Fear of loved ones dying

[Lily21]

Hi all,
I'm new here but i thought id give this a try and see if anyone has any suggestions. I am 26 years old and as long as i can remember i have always STRESSED out about my familys well being. I know i can't control what happens but i see that now as i am getting older i stress about my family and loved ones dying on a daily basis. I know it might sound weird but you have no idea how bad this can get unless you go through what i go through everyday. It's getting to a point that i have panic attacks here n there. I am extremely close to my mother, father and sister and just the thought of them not being here scares me. I know this is a serious problem becuase i can't let go of it and i have tried over the years but the thought runs through my mind constantly. I was on anti depressants for a few months a couple years ago but decided to stop taking them. Does anyone have any suggestions? I want to enjoy the days i have with them right now and i dont want to waste time thinking of things that may or may not happen soon but i just can't stop on my own.

[sonicmariofan]

I'm in my early 20s. I have these thoughts/fears also, and I'm glad I'm not alone. Typically these thoughts can be about anyone - ranging from parents and sibling and pets, and even about people I've spoken to often online. I've had this fear of loved ones dying since around mid-high-school, but today for some reason I felt it very, very intensely (which is rare), to the point where it made me start crying. I'm afraid that the intensity means that it will happen. Even when someone's birthday is coming up, I think, "Oh no, they're already __ years old, which means they're probably __% through their lives and only have __ much to go". Heck, even on my own birthday, I'm reminded of how my family, pets and I are all a year older...

I'm not sure, but I think I have awful thoughts everyday or so - even when I'm out shopping or whatever with someone I'm close to. I'll start thinking, "Well, better enjoy this moment, because it could be the last time that __ and I visit this place", "One day you'll look back on this day as a memory of spending time with __", etc.

I'm not a social person either, quite shy actually. It's pretty much impossible for me to form connections with people - so the thought of losing someone that I'm close to terrifies me. I'm terrified of how drastically my life would change if I lost someone close to me, not to mention, how I would never see them ever again or be able to re-live those memories.

At the same time, even during these thoughts, I realize there's nothing I can do, that certain things have to happen according to God's plan, and that it's best to enjoy the moment while it's there. But I have trouble with not worrying. I saw in someone else's comment that they would think of something happy for 30 secs. when they started to have these thoughts, and that it helped (takes time though), so I should def. give that a try. Welp, thanks for reading this long post.

[SevenStones]

Yes, I know what you mean.  I can remember as a boy, sitting at my schol desk in a music lesson, and breaking my heart, the beautiful music reaching my soul, wondering how my parents would eventually die, and imagining the scenarios whichever of them died first, how my life and especially the life of my remaining parent would be so changed from the happy life we had.  I'm an only child and think I have always felt a responsibility for everything to be alright, always, between the three of us.  I had friends, but now loking back, our lives revolved around one another, no neighbours, not even many relatives, and none of them close except my mum's mum.  My parents fibbed to me that they were younger than they actually were and I remember the shock (at around 12 years) of finding out that mum was in her early 50's and dad in his 60's, instead of the perpetual 33 and 43 that they always said they were!  I was horrified, it sounded so old to me and although it probably didn't start my feelings of their impending demise, it certainly moved my thoughts up a gear.  

[hannahbannana333]

hi, i am so glad i have read what you have said! i get the same exact thing! I worry and worry and i feel like my only solution is suicide. But then i think it would kill my family if i died and i don't know what to do because when it happens i can't function. and the fact that i am thinking this makes me think that what if i am foretelling the future but i think it's just anxiety but I am frightened and I am scared that i will end up committing suicide.

[hannahbannana333]

Hi, I have the exact same problem as you. It is mainly my mum i am worried about and i cannot stop worrying about it. Because i can't stop worrying about it I then get worked up thinking maybe i can tell the future which sounds silly but things like when i have a song in my head and then it comes on the radio makes me worry so much more. It sounds ridiculous but i am terrified because my mum is the most important person in my life and i am so scared. I don't really know what to do!

[PaulaCirakolli]

I feel the exact same thing , i saw your comment and it was like you read my mind . It has passed quite some tine since your comment could you please tell me how is your life going  now ? have you managed to solve this excessive worrying ? please respond !

[InLightInMe]

Glad to see I'm not the only one. I'm 17, and I had quite the bad past. I'm not going to go into every single detail, but  my best friend, mother, and grandmother all died in a one month time range. I used to live with my mom and grandmother, and my best friend lived a couple houses down. After this happened I stopped talking to everyone except my brothers and sister for a while. We were all adopted and put into a new home, and several years later I've matured up a lot. I started to get these thoughts every once in a while, and then it progressed from there. And now it's come to the point on when I'm not talking to anyone I'll think about the people I love dieing, and it would always be a different situation, different outcome, and how I would handle it. I've kept myself from getting close to others. Its a scary thing. I wish all of you luck with your thoughts. Stay strong for your loved ones

[v1s1t0r]

I'm 24 and have had this on and off for years. It doesn't sound anywhere near as bad as yours. I do, however, see that it tends to get worse with age. What helps me is distracting myself with some dumb show. The more distracting the better.