Fear of loved ones dying

[Lily21]

Hi all,
I'm new here but i thought id give this a try and see if anyone has any suggestions. I am 26 years old and as long as i can remember i have always STRESSED out about my familys well being. I know i can't control what happens but i see that now as i am getting older i stress about my family and loved ones dying on a daily basis. I know it might sound weird but you have no idea how bad this can get unless you go through what i go through everyday. It's getting to a point that i have panic attacks here n there. I am extremely close to my mother, father and sister and just the thought of them not being here scares me. I know this is a serious problem becuase i can't let go of it and i have tried over the years but the thought runs through my mind constantly. I was on anti depressants for a few months a couple years ago but decided to stop taking them. Does anyone have any suggestions? I want to enjoy the days i have with them right now and i dont want to waste time thinking of things that may or may not happen soon but i just can't stop on my own.

[sebastian49]

It is a life you have to face the every phase of it.

[eve29576]

I can relate with you so much.  I have this same constant fear of my dad dying that started maybe half a year ago..it was strange because I always had the realization everyone will die one day but never really thought about it with my dad deeply until then. My dad owns a bread route so he drives at wacky hours in the middle of the night and for some reason I kept having these recurring thought/fears that something horrible might happen to him while working and he might get into a fatal crash. Horrible to think about, and I felt guilty and upset for even having these thoughts, so I would always try and combat them with sending positive thoughts and energy to my dad. Then a few months go by and my dad gets into a car wreck while working...lets just say with how the circumstances were he is extremely lucky he made it out alive. This happened not even a month ago and I'm still freaked out. I just wonder if I somehow intuitively knew something bad was going to happen? And you'd think I would feel better now but I feel as though it might just be getting worse. Some days it is not really bad but others i'm just constantly worried that my dad might be hurt or worse. I wonder if maybe it is because I'm at college now and this is the first year I havent lived with my dad. I dont know, I just hope this is just a stage in my life that I will get through and overcome, because I don't want the time I do have with my dad to be tainted by this unnecessary fear thats recently crept into my life involuntarily :(

[shimmer86]

I can definitely relate, I have struggled with this fear for many years now; it affects me everyday. It used to be so crippling that I would have to take an occasional day off of work or school. The fear has gotten a little bit less within the past year or so. A thought that occurred to me today is that, after they die, I will have a family of my own, so I will not be left alone. I will also have my siblings and cousins still here. This is soothing to me because they are an "extension" of my parents, both body and spirit.

[Carissa1998]

Has he experienced anything traumatic in the past few years? Or maybe not even "traumatic" per say. When I was 8 I was in a motorcycle accident, the man on the bike with me passed away. That taught me very quickly how fast death can happen. That one moment, everything is fine- and the next he wasn't there anymore. This experience, by the time I was about 9 or 10 left me in crippling fear every time my mom would leave for work because I'd be afraid I'd never see her again. I had a whole goodbye "ritual" for everything she left the house, or the room for that matter. I'm 18 now and even still the last think I say to mom before ending a conversation is "I love you," just in case that's the last thing I'll ever get to say. You might want to get your son into a child counselor. He might actually have depression or anxiety. (A lot of people are under the misconception that this is an "adult disorder," but it can effect people of all ages.)

[MomOfTheBoy]

I have these same fears as well. At some point almost every day they creep into my head. I worry most about my mom and husband. I don't know what I would do without either of them. I have struggled with anxiety (sometimes severe) on and off ever since I became a mother over 13 years ago. This compounds my fears because I also feel like I can't take care of myself without those people, so part of my fear is also selfish in a way. I'm afraid when the day comes that mother passes I might just totally lose it. I don't know how I'll get through a funeral or how I'll help my son and the rest of my family cope. It seems as though I'm not living for the moment anymore because I'm so fearful of the inevitable future. It's a little scary to have these fears as a grown woman. I've been able to be a stay at home mom for 13 years, so another fear is how I could possibly support myself and my son should something happen to my husband. How could I possibly re-enter the workforce with my severe anxiety after all these years? All of these things just pile up in my mind and the future just feels overwhelming. Anyone else?

[gsbbbpowers]

I have a 10 year old son who is typically a very happy athletic, smart kid!  For the past 3 months or more, he has been randomly crying because he is afraid that his parents (me and his dad) and his grandparents are going to die. None of us have been diagnosed with any illness recently, so he has no reason to worry about illness and death. He is a very compassionate, sensitive, and thoughtful boy. The outbursts of tears are quite random.  We could be watching a TV program that has nothing to do with death and he'll begin crying.  He has cried during church if the priest talks about death or has cried even when he wasn't talking about death.  Daily he plays with neighborhood friends or goes to the YMCA to play, or has a basketball or baseball practice, or some days we're at home after school.  We've been on a 2 1/2 week Christmas break, which maybe has provided him with too much free time to "think."  He has been on an asthma-preventative medicine, Singular, for about 3 years, which has been know to cause mood swings, so we are going to try a new medication for that to see if it helps.  In 2013, between my husband and me, we did lose 3 grandparents (his great grandparents).  Has anyone had a child this young experience this anxiety of death?  Is it really that maybe he just doesn't understand how he can love his parents and grandparents so much?