Please advise. What does my wife have?

[helpsavemeplease]

Good morning. Back in November, made a huge mistake. Protected vaginal and oral with a SW. Regretted it instantaneously and certainly beat myself up over it for months. You can look at any of my previous posts regarding the number of symptoms I have had (and what most have said are anxiety related symptoms - I'm about to prove that wrong).

I stopped posting in January but continued to have a variety of symptoms. Some of which still exist today are what look like tiny bumps on my foreskin and lips (never had this before), random blemishes that appear in the pubic region (never had this before), palpable lymph nodes in throat (since January), elevated lymphocytes (since January 3.2-3.7 and ~50% of WBC), white tongue (not thrush).

I have run all of the major STD tests (DUO, HIV-1PCR and RNA, Gon/Clam Urine, Clam Blood, RPR, SyphABS, VDRL, Hep A-C, HSV1/2 IGG) numerous times, including things like HIV-2, HTLV, various RNA tests, etc. all outside the window period (most recently in May, which was 6 month mark). All negative. I did show positive IGG for EBV and CMV and Candida (doctors said most people do) in January and triggered positive on bands 23/41 of Lyme IGM and IGG only 41 (doctors said test unreliable, not specific to Lyme).
I have taken numerous rounds of medications (just preventatively - azithro, doxy, flagyl, diflucan, etc.) and seen various doctors, with no resolution.

I have had only protected interaction with my wife after negative tests beyond the 3 month mark (and that too sparingly, because I am still afraid of having something and passing it along).

Recently, my wife showed me that she has these bumps and almost circular like peeling on her vagina (itches/burns). There are a couple spots like that extending to her thigh/leg, but mostly all contained on her vagina. She has this cut like would on her lower abdomen just above the pubic region as well. Immediately, my mind went to Syphilis (but I've run that test like 7 times and never tested positive, so hoping its not that).

I told her to go to the doctor ASAP to get it checked out because I don't want anything to be wrong with her. Do any of you know what this might be? Remember, I tested negative for just about everything. Could it be Ringworm, Fungus, Scabies, etc. (something that doesn't show up in a test)? Obviously, she doesn't know about my discretion. But I want to be prepared to handle the situation should the doctor suggest there is foul play and she might have something that is only sexually transmitted.

I really appreciate any advice you all can provide. Thanks.

[helpsavemeplease]

One quick follow up question. The outbreak my wife was experiencing is gone and while I know you guys have suggested this is not STD related and I'm inclined to believe that, my wife has now mentioned she has been experiencing cramping down there for the last few weeks. A couple months ago, I was getting some pulls or cramps down there for about a week as well. She has her OB appointment scheduled a few weeks from now, so I just want to know if this could be some other the radar type of infection that could have been transmitted from me to her. Just trying to avoid the element of surprise. I really appreciate any advice. Thanks.

[Life360_Dave]

Fist of all your mouth symptoms have nothing to do with recieving protected oral and vaginal sex. any sypmptoms would be in your genital area. and  since nothing could get inside your penis using a condom the only symptoms you would have would be for syphilis and herpes but syphilis would be a painless bump not cuts or fade marks and herpes painful blisters.
none of what you mention about your wife are any std symptoms but would appear maybe fungus.
You did not get any std from your affair as evidenced by all the negative tests.

[helpsavemeplease]

Thanks Dave. I remember you providing me with some really good advice in the past. Appreciate your help. I was thinking fungus as well, just not sure how she would have all of a sudden got that, and if that means I might have that as well. Who knows. She mentioned she has never had anything like this before, so makes me think I'm the trigger. Thanks for the feedback.

[Jaimeortiz]

there could be all kinds of reasonable explanations to your wife’s symptoms. After all the testing you have done. You giving her an std seems the least likely. Coincidences seem to be the source of some of our greatest irrationalities

[helpsavemeplease]

Yeah, I'm trying to stay rational. It's just I know she's never been with anyone else. And she said she has never had any issues like this before, which then, just putting 1 and 1 together, makes me point to me being the cause. She was embarrassed to tell me about it, which made me feel worse that I made her feel that way. I hate myself for what I did, but I can't undo it now. I know how scared I was at different points over the last few months, I never want to be in that position again. I just don't want things to blow up in our marriage if there is a way to circumvent the situation. The only way I can think to do that is by thinking through the what else/what if situations. Thanks for the feedback.

[Jaimeortiz]

I feel you I’m in the same situation I have a lot of regret. And that causes me to blame my self when things happen and will probably continue to happen. We made a big mistakeThe thing is tho we did what we did and we learned from it. Our minds will always make us jump to conclusions and think it’s our fault that something is happening do to what we did. But we can’t change the past. All that can be done is move on and make the best of what life throws at us

[Jaimeortiz]

Question. Did you always use a condom with your wife even before your SW encounter?

[helpsavemeplease]

No. Most of the time, we did not.

[Jaimeortiz]

9% of the population is allergic to latex