Aa
No feelings when having sex
Hey, I'm 17 years old and have had a boyfriend for a year now. We've had sex multiple times, but I don't get anything out of it. It did hurt the first time, but now I get no pleasure out of it. I'm wondering if it's something wrong with me. Not speaking of the fact that it kills my boyfriend's confidence. I'm sure other girls would've enjoyed it. What should I do? I get no pleasure out of oral sex either, and masturbating only feels weird
There could be many causes, and this issue is complex with so many variables. I think there are unrealistic expectations on what sex is supposed to be. You are young and sex is a new experience for you and your body. Don't be too quick to attribute your lack of sex drive/enjoyment to coming to the conclusion that something is wrong with you. Take some time to get better acquainted with your own body. If you are not enjoying sex, you and your partner might want to take this as a sign to slow down. The act of sex is nuanced, as are your responses. I think you will come to find that sexuality and the desire to have sex will ebb and flow in your life. Become very familiar with your own anatomy. Touch yourself and look at yourself. Become comfortable when communicating your feelings with your partner. It is completely normal and okay to say no to your boyfriend. This will work itself out. Show yourself some grace, and take time to learn what you enjoy. An orgasm is not a measure of confidence. Your sexual desire is an exquisitely unique expression of individuality, and comparisons serve no one.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Maybe it's just your body telling you that you would rather not be having sex. Why do you do it, are you thinking you won't have a boyfriend if you don't sleep with him?
2 Comments
No, that's not it. I get aroused and wet and all so I do want to. And my boyfriend is extremely understanding about it, he's actually asked the same question.
How long do things go on when you and your boyfriend have sex? Maybe it is not going long enough?
Have you ever had an orgasm, either with your boyfriend or by yourself?
Have you ever had an orgasm, either with your boyfriend or by yourself?
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