I am not able to end my love relationship with my uncle

[shilpi150]

I know, many of u will find me nasty but i really cant able to end this relationship but i want to..
He is my father's cousin and 4 yrs older than me. I will never say that he forced on me. we never met in childhood.I met him 5 yrs back in my other uncle's marriage. we played lots of games and don't know when he started falling for me. When i came back from marriage. we stay in touch. We talked almost whole day on phone. and dont know when i also started loving him.. we both knew this was wrong but can't help ourselves. we started dating. He helped me a lot in my bad times both financially and emotionally.. we both knew that we can't marry but our love grew day by day.. that love which was unconditional, pure and endless. I bet, if we were like any other normal couple, we would be the example of endless love..
All was going well....but at the end, dat happened which was to be happen.. He got married last year...Now, he has become father too.. But he says, he loves me and he can't love anyone else...
After his marriage was fixed, I cried a lot and tried my level best to end this relationship.. But he always convince me that he loves me...but don't know why.sometimes, I feel cheated and  betrayed. I really want to end this relationship. I feel alone and sad...Plz help...I am depressed..

[remar]

He would be your second cousin, not your uncle. In some countries you would be allowed to marry a second cousin. He is already married though so the two of you getting married is not a possibility. You sound like a young woman. There are many men out there that are not married that you could meet and one day fall in love.

[NOHARD]

Hi Shilpi after reading through whats going on first he is just a relation and it stops there, and I think he is now just stringing you along, and agree with Annie, your best bet would be to move a very long wayh away from him a lieave him with his wife, and doing this you do not make any contact with him or your family, the reason for the last bit is so he cant get at you from the info they would have as to were you are, its a clean break that you need, and a new life, and find a man of your own age.
Good Luck

[AnnieBrooke]

If he is coming around and convincing you that he loves you, it might be for love (but what kind of honor does a man have, if he is married and does this?) but it is more likely to be simply to use you for sex.  Please come to reality and get some other hopes in your life.  Don't waste your time with him, you have more to hope for than a cheating man.

[shilpi150]

thanks for the answer...
I live very far from him but as he is close to my family, i can't ignore him...
whenever I go home, he comes to my home and everything starts again.. He does a lot to my family..All loves him a lot...

when I am far from him, I become normal but in front of him I become very weak...He always convince me that he loves me...

I want to be strong even in front of him.. till now, I have not met his wife and kids bcoz I can't see another woman in his life..But now I want to lead a normal life.. I want to meet them and feel happy for him..But how...?

[AnnieBrooke]

In the title, you say the man is your uncle, but in your text, you say he is a cousin of your father.  Obviously you must live in a culture where one cannot marry a father's cousin.  Where I live, you would not be able to marry your uncle, in other words, the brother of your father or your mother, but you would be able to marry your father's cousin.  I am sorry you were not able to marry him when you two decided you were in love.

But now, you have to work on some strategies to learn to walk away from this, since he is married and has a child.  Even if there were no family relationship at all between the two of you, a moral person will not allow him or herself to be illicitly in between a husband and wife.

My suggestion is that you need bigger challenges and to make some ambitious changes in your life.  Can you move to another place, city or even country?  Can you go somewhere for some further education, partly to educate yourself and partly just to get away and have new interests?  because sitting in a rut and pining for him is useless.