Last night I visited a massage parlor and, like a moron (I really was only there for a massage, I get them often and have never had a sexual encounter as a result), I ended up having brief sex with my masseuse (she is an Asian female, I am a white male hetrosexual). I am above average in size (about 7" in length and 5.5" circumference), and she was a bit dry, so I had trouble inserting my penis in her vagina (I was using a condom, but no lube).
Upon insertion, I felt the condom pop, and removed my penis no more than 5 seconds after I realized it burst. There was blood on the condom that wasn't mine. I did not see any blood on my penis, and it was more or less dry because I felt all around the tip. I used a second condom and this time we had sex for only a minute or two, but she was in obvious pain and eventually admitted I was just too big for her. I agreed and did not want to hurt her, so we finished with a hand job instead. There was a little blood on the condom the 2nd time also. I removed it carefully and took a shower about 5 minutes after intercourse, cleaned my penis, and went to the bathroom. I never ejaculated inside of her.
I asked her about the blood and she said it had to do with my penis size. I also have psoriasis on my penis, and realize this could be an opening for HIV and other STI's. My partner reassured me several times that she is clean and has been tested, and she even provided me her number (without my asking) to "ease my concerns" (in her words).
But this doesn't ease my concerns, although I was happy she provided a condom without my asking (so she apparently practices safe sex also), I realize she probably has multiple sexual partners. I've read through many of your posts, and they have been helpful, but I wanted to ask my own questions, because everyone's circumstances are unique.
My questions are as follows:
1) If my penis was only exposed inside her vagina, after the condom broke, for not more than 5 seconds (probably less than that), and it was NOT fully inserted, how worried should I be? (remember, there was a little bit of blood on the condom and I have psoriasis)
2) I see you've mentioned elsewhere that time inside the vagina affects one's risk. What causes transmissions?
3) I saw another doctor on this board who mentioned that sex workers and masseuses have low rates of HIV. Is this true, and where does that data come from? It surprises me.
4) What could have caused her vaginal bleeding? (I'm pretty sure she has done this before, so I doubt I broke her hymen)
5) I've seen many on this board say "zero risk" when there is a condom, but there's got to be some "risk", right?
6) If she did have HIV, will the blood to skin contact absolutely mean I will contract the disease?
I feel like I am doomed because there was blood and I have psoriasis. I'm sure you have an idea how scared I am, given what you do. If you have any words or statistics to help me feel better, they'd be appreciated, if not, I guess I'll live with fear for the next 3 months or so... AND NEVER HAVE SEX AGAIN!