Iv been dating my boyfriend for two years and we are so much in love. But the biggest problem we are facing right now is that he is not sexually satisfied. The problem is that he really likes anal and i hate it. and that i never instigate sex(Because im never really horney). Its always him who comes on to me. Its kinda annoying sometimes especially when im on my period. we have sex about 4 times a week on average. Hes is 21 and im 20. I used to have kinda of a sex drive when we started dating but i just dont feel the need for sex as much. i dont get horny and sex hurts 50% of the time. I dont feel attractive and i feel scared that im not doing sex right. and ever since iv gotten the birth control implanon my periods last two weeks and come every two weeks and that affects me sexually big time.
It is really stuffing up my relationship. Emotionally hes happy, we have the best relationship ever, we tell each other our deepest darkest secrets and can be our true selves around each other. i just dont satisfy his sexual needs. He even admitted the other week that if this keeps up hes going to either dump me or cheat on me. I dont know what to do.
I dont feel horny and when we have sex i only enjoy it a little because i either dont feel anything or it hurts. I used to love being fingered but now even that feels uncomfortable. I can only get off by grinding on top of him and being licked out and sometimes there is him making me squirt by penetration. But most of the time i barley feel the penetration or it hurts. and i just dont like anal. It hurts it rips my butt and it feels so uncomfortable but im fine if he puts a finger in. But penis wise i just feel so uncomfortable and for some reason panicked. During sex i just lay there and not make a sound. I dont know what im meant to do, how to touch him, how i should move and i dont make noise because i dont want to seem like im faking it plus we live with his dad so i dont want his dad hearing us have sex. ill let out the odd moan but besides that i wont make noise unless im cumming.
To be honest we dont fore play much either. He doesnt make out with me and i feel there is no romance. He will touch me and grab me sexually and we will kiss a little. I am attracted to him both physically, sexually and emotionally, i just dont feel horny. We havent even been out on a real date in months we just sit at home and do nothing in our spare time when were not working. We've been living together pretty much from day one but dont live together since all the fights we had in the last few months. When he comes to me for sex i cant help say yes because i dont want to make him feel insecure like i dont want him, because i do want him i just dont feel horny. and i feel a little pressured and some times it makes me feel like all he wants is sex from me. I think im a little bored sexually too. I just want him to feel me and kiss me and hold me close during sex and go slow and stuff but he ever does it, even if i hint at it or physically make him do it. he will just stop. He tries his best to make sure i come every time during sex but sometimes i dont want to and i want it to be over and done with or i just want to make him come.