Answers

[LittleGirl18]

Im 18 years old with a beautiful home with my boyfriend, we been trying to get pregnant for almost 6 months now i been to a doctors but they said wait a little longer then come back, well i have really irregular periods they are all over the place they last for 5 to 6 days and 3 to 4 days and sometimes they are a full regular period that lasts up to 7 days and the time apart are like 22 days 24 days and 27 days to 33 days i have no idea when im suppose to ovulate please help.. thank you.

[lboogie7735]

I just sincerely do not understand the rush. You are still changing as a person yourself. What you want now, in terms of what you do for a living, where you live, who you want to spend you time with, who you are as a person, will probably be different at 18 than it is when you are 25. You haven't lived long enough to have the breadth of experience that an older parent can bring to the situation. My cousin had a baby at 18 and she turned out to be so premature she was 1.6lbs at birth. He and the baby's mom spent the first 4 or 5 months of Kyla's young life at the hospital. They had been together for 3 years at that point, lived together, were engaged, and let me tell you, things changed. Have a kid with someone you are not married to and you are going to have very little say in what goes on when it's their turn to have the kid, if you two are no longer together. My parents are the ONLY teenage parents I know who have stayed together. ALL of the other kids I know born to teenage parents have been on some sort of welfare, WIC, food stamps, whatever. There have been issues with custody. You do not know what the future holds. I think there is this misconception that if you want it bad enough and you're convinced you'll love it so much, than it must be meant to be, NOW! If it's meant to be it will happen. You shouldn't have to force it. My question's are: do you have a solid education, a solid career, money in the bank in terms of savings in case of the unexpected, health insurance for yourself, your name on your place and vehicle? Who is paying for everything when the baby gets here? I am not ok with working my a$$ off to pay for teenage mother's kids when I choose to get educated and NOT have kids. Tax dollars come from people like me. If you can support the kid entirely on your own, go for it, I wish you all the luck in the world. You'll see how hard it is if it ends up that you have a baby like me (like a LOT of babies) who didn't sleep through the night for 10 months! I would just like to hear one person under the age of 20 give me a valid reason for having a kid as young as 17 or 18. There is no good reason. Statistically the odds will be against you and your baby, always. Why do that to yourself and the kid? Notice how none of you that want kids at a young age come from a 2 parent home? Think about that. Why do YOU guys think that is? I've spent many years in counseling and I would have gone into psychology if I wasn't already so burnt out on dealing with people. I see patterns and I find it disturbing that kids aren't bright enough to see them patterns in themselves and address their own issues with self esteem, identity issues, relationship issues, etc. and instead think that things will somehow be better by bringing a baby into the world. That baby might cry or be sick all the time, it may have down syndrome or autism, my point is that it is unlikely that it will be the dreamboat kids seem to think it is. I witness it everyday. Kids at the store, dragging their kids around, and a look of resentment on their face by the time that kid is 2 or 3. The parent(s) is stuck dealing with the responsibility of child rearing while their friends go off to college, get to travel, work and live wherever they want. What is so wonderful about having a baby so young? It's usually a huge sign that there is a void in your life, something is missing. I'm telling you, making another person will make life harder on everyone. Get an education, make the world a better place! Don't be a statistic. Aren't you all capable of more than that? ANYONE can squeeze out a kid, that is no great accomplishment I assure you. If you are really "SET" in life, than you shouldn't need any government handouts to have and raise the babies you all seem to want so badly. Right?!?! You should be grown and responsible enough to do it on your own. So if the dad leaves are you going back home to your parents and get on food stamps, how are you working out day care, and schooling later on? Think! That's all I'm saying, think really hard about the biggest decision you can make in your life. Once it's here there's no taking it back, and it may look at you one day like I used to do to my parents and say "I didn't ask to be here, you fix this!". Good luck ladies. Just my .02, as the voice of 'children of teenage parents', and the witness and relative of many.

[LittleGirl18]

Thanks 9char_maine4

[9char_maine4]

By the sounds of it LittleGirl18 feels that her and her hubby are ready for this. They may not be 25 - 30 years old but they obviously have a stable relationship and feel that they are ready to become parents. It is not like they are 13 - 16 trying to get pregnant shes 18 and most countrys/states thats considered to be an adult. Just because they are not planning on getting married right away doesnt mean that they never will. My mom and biological father are not together he became abusive so she left, she raised two children (at a young age) that were both babies by herself for three years. She met my step dad and they have been together since. they have still not gotten married (yet, my dad wants to when they get a new house) but both me and my brother turned out fine. Your parents dont have to be married and they dont have to be your biological parents. Kids become who they become because of their enviroment and their experiences. just an opnion lol no means to offend anyone :)

[LittleGirl18]

Yeah thanks for commenting..

[remar]

I agree with everything my daughter, lboogie wrote. Can you see now how hard it is to have a child at any age, let alone being a teen? You have your whole life ahead of you and plenty of time to have children. We really are not trying to get on to you because we can not make you change your mind if you don't want to. We come to these forums because we have experience and we care so much. I have 3 nephews and between them they have 10 children. None of them are married. They don't see their children most of the time, if at all. It's really sad. No child deserves that. And yes, we do help out with the children when we can. We really do care and that's why we commented on your post. It would be great to see you go to college, get married, have a career and then have children. Something to really think about. Every child deserves the best life possible.

[lboogie7735]

Hi, I'm remar's daughter Tara. She had me the day after she turned 16, my dad was 19, and they were married. They worked incredibly hard and needed the help of my aunt and grandma to babysit while they both worked so we could have a house, transportation and a private education for me. I am incredibly fortunate in the fact that my parents were extremely mature at young ages due to some pretty serious issues they had already dealt with in their own lives. My mom lost her father, grandmother and cousin in the year leading up to my birth. My dad's father had recently been diagnosed with cancer and was dealing with an amputation that gave him serious medical problems his whole life.
I came and I was their world, they loved me more than anything. You know what? My life was STILL incredibly difficult. Neither of my parents were old enough to have seen their own issues with mental illness and addiction manifest yet. They didn't realize they had created a baby with lots of inherited traits like an anxiety disorder and my father's alcoholism, to name a few. I'm 35 now and I've been sober 2 years and 7 months after drinking for 20 years. Next week I'll celebrate 3 years since I quit smoking, another 20 year habit. I have a college education, that I obtained after dropping out of high school and being a professional partier. My life was an absolute mess from a young age for a long time.
I was raised not to take government assistance, and I never have. My parents were really amazing parents, but they both know how hard it was on me growing up in an environment that wasn't totally stable and wasn't totally solid yet. I don't mean financially. Your relationship will change with your boyfriend, time, and life, will test it. Life is incredibly unpredictable. If you are willing to make a lifetime commitment to a child I would think you would want it to be WITH the person you want in your life as your committed partner. I have a friend who decided to keep her baby from a relationship with someone she wasn't going to stay with. He got cancer, and he died this summer at 4 years old. She was a 36 year old, single mother. No one could have predicted that is what she would be facing by taking on parenthood, but you never know at any age. I think she would have already lost her mind by now if she were younger and dealing with this alone. The odds are much more in your favor raising a child with 2 parents. I know, I am the only child of teenage parents, and yes I am so glad that made the commitment to stay together and look out for 'us' as a 'family'. I don't have kids, never been married, and that's unlikely to change, I chose a different route because I felt the ramifications of the responsibility of young parenthood, and I wanted no part of it for myself.
Life is incredible, there is a big world out there. Try not to limit yourself by taking on too much too soon and thereby burdening a child with that. It limits what is possible for them too. I wish you the best.