Derailed but on track .. it's all about accountability!

[Ranaesheart]

For those of you who know me, and for the newest members of our community who may not, I am the CL of this community and am just recovering from an abdominal abscess and have not been active on the community for a short time.  The every 8 hour trips to the ER for IV antibiotics are over and I am continuing to heal on a course of oral antibiotics at 6 hour intervals.  At the same time, my 3-year-old granddaughter was diagnosed with leukemia a month ago and was just rehospitalized with some fairly severe complications.  Kalista has been diagnosed with a bowel obstruction and an infection of unspecified origin.  She is in severe pain and coming off steroids so the mood swings and host of aches and pains are awful.

Now, being an emotional eater ... combined with having to eat when taking pain and antibiotic medication, I have gained another 10 lbs.  Saying this publically makes me accountable and makes the recent derailment of my weight loss effort real and at the forefront of my thoughts.  I am not angry, it is life and we are not perfect.  There will be these times.  The KEY is how you handle them!  

I forgive myself and accept that I will fail from time to time.  I also have the power and control to not punish me for my failures and to get back on track!  I CAN and WILL achieve my ultimate weight loss goal and, with the help and support of this entire community .. WE CAN DO THIS TOGETHER!!!  I will NOT give control to others and I will NOT take my emotions out on food --- it does not help and I CAN find a more productive way to express myself.  And, if I feel sad, alone or disheartened for a short time .. I have only to count my blessings and reach out to the wonderfully supportive community members that bring caring information, love, support and friendship.  Besides, sadness, worry and giving into fear only makes matter worse.  I CHOOSE to SMILE!

Here is a quote that I found most timely and true .. what do you think?  Are you with me?  Do you have any positive thoughts to share?  Are you struggling?  Can we help?    

Don't blame others for your failure to be fully
accountable for your own life. If others are to
blame then you have given them control.
--Bob Perks

Looking forward to providing you with some weight loss information, exercises and thoughts to challenge your thinking.  Certainly hope you will be joining us and that you will commit to being involved.  YOU CAN ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS .. but YOU MUST BELIEVE and take action!

[Ranaesheart]

Thank you for the very warm welcome.  I have missed you horribly and am very glad to be back.

As I read through your posts, I am struck by the bare honesty and forthrightness of your heartfelt words.  Do you realize what a milestone it is to be able to do this?  Our realization and accountability is a MAJOR STEP in our personal growth and making positive progress on the path to achieving our goals.  

YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!

Have some special things for you tomorrow along with a longer answer to this post ... take care ..

Oh .. and MISS KALISTA IS IN REMISSION!!!!  and home from the hospital!  

[twehner5]

TO:  wonko...you have been a trooper!

TO:  Barb135...me thinks you may be correct - but finding a doctor...THAT is the problem.

TO:  Elaine...I say, we keep the masks on!

[wonko]

I take full credit for getting this big in the first place!  It's just issues since then that have made losing it all the harder.  I accept my past and look forward to my future...

[Barb135]

Thanks you 2 for wearing the masks and washing your hands before typing.  I'd hate for either of you to catch ANY of these nasty conditions mentioned above; but twehner5, I fear that it might be too late for you, with your fatigue and other symptoms you've mentioned in previous posts. Nor do WE want to catch anything from you guys..... We already have our share of unpleasantness to deal with, more would not be appreciated.  lol

[elaine1961]

Welcome back Ranae. Please dont be hard on yourself, you've lost the weight before so can do it again, give yourself chance to heal,then you can put all your energys into getting back into shape. I'm happy to hear your on the mend, and that Kalista is also improving. stay strong, Thanks Twehner, I to used anti-bacterial hand soap before typing and I'm wearing a mask, just in case Their contagious. fortunatly i dont have an illness which makes me gain weight, so i can only blame my lack of control in the past,

[twehner5]

I'm glad you're back, Fearless Leader !  It is good to "hear your voice".  Under the circumstances, you have done what many of us would have done by gaining weight.  You have had to eat hospital food and fast food way too much during the time with Kalista and most recently, with your own bout with your abscess and infection, you could NOT take all those meds on an empty stomach!  

BTW, thanks for clarifying.  I almost called NASA to help you!  LOL (You guys would have to see one of Ranae's journals...).  I was really scared.  So glad you educated me.

There appears to be an "infection" being passed around some of us "old-timers" on the forum.  Everyone above me has mentioned some kind of health problem that has made weight-loss "not-happening" or way more difficult than it should be.  I used anti-bacterial hand soap before typing and I'm wearing a mask, just in case you guys are contagious.  I say that, even though I, too, have been "going round and round" with my doctor, trying to figure out why I am so fatigued that I have to sleep in between bus routes.  

Speaking of naps, yep!  It's time for one.  Pardon me while I curl up for a while.  

I've been trying to get back on here with some more regularity, but I haven't been "up to par" myself.  We'll ALL get through these things.  I WILL see my goal weight, even though I have gained back a few pounds myself.  I'm still only 5 pounds from my goal.

Night.       zzzzzzzz

[TrudieC]

Miss Ranae, I am so happy to see you posting and glad you are on the mend.  My prayers are with Kalista that she may rise above this current challenge and go on to good health.  You are an inspiration and my world is definitely a better place with you in it.  Thank you for the quote.

My weight has started to come down on its own as can happen with Lupus and am finding my appetitie is lowering.  Woo hoo!  I am in Vancouver for the week and am pleased that I am managing to be a good girl.  My husband had his first colonoscopy yesterday.  I've been nagging him for years and when he finally agrees both my son and  I are out of town so my best friend had to take him.  They found many large polyps so we are hoping that all come back benign.  He is now scared straight and is determined to take better care of his health which will help me in my weight loss endeavours.  

Take care and hugs, Trudie

[Barb135]

Welcome back Ranae.  I hope you continue progressing on schedule.  

I guess I can't consider that you FAILED by gaining 10 lbs.  I know it wasn't what you WANTED to do, but having to eat at regular intervals, etc and the circumstances you've endured the past few weeks kind of took things out of your hands for a bit.  

Just as wonko has updated her tracker to shed more light and honesty on her situation, I started a journal a week or so ago, laying out my feelings and part of my plans.  Because I do have medical issues, there isn't always something I can do to lose weight; most of the time, the best I hope for these days to not gain more.....  My journal is open to everyone to read.  

I think you will get right back on your chosen path and do just fine as soon as your medical issues are resolved enough to allow it.  

Again, welcome back and keep on, keepin' on........

[wonko]

Welcome back, Ranae!  Good to see you posting, though we understand that you are still healing and dealing with quite a full plate.

I recently updated my tracker to shed a little more light and honesty on my own situation.  There are complicating factors beyond my control, but I feel more in control now that I'm taking responsibility for my weight.  I've been weighing myself daily instead of weekly to "get a grip" on my situation and fluctuations.  You inspired me to take this difficult step in my journey.

Love the quote and the positive energy that you always bring.  Keep on the mend!