A little about me

[innerchild09]

I decided to post a little about me and my family. 1st of all I have anxiety. I have phobias and social fears. I freak out when I have to talk on the phone. I'm on meds for anxiety allthough I take it everyday I don't always write it down. All my life I thought I had depression until about two months ago when I was diagnosised with bipolar disorder. I don't have any friends in real life. My family and I are on the outs. The only person I have is my Mom. We live together but we tend to argue a lot. I admit sometimes I start it but not always. She has mental problems too at 1st she was told she was paranoid schitzophrania and recently found out she was labled schitzoaffective. We are stuck at home a lot. Sometimes I feel like I'm all alone. That's why I came on here to just be able to talk about it without feeling judged by the world. To talk to people who can relate to someone who is like me sorta. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy. I don't know why I feel this way and have since I was in my teens. Well anyway you can post something to me or you can talk about you if you want or your life or whatever. I guess that's all for now.

[Jaquta]

Not a bad person, just a very unlucky one.  Same for many of us.
I've been so scared of failure that I've given up trying.  I avoid a lot of situations.
I know what you mean.  I crash and burn a lot too.  I think part of the problem is having too high expectations and putting too much pressure on ourselves.  Sometimes if we just backed off a little, or accepted slightly less from ourselves, we would be better off in the long run.
I think if we aim for short-term goals that are realistic we have a much better chance of success.
I think that most of the highs and lows occur because of black and white thinking.
For me I feel I am living my life crisis after crisis.  Often I don't have time to catch my breath between them.
Me too.  The internet is just a coping mechanism.  Distracts from the bad plus helps us to feel connected to others.  Maybe even makes us feel us though we're contributing.
I seemed to have added an increasing number of forums to my shortcuts.
I like the doctor on the mh and emotional eating expert forums.  I also read some of the posts from the other expert forums.  I dislike the depression forum.
If you're using the computer more perhaps you aren't coping as well as you have been?

I've been barely hanging on too at times.  I guess that is something we all have in common.  Plus we all get scared.  The doctor on the mh expert forum says that thoughts, feelings and memories, etc are just bits of information and nothing to be afraid of.
Maybe you need to try smaller steps.  You know like as in how a baby crawls before it walks and runs.
Perhaps it was thinking about all the changes you need to make or all the things you want to do that made you feel tired.  Change makes me feel exhausted.

Sometimes I think we need to have our fears validated before we can move on.

I'm tired too.  I went to bed late last night and had to get up early.  I also had my lower wisdom teeth out today.

Take care.

[amylove21]

Well I think you should try it agian. If you don't try you'll never know. I hope you get your chance soon and I hope you get a car soon. I can't imagine being stuck at home all the time. I would be bored stiff. Must be hard. I posted on the other thing too. On this forum but in the other catagory. I hope you get your chance to get the skills and you are able to retain them. But you have to try first or you won't get them. So remember to try. I hope my words aren't getting on your nerves. I'm not trying to hassel you. I'm really not. So I hope you aren't mad or anything. Ok I guess that's it for now. Talk to you later. Hope you get plenty of sleep.

[innerchild09]

Scared isn't the word. More like terrified. And I do try things. It's not like I just throw my hands up and say "Oh no I can't do this!"  I try to do things but I always seem to fail. But I will try this thing when I get the chance to. I can't help it but feel that way. I try not to but I do. I'm pretty down now. Well I'm getting tired I'm gonna lay down but I'll be on soon.

[amylove21]

That's interesting but I doubt that you did anything to deserve it. People with mental problems struggle. It's just like any other disease. Just take it one step at a time. Believe me I get frustrated too. Sometimes I feel like giving up, but I got to keep reminding myself to keep going because if I don't I'll never get anywhere. And I don't want that. I get tired of life too. I'm barely holding on but there is a strand I still have a hold on. So I got to keep going. You should try to get some skills I bet you would start to feel more in control of your life. I know your scared. I get scared too. I really do.

[innerchild09]

Oh I also go to the other mental health rooms. I forgot to add that. You may here the words I forgot a lot. Cuz I'm very forgetful. I pretty much stay on mental and emotional health sites. If I forgot other sites then... augh! Can't remember. Also if they had a schizoaffective community I would probably be a member on that site.

[innerchild09]

I know what you mean about getting frustrated with myself. I feel like I'm just chasing my tail if I had one. I feel like I'm living at a dead end. Can't get anywhere. I just feel trapped in the same mess never ending and won't go away. I am stressed out all the time. I get tired of things and don't really know how to change my life. I feel like there is no way out of the mess I call my life. I do get really mad at myself a lot. Sometimes I think I must be a bad person to end up with this type of life. Other time I just want to scream and yell. I guess failure scares me so much because of the way things always go. Everytime I try to do something with my life or to change things something happens. I always crash and burn. Sometimes I feel like I'm cursed. I know maybe I'm just being silly. It's just seems like only bad things happen to me and no good things. I know I'm a mess. So I get it. I come on here all the time. Clearly I have no life. I'm always viewing forums or checking up on things I post or something. So I'm on here alot unless I'm sleeping. Well I do other things too but lately I've been into the computure a lot. I know people are thinking this girl needs a life. And they are right. Unfortantly without a car there is nothing to do except be at home talking on the internet. So that's all I pretty much do. I know sad huh. That's my life. I usually read anxiety and bipolar forms. Also schizophrania. Oh I spend time on the autism form as well. Once in awhile sleep, but I'm only member to the anxiety and bipolar forms. But I still read.