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Alternatives to abstinence? (this is about sex addiction)
It is not physically possible for people to refrain from sex completely like you are supposed to with most addictions. There are no sex addiction groups anywhere here. My addictions counsellor could only give me the idea of abstinence. Will not happen, i need it to survive, i just have an abnormally high sex drive, even if that means just masturbating 24'7 and saving myself for someone important i can trust.
I am tired of my views, they have only ended me up at hospitals. My *** is torn, and bleeding profusely, not that i care, but I had to lie to the people who had to examine it, and my mother who ended up barging in on us having sex intoxicated. I cant keep making excuses. I tend to wound myself on a regular basis through vaginal masturbation, i get lost in the moment for hours with my toys and next thing i know theres blood and pain everywhere. The time i realized i had a problem i was recovering from surgery on the opening of my urethra. I had an unexplained Corunkle tumour, they cut it out, cauterized, stitched it but the recovery and bleeding wouldnt stop for a long time, and my boyfriend at the time began pushing me to have sex with him. I was scared to. He said he would rape me at a specific date if i had not healed yet, which turned me on since i have a rape fetish, and so i stressed myself out trying to get myself ready. When the time came i was not healed, and i ended up raping him (he didnt want to hurt me, he had been joking but i took it seriously) yeah i kept reopening wounds. Sometimes i cant stop my mind from thinking of anything or any situation sexually. But the thing is, i have high standards most of the time in the people i want. They have to match all my sexual fetishes - especially the interracial, but every brown guy i see i cant control myself. What do i do in a situation? How do u reject someone?
I cant seem to stop my impulses of talking about obscene things, which attracts ppl who only want to use me for sex in the first place. I cant even say NO to a man, because I get off on that, which obviously gets me into dangerous situations. Most people disagree with my views, for example i like a controlling dominant man who is not afraid to hurt me. I was raised abused. I am addicted to pain, i learned from example how to abuse people. No I cannot go to some rape counsellor either, because i would scare them when i have to admit, yes i have taken advantage of people sexually, although I am sure abuse is where the problem comes from. I am suffering lack of control in every area of my life. So all I have are my addictions which switch from whiskey, to cigars, to sex with strangers i hate, to mutilating myself.
But does it make sense? I cannot open up to anyone and i really want to learn to love someone. I REALLY want to love someone for once. Im tired of this way of life. But love... feeling emotions... It scares me... The only way i can feel is the physical and even then i disassociate most of the time. I want to learn to have sex with someone i like for a change! I want to learn to connect with people in other ways, and learn to get over my phobia of people. but how do i learn this ****, where do I go? I cant talk about this with my normal therapists, they'll ditch me.
My addictions counsellor is mainly trained for drug and alcohol. She told me the only way i can recover is to get rid of ALL my addictions at once. But how? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? Ive recovered a lot with my alcohol problems, as i am no longer in hospitals and the drunk tank intoxicated. But the other night i slipped. I was drunk AND my *** got torn.
Yeah. well disturbing story of a figment of myself, would be glad if anyone could give any advice. Im sorry if this offends, ive tried to keep it on the down low and polite as possible as i can be.
I am tired of my views, they have only ended me up at hospitals. My *** is torn, and bleeding profusely, not that i care, but I had to lie to the people who had to examine it, and my mother who ended up barging in on us having sex intoxicated. I cant keep making excuses. I tend to wound myself on a regular basis through vaginal masturbation, i get lost in the moment for hours with my toys and next thing i know theres blood and pain everywhere. The time i realized i had a problem i was recovering from surgery on the opening of my urethra. I had an unexplained Corunkle tumour, they cut it out, cauterized, stitched it but the recovery and bleeding wouldnt stop for a long time, and my boyfriend at the time began pushing me to have sex with him. I was scared to. He said he would rape me at a specific date if i had not healed yet, which turned me on since i have a rape fetish, and so i stressed myself out trying to get myself ready. When the time came i was not healed, and i ended up raping him (he didnt want to hurt me, he had been joking but i took it seriously) yeah i kept reopening wounds. Sometimes i cant stop my mind from thinking of anything or any situation sexually. But the thing is, i have high standards most of the time in the people i want. They have to match all my sexual fetishes - especially the interracial, but every brown guy i see i cant control myself. What do i do in a situation? How do u reject someone?
I cant seem to stop my impulses of talking about obscene things, which attracts ppl who only want to use me for sex in the first place. I cant even say NO to a man, because I get off on that, which obviously gets me into dangerous situations. Most people disagree with my views, for example i like a controlling dominant man who is not afraid to hurt me. I was raised abused. I am addicted to pain, i learned from example how to abuse people. No I cannot go to some rape counsellor either, because i would scare them when i have to admit, yes i have taken advantage of people sexually, although I am sure abuse is where the problem comes from. I am suffering lack of control in every area of my life. So all I have are my addictions which switch from whiskey, to cigars, to sex with strangers i hate, to mutilating myself.
But does it make sense? I cannot open up to anyone and i really want to learn to love someone. I REALLY want to love someone for once. Im tired of this way of life. But love... feeling emotions... It scares me... The only way i can feel is the physical and even then i disassociate most of the time. I want to learn to have sex with someone i like for a change! I want to learn to connect with people in other ways, and learn to get over my phobia of people. but how do i learn this ****, where do I go? I cant talk about this with my normal therapists, they'll ditch me.
My addictions counsellor is mainly trained for drug and alcohol. She told me the only way i can recover is to get rid of ALL my addictions at once. But how? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? Ive recovered a lot with my alcohol problems, as i am no longer in hospitals and the drunk tank intoxicated. But the other night i slipped. I was drunk AND my *** got torn.
Yeah. well disturbing story of a figment of myself, would be glad if anyone could give any advice. Im sorry if this offends, ive tried to keep it on the down low and polite as possible as i can be.
thank you.
You would be surprised how many counsellors are closed minded about hearing things that bother them. I have a very hard time trying to find someone who will understand me. In real life i have the capability of disturbing people easily, part of my addiction is to talk obscenely about things that... they don't want to hear.
I have an addictions counsellor but the problem with that is she specializes in drug and alcohol which you just QUIT, and sex is something you have to find a balance with, not just omit.
Anyway - I have admitted myself into a treatment centre, will be going at the end of summer. Very excited for this place. It specializes in a LOT of different areas, and is Native american based in beleif which suits me well. Native belief is centred on the belief of balance in everything in life, and against "addict energies". If more people knew this, they would know that the native way is one of the best to learn how to get rid of addictions.
I am taking the steps to help. I am looking for advice though.
Well I was hoping that "possibly" I would come across other people who have sex addictions on here - hopefully the kind who have overcome it. I was hoping to get real advice from other sufferers. I would LOVE to talk to people who have experienced this and learned to get through it. I need someone to look up to desperately. I feel so alone in this.
I want to hear their stories to give me some hope.
You would be surprised how many counsellors are closed minded about hearing things that bother them. I have a very hard time trying to find someone who will understand me. In real life i have the capability of disturbing people easily, part of my addiction is to talk obscenely about things that... they don't want to hear.
I have an addictions counsellor but the problem with that is she specializes in drug and alcohol which you just QUIT, and sex is something you have to find a balance with, not just omit.
Anyway - I have admitted myself into a treatment centre, will be going at the end of summer. Very excited for this place. It specializes in a LOT of different areas, and is Native american based in beleif which suits me well. Native belief is centred on the belief of balance in everything in life, and against "addict energies". If more people knew this, they would know that the native way is one of the best to learn how to get rid of addictions.
I am taking the steps to help. I am looking for advice though.
Well I was hoping that "possibly" I would come across other people who have sex addictions on here - hopefully the kind who have overcome it. I was hoping to get real advice from other sufferers. I would LOVE to talk to people who have experienced this and learned to get through it. I need someone to look up to desperately. I feel so alone in this.
I want to hear their stories to give me some hope.
I don't think anything you could say to a counselor would "scare" or surprise them... It may be in your best interest to get into a good counselor b/c your post has alot of diff. issues and angles you may have to work on 1 esp. being self control. especially if you are a point that you are hurting yourself and putting yourself in situations to be "raped" very dangerous!!! I truly wish you luck!!!
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Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
