Lost and worried.

[Lynne2019]

Hi, I'm in a very serious relationship with a guy and we know we want to get married as soon as we graduate college.kids are a huge importance to me, I love them and I definitely want kids, so does he. Only draw back is that he has a very low possibility (but not impossible) of having kids and I am hardly ever regular and have a lot of random pain not during my period below my abdomen. I'm not exactly sure what our chances would be, we both don't agree with birth control since kids are one of the things that comes with marriage.are we likely to have kids easily? Or will it be nearly impossible for us?? I've never been educated in this field other than things I've picked up on. Am I worried about nothing?

[AnnieBrooke]

Tell your mom that the fact that your cycles are irregular worries you a lot, and that you want to talk to either a doctor or an ob-gyn about it because you are afraid it means something about your future childbearing capability.  Tell her that it is making you lie awake nights worrying.  She should let you see an ob-gyn. I'm sure my first ob-gyn appointment was when I was still a virgin.

[Chima7]

What does your mom have to do with it? How old are you? I started going to an ob/gyn on my own at 18.

[Ohmylord0705]

Go to OBGYN.  What your mother has told you about not having to go because you're not sexually active is untrue. Only an OBGYN is going to give the most accurate answers you seek.  He/she will better educate you on your vagina and the possibilities of your chance on becoming pregnant. Being your boyfriend along with you so he can also be educated on your vagina!

[Lynne2019]

My mom would freak out and think I've had sex or something and my parents wouldn't let me see my guy again. My parents are very sensitive, that's why I'm asking for advice here, I'm just lost when it comes to this subject. I'm worried that if I have a problem(or him) and it isn't addressed in a reasonable amount of time it could get worse, causing us to not being to have kids one day. Besides that I'm horribly afraid of obgyn and don't want to go unless I absolutely have to. My mom says I don't need to go until after I'm sexually active.

[AnnieBrooke]

Is the problem that it is an ob-gyn, or is the problem that it is a doctor?  If you just don't want to go to an ob-gyn, go to a regular MD, they could probably order tests to see what your hormones are like at different points in your cycle.

[Lynne2019]

I meant to say I can't go to a obgyn. I'm not worried about being able to have an orgasm or not.
Thank you for your advice.

[AnnieBrooke]

Both of you can have medical workups to see if there is any issue that will affect trying to get pregnant.  He should not just have one sperm test and write off fatherhood.  Whether or not you can orgasm is immaterial to getting pregnant, the egg comes down whether or not a woman has a climax.

[Lynne2019]

I'm not exactly sure why it's a low possibility, I know he has had a test done. He was on some medications as a child because of illnesses but he's off them now but I think that was a small part of it. He also got kicked by a horse two years ago so one side of his penis won't get hard (I think there is a surgery that is a 50/50 chance of helping) which apparently can cause problems during sex...?  I'm not sure if this is all of the issues or how they could effect us having kids. I just don't know enough to know for sure and I can't go to a organ. I know it seems like a small issue but kids means the world to me.
I'm not having cramping, they are random sharp pain that only last a split second and are very sporadic but usually cause me to gasp.

Thank you for your time in answering me.

[AnnieBrooke]

You might be worried about nothing or worried about something, but there is no way to know from "he has a very low possibility of having kids."  What does that mean, exactly?  That he can't have sex?  That he has had sperm counts done by more than one doctor at more than one time and they all show zero?  Or what?

And you having irregular cycles and cramping with your period could mean nothing or something, it is well worth getting a thorough workup from an ob-gyn to figure out if you are ovulating regularly and to be sure you have no fibriods.