Please focus on your mental health right now. Talk to your doctor about your anxiety, and focus on working on that.
You had no risk for STIs, and therefore can't infect your partner. Remember that guilt does not equal risk.
Please read this, too - https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/dec/29/stop-catastrophising-expert-guide-psychologist
Condoms work. This is a fact. Please don' t let these thoughts creep in. Suicide is NEVER the answer, especially as there was no risk!