Well, if the surrogate is doing it as a paid service, she does not see herself as the mother, so you would not be "taking a baby off a mother." Time will give you more answers about all of this. Let your doctors be your guide, especially about the question of how transmissible this is to your progeny.
Take care,
Annie
Thank you for replying. Sorry you went through such a tough time. I wouldn't like to have a baby knowing their is a chance I would leave them in an ideal world. I have thought about surrogacy but I'm an only child friends have said they would do it but I wouldn't want to burden them I suppose. I just don't know how I would feel to take a baby off a mother even though genetically it will be my balbino :) at the moment I'm a bit like soooo many thoughts soooo little brain cells lol
I suppose their is always adoption, but I have heard horror stories about the UK adoption process so I'm a bit put off
You are right though they can do some amazing things their is always hope :)
Thanks again take care
Liz :)
Wow, that is a lot to assimilate in the face of an upcoming marriage. I think you are not being selfish not to want to increase your chances of dying if you have a child...why would someone want to have a child knowing they were not going to be there for their family? (My husband and I had this conversation when I miscarried -- he felt so vulnerable when I went to the hospital and left him alone with our 2-year-old; he felt like if I died, he would have to quit his job and care for our son, he wouldn't have the money to do that, etc. etc. etc. It was a far-fetched fear, but it was a taste of the kind of things a remaining spouse goes through if they lose their partner.) One of your possible ways to go with having a child is to look into surrogacy (gestational carriers) and IVF with your egg and husband's sperm but the gestational carrier carrying the baby. I know that is heartbreaking at first to even have to consider, but given your risks, at least you could have a child. The genetic testing that can be done on embryos is pretty amazing. If they can test, they can use only embryos that are free of the tendency.