But assistance is there for those who need help and she does.  So, help her financially while she is applying for the aid and then back off of monetary help.  Make this suggestion to her.  good luck!!

[tonyt678]

I FEEL BAD HOWEVER, HER ATTITUDE IS NOT RIGHT, LIKE I SAID SHE ACTS LIKE WE OWE IT TO HER.. I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT IT AND TRYING TO FIGURE WHY  WAS SHE MAD AT ME AND IT JUST CAME TO ME .. SHE  WAS ARGUING ABOUT THE SAME SITUATION , BEING RESPONSIBLE WITH MY WIFE  AND I TOOK MY WIFE SIDE SAYING SHE NEEDS TO STEP HER GAME UP AND TRY TO DO SOMETHING FOR HERSELF.. NOW  KNOWING THAT  SHE SAID SHE DON'T LIKE ME AND HER ATTITUDE DOESN'T MAKE FOR A REAL  GOOD SITUATION. I COULD DEAL WITH SOMETHING LIKE THAT AT A JOB BUT NOT AT MY HOUSE. . I AM A WORKING MAN AND CAN'T DEAL WITH ANY ADDED STRESS. IT WOULD BE ONE THING IF SHE WAS COMING TO US SAYING, HEY I AM GETTING A PLACE IN 2 MONTHS AND JUST NEED BOARDING FOR A SHORT TIME . NOTHING LIKE THAT .. KNOWING THE SITUATION TEMPORARY FOR HER  WILL BE OVER A YEAR. REM. SHE HAVE 3 YOUNG KIDS. IF MY WIFE HAD 3 YOUNG KIDS I WOULDN'T WANT HER TO WORK CAUSE IF WOULD COST TO MUCH FOR DAYCARE .. NOW I HAVE TO DEAL WITH HER SAYING  I CANNOT WORK BECAUSE  I HAVE THE KIDS, WHY IS THAT MY RESPONSIBILITY, WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO PAY A HIGHER  WATER BILL BECAUSE U ARE GOING TO DO LAUNDRY EVERYDAY, HIGHER ELECTRIC BILL ECT .. NO IT'S NOT FAIR. WHEN SHE LIVED WITH US  BEFORE SHE WOULD GET AHELP FROM THE GOVERNMENT WITH FOOD SHE WOULD STILL SEPARATE  FROM OUR , ALMOST TO SAY THAT THIS IS FOR ME AND MY KIDS , DONT' USE IT. IT NOT THAT MYSELF AND MY WIFE NEEDED IT BECAUSE WE BOTH MAKE GOOD MONEY, BUT SHE WAS VERY SELFISH WITH IT.. LIKE I SAID I FEEL HORRIBLE NOT FOR HER  AS MUCH AS I FEEL FOR MY WIFE BEING IN THE MIDDLE AND I THINK IT'S EVEN UNFAIR THAT SHE  IS BLAMING MY WIFE LIKE MY WIFE IS THE ONE WHO PLACED HER IN THIS SITUATION. WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN CHOICES TO MAKE IN LIFE  . I FEEL ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE CAME HERE IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A WAKE UP CALL TO START FRESH AND GO TO SCHOOL AND ENHANCE HERSELF .  NOT TO COME AND BE A BURDEN ON ANYONE. WE DID OUR SHARE OF HELPING. I AM EVEN OFFERING TO PAY FOR THE STORAGE FOR HER AND PROVIDE SOME OTHER MONETARY HELP BUT HONESTLY CAN'T DEAL WITH HER BEING IN HERE IT WOULD DRIVE ME INSANE... WHAT ABOUT THE SO CALL BF WHO GOT HER PREGNANT ?DOESN'T HE HAVE SOME KIND OF RESPONSIBILITY ? HE HUNG THE PHONE UP ON MY WIFE .. HE WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT...

[Life360_Dave]

Hi, i agree it would be a bad situation but you need to consider that she is family and what options does she have? If there are no options other then her living on the streets youd need to help.