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Gf uncomfortable sexually and can't orgasm. also no pleasure in forplay Please help
So I met the most amazing women in the world and we are now engaged. I am 33 and have had more then my fair share of relationships and never wanted this with anyone.We have a great sex life and I don't think I have ever enjoyed regular intercourse with anyone as much as I do with her. He is much younger then i am at 24. When we first met it was kinda random and we were just having fun, but we quickly feel in love and here we are today getting married and a house. My issue is when it comes to sex she only like to have straight sex and give me oral sex. She says she feels nothing from touching and playing, she sometimes says she wishes she did and sometimes says she doesn't care, I think the doesn't' care is because she doesn't want me to worry about it. If i finger her she will enjoy it for a few but it just becomes uncomfortable and annoying. When i kiss and touch her nipples or anything else sometimes she doesn't mind it and sometimes it makes her uncomfortable and she doesn't really like it. I've tried to introduce toys but she doesn't want anything to do with them, we have used and I think that was more so just to please me since I got them. There was one time after she gave me oral, which makes her really wet every time, that before we had sex I started to play with her for a minute and It actually felt amazing for her and she was really enjoying it. I have tried to duplicate this again with no luck, it was a one time thing and I asked her about it afterwards and she said yea I don't know what happened that was amazing. She does enjoy regular sex a lot and it feels amazing for her, but not enough to make her *** although many times I was completely amazed that she didn't ***
Here is a few facts about her
She never has had an orgasm
she doesn't masturbate, but why would you if it didn't feel good
She is very uncomfortable with her body but since we have started dating that has improved sooo much!
She has had been with a lot of people due to it making her feel loved (due to low self esteem, stemming to father issues and feeling like her father wasn't there for her)
I am the only person that she has ever actually wanted to have sex with, everyone else in her life she just had sex with because that was what you were suppose to do.
She told me once that she isn't very sexually aggressive towards me because she wants to be perfect and is afraid of doing something stupid, which is something that has been improving as well
She was date rapped by her new Bf who was also her friend for a few years....
I feel like her issue is mostly in her head and as she gets more comfortable with me they will all improve. I would be happy with our life, if these issues were never resolved but I want to do anything I can to help her enjoy sex more because she deserves it. She says it doesn't matter to her, but I think that is due to you don't know what you are missing. I know there is more but I can't think of it right now, I will add it if I do. She is such a sweet girl but has been through a lot and deserves more.
Here is a few facts about her
She never has had an orgasm
she doesn't masturbate, but why would you if it didn't feel good
She is very uncomfortable with her body but since we have started dating that has improved sooo much!
She has had been with a lot of people due to it making her feel loved (due to low self esteem, stemming to father issues and feeling like her father wasn't there for her)
I am the only person that she has ever actually wanted to have sex with, everyone else in her life she just had sex with because that was what you were suppose to do.
She told me once that she isn't very sexually aggressive towards me because she wants to be perfect and is afraid of doing something stupid, which is something that has been improving as well
She was date rapped by her new Bf who was also her friend for a few years....
I feel like her issue is mostly in her head and as she gets more comfortable with me they will all improve. I would be happy with our life, if these issues were never resolved but I want to do anything I can to help her enjoy sex more because she deserves it. She says it doesn't matter to her, but I think that is due to you don't know what you are missing. I know there is more but I can't think of it right now, I will add it if I do. She is such a sweet girl but has been through a lot and deserves more.
Hi Jimmy, the first step is to get her to focus on the sensations in her vagina. It is impossible for her to orgasm if she is having random thoughts about whether or not she is going to orgasm. Get her to switch her focus between feeling into you and enjoying the sensations in her vagina.
COMMUNITY LEADER
I again read your original message and tried to understand the problem. Yes, you are right, she has to cross one step before she does advanced things.I will contact you if I find some solution of your problem.
Why not try breathing together, alternate breathing and circular breathing. This appears quite innocent. Do not tell her that you expect any sexual overtures. Keep a simple goal of breathing to-gather Eventually this can result in more intimacy.
There is one book entitled " Breathing to orgasm".I am not sure about the title and its author.Find it read it. You may find some way to get her interested in sex.
A hypnotist also can make some difference in perception of our probe.Of course in this case you need her cooperation..
Why not try breathing together, alternate breathing and circular breathing. This appears quite innocent. Do not tell her that you expect any sexual overtures. Keep a simple goal of breathing to-gather Eventually this can result in more intimacy.
There is one book entitled " Breathing to orgasm".I am not sure about the title and its author.Find it read it. You may find some way to get her interested in sex.
A hypnotist also can make some difference in perception of our probe.Of course in this case you need her cooperation..
In my opinion this would be the second step, I'm looking for the first step to get us there. She can't even begin to experience orgasm until she can experience pleasure
COMMUNITY LEADER
I think more you experience orgasm, more you start connecting with her body emotionally.It is normally expected that if you are satisfied sexually, your total relationship wilt blossom further.
How is that going to cure her no feeling within that area? I honestly care less about her orgasming then I do about learning how to connect with her body to allow it to feel good, the orgasm should follow.
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Google the above as well as the following phrase.Breath to orgasm. there are three types of breath. Simultaneous, alternate and circular. They can be used as a foreplay.If you do kegel, movement of penis is verical. She will feel the difference immidiately.If she does kegl you will extra pressure on your penis. You can do kegel alternatively.
Kundalini yoga is good for Increasing sexual stamina and control sexual energy.